i miss my nephew

[craz33me]

I guess let me explain. I lost my oldest nephew Nov. 3, 2010. He was 8 years old. His younger brother is 7.

They live on a pretty calm road. They were playing in the yard with a ball. The younger brother was getting his arm brace put on, because he had recently gotten his arm out of a cast. Him and my (Ex) sister-in-law's boyfriend was on the porch. The ball had rolled out into the road. My nephew said "Don't worry bubba I'll go get it." He got on his skateboard on his belly and rolled across the road to get the ball. None of them saw the car speeding down the road. He was on his way back when this car comes speeding by and just hits him. The boyfriend didn't even see the car, didn't know it was coming until he heard my nephew scream, and my other nephew yell "bubba!!".

He was rushed to the E.R. , but he never made it alive. He was killed on site. Makes me wonder if he even felt the pain. He was so cut up on his face from road rash.. His own father and mother could barely recognize him.

I was the closest to him, out of all my nephews. I didn't go to school for a week. I lost some weight, cause I wasn't eating a lot. Everyone was wondering why it was killing me so much, since he wasn't like a brother or a sister. It was killing me so much, because when his mom and my brother split up I had only seen twice since. The last time I saw him alive, him and his brother were playing in the road.. My dad told them don't play in the road.. you're gonna get run over.
I couldn't even look at him at the funeral. I couldn't. I took one glimpse. I started bawling right into my boyfriends chest.


That was months ago, and I still can't see a picture of him or talk about him.. without bawling. I just don't know how to handle it.

I'm sorry it's so long. I just needed help.

[luvflamingos]

I'm sorry for the loss of your nephew. Losing someone is always hard and can be overwhelming. I lost my mom and a friend last year. Even today, out of no where, I will burst into tears before I can get control of feelings. So yeah, its hard sometimes and it takes time.

Do you have someone close (friend, family member) who you can talk with? Talking with someone you trust is a good way to start the healing. Think about the good times you shared. How he made you smile, laugh or how you made him laugh. Or a special memory you two shared. It is good to let your feelings out. Yeah, even a good cry helps me at times.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.

[craz33me]

Yeah, I have my boyfriend that I can talk to. I trust him a lot.
and then I have like one best friend that i trust a lot too, that i could talk to.

[luvflamingos]

Lean on them Ciara. Talk to them. Cry with them. Hug them. Share your memories of your nephew with them. And always, always remember, we are here for you!

[craz33me]

'kay, thanks!

[kitkat_kate]

Hey, Ciara,

Loss is always really hard, and I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your situation. I know sometimes it feels daunting. Picking up after a loved one has died is terrifying. I know that when my grandmother passed away, a part of me was scared to move on because I'd lose her. I hadn't seen her in almost a year when she died and it was painful to know that the last time I talked to her in person, I was very wrapped up with my senior year of high school and didn't get the chance to really talk to her.

I can only imagine how difficult it is when that loss is someone much younger, with so much life ahead of them. You are going through a time when it's important to realize your feelings and know that each and every one of them are valid. Let your friends and your boyfriend help you through the stages of grief. Sometimes a hug is the most you could ever ask for, or just a body to listen to you.

Remember that your nephew will always be in your heart, and the hearts of your family and his friends. He will live on. He, I'm sure, was able to brighten your day and meant a lot. Clearly, that is something you want to remember forever.

I hope things start to look up. Please take care of yourself - sleep, eat right, find people to lean on, and, when you are ready, start to move forward. It's tough, but you can do it, and he would want that for you.

[craz33me]

Thank you. That was really helpful.
I'm worried about his lil brother. He's way worse off than anyone.
It was really bad during Christmas, because you would ask him what he wanted and give a suggestion and he'd say something about my brother wanted that.
Every once in awhile, he'll ask when bubbas coming home. He hardly leaves his mom's side or my brothers, he won't sleep alone cause i guess he was used to sleeping in the same room as his brother.

I'm thankful that he's going to counsilling and his mom has realized he needs to see his dad. So my brother gets to see him all the time. But he's getting better. Except for little spells.