Triggering: Senior Curse Strikes Again

[Live Aloha]

Ever since my 8th grade year, a senior at the high school has passed away close to graduation, either due to a car accident or suicide.
The past 2 years it's been someone I know personally. And it's just been harder and harder to cope.

So last last night after the basketball game, I went home, and all was fine and dandy. I go to bed, and this morning I was asleep and I kept on getting phone call after phone call. And I should've figured something was up, but I was just like, nah whatever. I'm tired, I'm not gonna answer the phone.

Anyway, when I finally do wake up, I realized it was all the other basketball players. So I texted one back and he was like, "There was a car accident and Pico is in the hospital," and at that point I was slightly relieved because even if there was an accident, he was still alive, so there was still hope right? And then another person texts me, "Pico and Corbin were in an accident. Corbin is dead," and my heart sunk. It's not the first time I've had to hear one of my friends is dead, and it won't be the last.

I don't even know what happened in the accident last night, I don't know if they were drinking, I just don't know what was going on period.

But I'm sick of people dying around me. Every single year. And the majority aren't even 18 yet. They have their whole futures ahead of them, and shit like this goes and happens.

So I think I'm the only one from the basketball team NOT at the hospital right now. I should be, I guess. But I'm scared. I don't know what to expect. I guess that's how we're all feeling right now, but I just want him to be okay.

So right now as I type this, other people on the team are just relaying me information. Pico is awake, he's eating, so that's a good sign. But he's still in the ICU. Head trauma and several fractures, a couple of them being open.

I honestly can't sympathize for Corbin right now. I don't want to sound insensitive, but he was the driver, and he was speeding (atleast 30 miles over the speed limit), and for all I know he was probably drinking too. I drove passed where the accident was. It's not pretty. The guard rail is like completely ripped out of the ground, and part of it is like 8 feet in the air.

When I heard about Pico, I cried. If he doesn't pull through, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Give me advice on this please. I don't even know what kind of advice I'm looking for. Just give me advice.

[Whisperer]

Hey there,
That sounds really tough. I'm sorry for all your losses. Just know you are definately not the only one struggling with such numerous losses. When I lost someone close to me, I didn't know what to do. It was the first time anything like that had happened to me. I knew how to deal with my depression and anxiety, but no clue how to cope with loss. What I learned is that everyone copes a different way. There is no wrong or right way. Talking about it to others is healthier then keeping it all inside, but it's all up to you. Don't feel bad you are the only one not at the hospital. You only do what you can handle. Whenever someone close to me has died, I've never been able to attend the funeral. Yes I feel awful about it but it's too much for me. I know the person would rather me stay sane and think about them myself then be a complete wreck. You don't have to feel guilty for not grieving Corbin. Yes it was his fault that Pico is injured right now and that's your main concern. When time has gone by and you've had more time to think and accept everything I think maybe there will be a time when you grieve for him. If not, that's okay too. Just remember, even though talking about this may seem awful and embarassing, it's actually better in the end whether you feel it right away or not. Stay strong, just keep on going. Let me know how you are doing.
Alessa