Triggering (Grieving): 7 years

[Lil]

i lost my grandma 7 years ago today.she was my world until cancer came back and took her when i was 11.My parents were very young so she raised me more than them,she was my confidant and i loved her very much.I think about her everyday but over the years it has stopped hurting as much as it you use to.January is a hard month for me because i lost two other relatives a year after as well this month.I've always had a negative out look every year this month, my dad gets extremely temperamental around this time, and i'm hoping to have a better outlook on life this month for my grandma's sake.
guess i just needed to write that out, feeling better already

[Katrina]

Hey there Lili,

First off, let me thank you for sharing this with us - its so inspiring to read that you're carrying out your grandmother's awesome legacy, hopeful optimism, and willingness to listen in every choice you make--this month especially, but also in general. I know that this thread will be read by many, and I hope that others will follow in your footsteps - I think there is something remarkably important in celebrating the lives of those who are no longer with us physically; it keeps them alive, always with us, in our hearts.

You know, I think its completely okay that you still think of your grandmother everyday, and I'm so glad that this has, over the years, allowed you to go through the healing process, and move forward with your life. I honestly cannot express what a huge step I believe that you have recently taken in choosing to start this year off on such a positive note. That's beyond fabulous, Lili - keep on keepin' on! (: I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother (especially with you being so young) as well as the loss of your other loved ones, but I'm so grateful for the fact that she made such an incredible impact on you.

Often, during hard times such as these, it helps to surround ourselves with those we love. I say this not just for you, but perhaps even more for your dad. If you have any extra time to just be around him and be there for him as he goes through this difficult time, I imagine it would help him very much. I recently went through a period of time like this with my own dad, and I remember feeling clueless regarding what to say, or what to do. However, I think that even though there aren't necessarily any "right words" or "right things to do," your hopefulness and shining light will really help him through the beginning of this year.

If you need any support or a listening ear or anything, please don't hesitate to let me know. I can usually be reached through Private Message through the forums, or through MSN (which is listed on my profile); I'd love to hear from you. I hope that you will continue to shine your light, Lili. Take good care of yourself.

[Lil]

Originally Posted by Katrina

Hey there Lili,

First off, let me thank you for sharing this with us - its so inspiring to read that you're carrying out your grandmother's awesome legacy, hopeful optimism, and willingness to listen in every choice you make--this month especially, but also in general. I know that this thread will be read by many, and I hope that others will follow in your footsteps - I think there is something remarkably important in celebrating the lives of those who are no longer with us physically; it keeps them alive, always with us, in our hearts.

You know, I think its completely okay that you still think of your grandmother everyday, and I'm so glad that this has, over the years, allowed you to go through the healing process, and move forward with your life. I honestly cannot express what a huge step I believe that you have recently taken in choosing to start this year off on such a positive note. That's beyond fabulous, Lili - keep on keepin' on! (: I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother (especially with you being so young) as well as the loss of your other loved ones, but I'm so grateful for the fact that she made such an incredible impact on you.

Often, during hard times such as these, it helps to surround ourselves with those we love. I say this not just for you, but perhaps even more for your dad. If you have any extra time to just be around him and be there for him as he goes through this difficult time, I imagine it would help him very much. I recently went through a period of time like this with my own dad, and I remember feeling clueless regarding what to say, or what to do. However, I think that even though there aren't necessarily any "right words" or "right things to do," your hopefulness and shining light will really help him through the beginning of this year.

If you need any support or a listening ear or anything, please don't hesitate to let me know. I can usually be reached through Private Message through the forums, or through MSN (which is listed on my profile); I'd love to hear from you. I hope that you will continue to shine your light, Lili. Take good care of yourself.

thank you very much, i appreciate it

[Heartlines.]

Hey there.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am extremely close to my grandma as well, so i understand the bond. They do say death comes in threes. It's highly unfortunate. I am so glad that you are attempting to stay positive. Making even the slightest attempt will help. During that month of sorrow, I encourage you to do thing that make you happy. Maybe, take a day or two to grieve, or however long, then spend the rest of the month doing positive things.

I lost my dad when I was eleven. It is hard to lose someone you are close to. It's even harder to grieve properly. Death is a natural occurance that happens every day. What I do to remain positive is writing. Write about how I feel. I will write about how much I miss him, and how I wish he was still here. But then I write about how great he was, and how lucky I was to have him in my life for as I did. That's just what I did. Everybody deals differently.

All in all, I am definitely here for you, as I understand the pain of losing those who are close to you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am more then willing to talk to you, or listen, or be someone you can vent to. i am so glad you are trying to remain positive, as I know that is hard to do.

<3