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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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iamraq Offline
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Unhappy i really miss - March 7th 2009, 04:55 AM

i really miss my mom. She died in July and its been hard. She died from cirrosis of the liver caused by alcohol she also got alcoholic hepatitas( i think its rare). She was a good mom she never made me feel like i wasn't loved. she supported me no matter what(unlike my aunt who i live with now, thats what makes it so much hareder for me) I could tell her anything. She also had a really good sense of humor. She went through alot in her life which caused her to go into depression and then drink. after she died i found these diaries she had when she was 12-17 i think and it was really sad to read that stuff. She apparently tried to commit suicide when she was 16 and had bullies after her in jr high causing her to miss alot of school. It hurt to read them but i ended up not finishing them because i couldnt take reading them any longer. She did have her good days it wasnt all like that. She never neglected me or my sister she just had a disease. I cant believe shes gone. I remember my whole life up until then i remember being so afraid of that happening and then it happens i tried so hard to save her. she was in the hospital for a while and i thought she was doing good. she said that she would never drink again. it really gave her a wake up call. but the stupid insurance people came and said she couldnt be there any longer because there was a limit. it really pissed me off cause they should not have let her go she couldnt even get all the medications she needed. she ended up going back after a few days and it was too late I stayed the night in the hospital with her and was there when she took her last breath(literally) it was the hardest thing. I blame the hospital and insurance but then i also think well if she was meant to live longer then she would have. It was obviously her time to go. Shes in a better place. She doesnt have to feel the pain she felt for so long anymore. but yeah I really miss her. This might sound weird but its not.. i have this necklace that has some of her ashes in it and i never take it off. you cant see them or anything. its in the pendant which is a star. From watching what she went through from alcohol has made me not even want to touch it. alcoholism runs in my family. my grandpa died from it before i was born. My grandma is still alive but is also an alcoholic. Im scared that the same thing will happen to her. she was always there when my mom couldnt be. shes also really fun to be around and is really funny.

Its been almost a year since my mom died I really wanted her to see me graduate.


6 So be truly glad.There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
1Peter 1:6-7 (NLT)
   
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Re: i really miss - March 9th 2009, 06:19 PM

Hey,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your mum I do understand how you feel to an extent, because I have lost my mum as well. Of course you are going to miss her, because she is your mum and you were obviously really close with her. I think your mum would be so proud of you for getting this far, and be going to graduate soon. You are doing really well despite how you must be feeling. You have to think about what your mum would want for you. She would want you to be happy and enjoying life. It is hard though when you have lost someone so close to you to just move on. But your mum will always be watching over you even though you might not be able to see her. Have you ever talked to anyone after losing your mum? Talking can really help. If you ever need someone to talk to then I am here :-) Stay strong, and remember you are not alone.
   
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Re: i really miss - March 9th 2009, 06:20 PM

=[ i'm so sorry this has happened!!
But remember. Your mum will allways be looking down on you every step of the way.
You can still talk to her even if she isn't there in person because she will allways be there in your heart.
I'm sorry that alcoholism runs in your family. Maybe because you are young and you can already see the dangers , it may stop you going down the same road!!
Could you not speak to your gran or your auntie about your worries?
Maybe you could benefit from a counsellor?
Is there a trusted adult? Teacher? Doctor? ect. that you could talk to?
Remember everyone here on TH are happy to listen to you if you want someone to talk to!
My PM box is allways open if you want to chat =]
I'm allways here!
xx


You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


I AM A BANANA



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