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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Posha' Offline
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Gone - February 27th 2009, 01:05 AM

She's gone. She's gone & she's never comming back. She just left us here. She promised me she wouldn't give up. She fucking promised me. She looked me right in the eyes and told me she would hold on and she would get better and everything would be okay. Well it's not okay. Nothing is okay. I'm suppose to step up and be mommy. Well I'm 14 years old I can't raise two kids! I just don't understand why would she promise why would she give me that hope why. Everyone said everything was okay. Now she is gone. It's like she ran away. Just left us here alone. How am I going to know what to do. I wish it was me instead of her.


&& even if it kills me, I'm going to smile.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Gone - February 27th 2009, 01:23 AM

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Originally Posted by Posha' View Post
She's gone. She's gone & she's never comming back. She just left us here. She promised me she wouldn't give up. She fucking promised me. She looked me right in the eyes and told me she would hold on and she would get better and everything would be okay. Well it's not okay. Nothing is okay. I'm suppose to step up and be mommy. Well I'm 14 years old I can't raise two kids! I just don't understand why would she promise why would she give me that hope why. Everyone said everything was okay. Now she is gone. It's like she ran away. Just left us here alone. How am I going to know what to do. I wish it was me instead of her.
im really sorry that you lost some one close to you. im guessing that it was your mom that passed away. i know that she promised you that she would get better, but it just doesnt happen like that. no one can really control when they are going to die. i dont think that your mom expects you to step up and be your siblings mother now. your still a kid and im sure everyone wants you to not worry about anything but being a kid and enjoy life. even when it doesnt seem enjoyable. i know what its like to lose a mother. i lost mine 2 years ago, and it doesnt really get easier as time goes by. at least for me anyway. but you need to understand that your mom couldnt do anything more to stay alive. she did everything she could do to stay with you. but like i said i know its hard, so im here if you need or want to talk. and it can be about anything at all. just keep your head up and think positive and things will be alright.
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Re: Gone - February 27th 2009, 01:35 AM

But they do expect me to step up and be mom! That's what makes this all so much harder on me. My dad is never home. He works allll the time so I'm with my 2 younger brothers all the time. I have to get them ready for school in the morning, make breakfast...pack their lunches, get them on the bus, get them off the bus, make sure they shower, do homework, i have to do their laundry, then I start dinner, when dinner is done I get them to brush their teeth and get ready for bed...that's my life...I have no time for mmeee. I know I sound selfish but I just want to be a kid! I have to beeegggg my oldest brother to watch them for just a minute. He is too busy getting high to care about this family.


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Re: Gone - February 27th 2009, 02:16 AM

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Originally Posted by Posha' View Post
But they do expect me to step up and be mom! That's what makes this all so much harder on me. My dad is never home. He works allll the time so I'm with my 2 younger brothers all the time. I have to get them ready for school in the morning, make breakfast...pack their lunches, get them on the bus, get them off the bus, make sure they shower, do homework, i have to do their laundry, then I start dinner, when dinner is done I get them to brush their teeth and get ready for bed...that's my life...I have no time for mmeee. I know I sound selfish but I just want to be a kid! I have to beeegggg my oldest brother to watch them for just a minute. He is too busy getting high to care about this family.

your 14 for crying out loud. your not supposed to be taking care of anyone but yourself. isnt there any one else in the family like an aunt or something that could help out?? whenever your dad is home, tell him your going out for a walk or something so you can have some time to your self. you dont sound selfish, its not your job to take care of everyone else. and it certainly isnt your job to keep the family together. your a kid and you deserve to have fun and to go out and have time to your self. i cant believe that your dad expects you to do everything. i mean, yea sure hes grieving, but its not like your fine. you just lost your mom. your whole world has been screwed with. nothing is ok and nothing will be ok for a long time. its a bunch of crap that your the one that has to be strong and take care of shit. and im really sorry that it has to be like that. i really am.
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Re: Gone - February 27th 2009, 02:53 AM

Thanks. I makes me feel better just having someone see my side! My grandparents live 2 hours away. I want to go live with them but my youngest brother doesnt want to leave my dad, I think losing two parents would be too much on him. I tried explaining to my dad how I feel but he acrts like I'm being a selfish brat. We only see my dad seriously like once a wk...he leaves money in an envolpe on my dresser when he is gone working so I can pay bills and what not. It's just sooo frusterating having sooo many responisiblites! I'm barely passing in school because I'm too busy with house work, laundry, cooking and getting groccories to do homework. My older brother doesn't help at all. I feel like I don't even have an older brother. Ever since she passed away all he goes is get high or drunk. I haven't seen him in days now. I don't even know where he is! He is older, why isn't he the one taking care of usss!


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Re: Gone - February 27th 2009, 04:53 AM

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Originally Posted by Posha' View Post
Thanks. I makes me feel better just having someone see my side! My grandparents live 2 hours away. I want to go live with them but my youngest brother doesnt want to leave my dad, I think losing two parents would be too much on him. I tried explaining to my dad how I feel but he acrts like I'm being a selfish brat. We only see my dad seriously like once a wk...he leaves money in an envolpe on my dresser when he is gone working so I can pay bills and what not. It's just sooo frusterating having sooo many responisiblites! I'm barely passing in school because I'm too busy with house work, laundry, cooking and getting groccories to do homework. My older brother doesn't help at all. I feel like I don't even have an older brother. Ever since she passed away all he goes is get high or drunk. I haven't seen him in days now. I don't even know where he is! He is older, why isn't he the one taking care of usss!
your dad is the one being selfish. not you. hes the adult, plus the father. he should be the one taking care of you. not the other way around. at least he leaves money and doesnt just completely blow yous off. tell your dad that your going to quit school if you have to keep doing everything. at least then you will have some time to your self. people grieve in there own ways. im not saying what he is doing is right, but maybe thats his way of coping with the loss of your mother. if hes getting high or drunk and disappearing for days i dont think he is in the right mind to do anything that involves being responsible. your dad should take some time off of work to get things straightened out. and he should deff take the burden off of your shoulders as well. i wish that there was something i can do to help you out. maybe you could try writing to your grandparents and tell them whats going on. and tell them that you cant handle this on your own. they might come and help you or find someone that can. maybe talk to a counselor at school about this. it might not be the best thing, but call child services and tell them whats going on at home. they might be able to do something too. i really dont know what to tell you to do. its a tough situation.
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Re: Gone - February 27th 2009, 07:49 AM

this is very bad for you. i think you loves her alot. she gave you a new hope because she also loves you. she wants you can't feeling alone in future thus she worried about you.
   
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