I can't believe he's gone

[bjm_caa]

My brother killed himself about 5 years ago in May. We decided to donate his organs. Well we met one of the recipients about a year ago, and we actually saw him in person about 5 or 6 times. On Monday, we went with him to one of his check ups to see how the organs were doing. He was a little sick, so they admitted him to the hospital. Well we went and ate lunch and then went back up to the hospital to see him. When we got to the hospital, we were told his heart stopped and they put him in ICU. We later found out that night that he had a massive heart attack and went 20 minutes without any oxygen. He was in a coma and unresponsive. Well today at 2 we found out they took him off of the machine, and he passed away. It has been really hard for me to see him like that. It just brought back so many memories of when my brother was in ICU, and I had a lot of flashbacks. I don't want to go through this again. My life was getting back on track, and now i'm depressed again. I just can't believe how fast it took him. He was blind, and just found out he got accepted into a college for the blind, and he was about to get married in 2 weeks. I just miss him, and wish i could have gotten to know him better.

[Reverie.]

Bonnie, this is such a sad story, and I'm so sorry to hear of both your losses. Donating your brothers organs was a brilliant thing for your family to have done, and it must have made a lot of people very happy because of this.

My heart goes out to you, your family and the family of this person who sadly passed away. May his soul rest in peace. It's awful that so many things could go right for somebody, and that so quickly it can all be torn apart. Unfortunatly it is the world we live in and all we can do it accept that they were at least given the chance to live life as best they can.

No amount of reasurance can make you feel happy about this, but what I can say is that you should still feel good that you gave him a chance to live and carry the memory of your brother with him. He may be gone physically, but they both remain in your memories, so cherish those close to your heart and never let go of them. Everybody dies, but a memory never has to if you don't let it. It's understandable that you're upset, but don't focus on the negetive. Think of all the good times, the times he smiled and you smiled with him. Think of those, they will almost certainly bring a smile back to your face, even if only for a moment.

Take care, and PM me if you ever want to talk. <3