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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Liz94 Offline
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My best friend killed herself on monday - March 7th 2009, 08:40 PM

My best friend from were i used to live killed herself on monday and she did it while i was on the phone to her.

Im not copeing at all well i can't sleep and i hear her voice in my head constantly.

Worse still her parents emailed me and said it was all my fault and i was not allowed to go to her funeral meaning there is no way im going to let go of it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lIZ


"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:2

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 7th 2009, 09:29 PM

That really is terrible and I'm really sorry to here that

Her parents will come round eventually; they're just grief stricken, and you'll be able to let go in due time even if you can't go to the funeral.

All the best, Suzie xx
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 7th 2009, 09:37 PM

i am so so sorry...if u need to talk u can pm me...


All I want is to rock your soul!!!
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 7th 2009, 09:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by elievry View Post
My best friend from were i used to live killed herself on monday and she did it while i was on the phone to her.

Im not copeing at all well i can't sleep and i hear her voice in my head constantly.

Worse still her parents emailed me and said it was all my fault and i was not allowed to go to her funeral meaning there is no way im going to let go of it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lIZ
Dear Elizabeth,

I am truly sorry to hear about what happened. That is just awful. And so sad. My heart goes out to you. As difficult as it will be for you to do - especially right now - try to understand that your friend's parents are in shock. They most likely feel extremely guilty and through that guilt are desperately searching for something or some ONE to blame. And tragically - you have become the 'easy target'. Do NOT take that blame to heart. Realize where it's coming from. Its coming from two extremely upset parents who are frantically trying to pin the blame on someone for what happened to their daughter.

As for not being able to go to your friend's funeral - try to keep in mind that at that funeral will only be your friend's body. SHE is no longer using that body. SHE is not there. So find some place - a place that you find some comfort - a park or a garden [some place like that] and spend some quiet time alone with your friend. For SHE is now with you - whenever you think of her.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!

Last edited by CanadaCraig; March 8th 2009 at 10:37 AM.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 7th 2009, 11:08 PM

Elizabeth,
I'm very sorry for your loss. I couldn't imagine loosing a close friend like that. Her parents will probably come around eventually and apologize for accusing you, because it was not your fault. It's going to be hard for you, but you will find out that you can go on, though there will always be a part of you that misses her.
For the second part, I agree with Craig. You don't have to go to the funeral, because you will see her body there. But she's not necessarily there. Her spirit is going to be with you and every other person she cares about all the time. You should go to somewhere peaceful to be with her. You could possibly also go to where she is to be buried sometime and leave flowers and show your respect if you feel.
If you need to talk, feel free to PM me.
~Em


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 7th 2009, 11:09 PM

Oh my gosh. That is terrible. And you did not do it. There was obviously something in her life that was too hard for her to handle. If you need to talk about it you can message me or I can even give you my phone number. My best friend killed himself and it was not easy. But I want you to know im here for you
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 8th 2009, 12:10 AM

Wow, I'm really sorry about your friend.
I know it must be tough, but try not to let what her parents said get you down. They're definitely going through a lot of pain right now, and sometimes people do, lets say crazy things, when they've lost someone and feel the way they probably are feeling right now. It is in no way your fault at all, so don't even think twice about what they have said. As for dealing with her loss... well, that's a tough one. All I can say is that time will make it easier to deal with and a lot less scary to face. I'll keep you and your friend in my prayers. -Hugs- Hang in there. xx






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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 9th 2009, 05:18 AM

Oh sweetheart im so sorry. My best friend killed herself almost a year ago. She was my world and still is, i wanna tell you though that your never gonna get over it. But it will get easier to deal with, she'll always be in your heart and in your thoughts even though she's not with you in person.

PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 9th 2009, 06:17 AM

That is so sad. Her parents are upset. Maybe they'll get over it in time for the funeral. But it's not your fault honey.


You can't live a positive life with a negative mind and if you have a positive outcome you have a positive income and just to have more positivity and just to kind of laugh it off. ~ Miley Cyrus




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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 9th 2009, 06:43 AM

Well, the parents obviously would be upset as the way they'd see it, she killed herself while babbling to you on the phone, and you didn't stop it (assuming you could). Besides going to a funeral would do nothing good, as you'd see her dead, cold and wearing some fancy clothes. Give it a few weeks or a month and you'll probably be over it.
   
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 9th 2009, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YourNightmare View Post
Well, the parents obviously would be upset as the way they'd see it, she killed herself while babbling to you on the phone, and you didn't stop it (assuming you could). Besides going to a funeral would do nothing good, as you'd see her dead, cold and wearing some fancy clothes. Give it a few weeks or a month and you'll probably be over it.
I agree with the first part; it is rather astounding to judge based on a single side of a story with no regard for the other part. I think you should respect her parents wishes and stay at home
   
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 10th 2009, 12:14 AM

its not your fault..thats the first thing you need to tell your self..obviously shes been bothered for awhile for her to do this..
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Red face Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 15th 2009, 03:04 PM

Don't worry. It's wrong for her parents to blame you. You didn't do it. But they'll come around eventually. You could visit her grave sometime and lay some flowers there. You could try at home building a memorian with some pictures of her and things she liked. Light a candle for her sometimes. She will always be with you. Be strong.

XxBrokenSmilesxX
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 17th 2009, 10:42 PM

Elizabeth, that must have been so hard for you. Having your friend kill herself while you were on the phone to her, I can't imagine how upset you are.
I'm so sorry about her parents, but I guess they're just full of grief and want to find any explanation they can about why she killed herself and if anyone could have saved her.
It's not your fault at all, if someone truely wants to die, then nothing anyone can do can change their mind. They should come round soon, putting the blame on you isn't a fair thing to do, but they're not thinking properly right now.

Hope you're okay.

x
   
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 18th 2009, 01:33 AM

:-O

Wow that's absolutely terrible. Don't feel bad about what her parents said. It is not possible that you solely are responsible for her death; her parents are going through the same pain you are so they are just venting.

You should go to therapy. I know I would need to.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 18th 2009, 05:48 PM

hey elizabeth.

as what amanda said, people say the worst things whenever they arent in a good mood..and you know, i can tell you're going through a whole lot.

firstly, you've to remember that people who love us and truly care for us, will never ever truly leave our lives. They will stay on and bless our every move from somewhere, either high above or from your very heart

so no matter what the circumstances, i believe you can overcome it. your best friend WILL stay on together with you forever. always remember that.

always ready to help


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 18th 2009, 06:11 PM

Just to make sure... how do you know she killed herself? As I understand you live far away... + You have not even spoken directly to her parents?


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  (#18 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 18th 2009, 09:55 PM

I am so sorry to hear about this Elizabeth. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling at the moment. Just remember that it wasn't your fault. Try and think of the positive memories and times you spent together. Stay strong:-)
   
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Re: My best friend killed herself on monday - March 22nd 2009, 11:07 PM

aw liz
im so sorry
right firstly
here parents are gonna be looking for someone to blame right?
they are obvs confused and whatever and yeah
pm/msn me nay time
lyls xoxo



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