i lost a father figure..

[The ANTI-Troll]

So I been keeping this in for a bit and I need to spill...

Last saturday I found out my pediatric gastroenterologist that I had from my birth to currently died on january 25th. This man literally saved my life if it wasn't for him I would'nt be here right now. I been watching his guest book on a online memorial site and im amazed at how many people have posted that the saddest day was when they had to leave for another doc when they turned of age..

I believe I was probally his oldest patient and it really hurts to know all he did for me and i never once got the chance to thank him and now I wont. This man was like a father to me I always remember him being there at the hospitals I went to and checking in on me and actually talking to me and not being the kind to just walk in talk to the parents and leave like others I had..The medical field lost one of the great ones..

I don't even want to think about finding a new doc. even tho i need to.

Now how bad is it I didnt cry when my aunt died or my cousin but this is still hitting me like a a truckload of bricks....

[Katrina]

Hey there,

You know, it sounds as though this man made a remarkable impact on a lot of people. Its not hard for patients to realize when they have been blessed with an extraordinary doctor -- there's something unique in the way such doctors relate to their patients, allow themselves to care for the patients while still managing to stay objective, and just...in the way they carry themselves.

I am sorry to hear about the loss of such a wonderful role model to you. Please know that you are not alone in this. You do not have to rush yourself through the grieving process, as it is absolutely healthy to grieve for our losses. The fond memories you have are for you to keep and cherish, forever. Nothing will be able to take those away from you.

As far as finding a new doctor, its completely understandable that you don't want to think about that right now. I do think, though, that sometimes, trying to keep ourselves some sort of set schedule and organized way of living can really help us make it through dark times. While I certainly would never want to push you to do something you're uncomfortable with or not ready, please make sure that you do keep your own medical status in mind here, although I imagine it can be hard for you at this time; we just don't want to add any physical medical issues to your plate right now, you know? When you do begin to approach the issue, just know that there are other good ones out there who will care about you as a person and as a patient. On the note of having support, do you have friends and family members who you can talk to about this? I believe its very important, in times of sadness, to surround yourself with those who love you. It helps to talk about things or express in them in some other way (such as writing), so I hope that you will choose to open the conversation about this as you begin to move forward.

Its okay to not be okay sometimes. Crying is a healthy part of dealing with sadness, and so I just encourage you to not hold these emotions in. Take good care of yourself, and please do keep me posted on everything. I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

[The ANTI-Troll]

thanks katrina...

right now i decided to remember him im gonna get a tatto done with his name and birth and death and incorporated into something i yet to decide