maybe the wrong forum...

[Southern&BlueEyed:)]

August 2nd my step-grandfather died. he was more like a best friend, honestly. he and my grandmother raised me. anyway, it was premature or anything. he was 65, it was a heart attack. sudden yes but not premature. but my issue isn't about me, its about my grandmother. she is 62 and she was married to the love of her life.

she is probably going through depression or something. but she gets these drunken states, that's honestly what it seems like. she stutters and makes little sense and does the same thing over and over while drifting in and out of sleep. (I'm sure she isn't drinking) but normally it comes and goes, these two days it has been consistant. it's just the two of us here, so no one else really sees it. any ideas?

[Katrina]

Hey there, Ashley Nicole. (:

I think your thread fits perfectly here, and I am so glad to hear from you -- reaching out and acknowledging that there's something that you need help with is such a huge step on the path to recovery.

First of all, I just wanted to say that I am very, very sorry to hear about the loss of your step-grandfather. He sounds as though he was a wonderful father figure to you as well as an incredible huband to your grandmother. My heart smiles to hear that they both got to share many, many years with the loves of each of their lives--each other, and I'm sure you, too. (:

I regret that I didn't stumble upon your thread sooner, Ashley Nicole. I realize its been several days since you've posted this thread, so before I go on, I just wanted to ask how things were going and how you guys' week was. If you have any updates for us, we'd love to hear them.

In times of grief and mourning, we all have different coping mechanisms (some that we utilize consciously and others that we aren't even aware that we're utilizing). I don't think its probably completely uncommon for people in the face of the death of a spouse and a loved one to find themselves almost trying to "shut out" the world in a way to try to avoid the pain they may be feeling, if that makes sense. But for the reason that we were all made to do life together and that fellowship and surrounding yourself with those who love and care about you is especially important in this situation, it is so very key that you're recognizing that your grandmother clearly needs love and support. I am so glad that you and your grandma have each other, Ashley Nicole.

My grandmother actually lost her husband (my step-grandfather) about five years ago, and I believe she may have found herself on the brink of depression in the months following his death. One thing I remember particularly well about the situation, though, is how much emphasis my mom put on making sure my grandmother got to go out and play tennis (which is her favorite, favorite, favorite thing to do!) at least four to five times a week if not more. Now, my mom is a Hospice nurse, so I like to trust her opinion on such matters, and I truly believe that she was really running with the idea of fellowship for my grandmother as she arranged these tennis dates with my grandmother's many tennis friends.

I encourage you to start an open conversation with your grandmother about potentially seeking help as she goes through this difficult time in her life. If she is anythng like my grandparents, she is from a day and age that REALLY stressed independence, and "being okay" and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps to keep trekking on. Don't get me wrong - these things ARE all important, but this may make it especially difficult for her to ask for help and support--both of which could really be beneficial to her right now.

I hope everything is going okay for both of you. Take good care of yourselves and keep me posted. (: