17 Years

[LostTeen011]

My grandmother left us today at the age of 72. She had been battling cancer for 7 years. The cancer spread to her brain and developed a brain tumor. My mother and cousin went to go see her at the hospital, but I decided to stay behind because I don't deal well with those kind of scenes. Right now I'm in a state of shock. I'm suprised I haven't busted into tears yet. Maybe it's because I've done enough crying this past month. It has been very upsetting to watch her deterioration. In less than a month she went from stumbling around, to not being able to walk, to not being able feel hal her body, to not being able to talk, and to having facial seizures. The last images I have of her is me sitting by her beside after I called Hospice who came to take her to the hospital while I said goodbye to her while she was seizuring. My God I do not know how I will get through the event (I can't say the real word that's how surreal this all is) this week. I hate going to those and I feel like I'll be traumatized witnessing it.

All I know is if God is really real I want to thank him. I want to thank him for giving 17 years with this incredible woman I hope I'll never forget. She helped raise and shape me to be the person I am today. Thank you for all the memories we shared together. The fondest ones I have are just living with her day to day. I love you grandma and I will miss you. Until we meet again old friend.

[*Jen*]

Hey Noelle,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It has been really awful to have seen your grandmother whilst she was so ill and not being able to do anything to make her better. I am sure she would have just appreciated you being there though. Your grandmother was ill for a long time and I guess the good thing is at least she is not suffering anymore. She is hopefully in a better place even though it is really hard.

It is only natural to feel shocked at the moment because it a lot to take in and hard to accept. I think you need to talk to people close to you about how you are feeling so you can support each other through it. You are not alone.

Stay strong