Triggering (Abuse): they died :(

[nolovejustlies]

My dad and brother both went out to war and 1 month ago we were informed that my brother didn't even make the flight and my dad died 4 months before, my brother Colton was my best friend, we were so close and now he's gone. My mum has been drinking and she started hitting me saying I caused them to die, it was my punishment to make up for my sins. I miss my brother so much, he was the only one I truly trusted...now he's gone. I don't know what to do... I feel like bursting out and crying and I broke my hand from punching a wall, I just don't know what to do.

[*Jen*]

Hey there,

I am so sorry to hear about this. You must be absolutely devastated and it is so wrong of your mum to be blaming it on you. You cannot be responsible for them dying so please don't believe that it is your fault. You have so much to deal with already without taking on that responsibility as well. Your mum sounds like she is really struggling to cope with it and since you are the only one around is blaming it on you even though it isn't your fault. I can't even imagine how awful it must be for you .

It is ok to cry. It is best to let out your feelings and express how you really feel rather than keeping it bottled up. Is there anyone at all you could talk to about how you feel maybe a teacher or doctor. People will want to help you but they can only help if they know how you are feeling. You do not have to go through any of this on your own and everyone here will support you through it.

Right now it might feel like things will never get better but they really will so keep fighting. Things can't stay like this forever.

Stay strong.

[Reverie.]

Hey there,

I'm so sorry to hear the news. I can't imagine what this must be like for you, but I am happy to help in any way I can. Their deaths are not and could not be your fault. Putting the blame on you is unfair of your mother, and she should not be treating you the way you have described. It's understandable that you are both feeling upset about this, and death is taken in many ways, but she cannot hit you and put this on you. I would second Jen's suggestion of talking to somebody about this. It may seem hard, but it's for the best I believe.

If you ever want to talk about this, you're welcome to let me know. I may not have the same experiences but I'm always happy to offer someone support. I wish you all the best, and I honestly hope you and your mum sort things out and help eachother to get through this tough time. I really believe you need eachother as support when things like this happen, and if you have eachother then you should use eachother to lean on in tough times.

Take care of yourself, and stay strong,
Hollie.

[The_Princess]

Hey,
I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I think that you should at least tell someone about how your mother is hitting you. Because it's not your fault you know. Maybe you should also try counseling. I know that you feel as if no one understands you, but keeping those feelings that you have bottled up is only going to hurt you more. The death of your loved ones will never leave you, but I don't think that you father and brother would want you to keep everything inside and be sad.

I hope this helps, even if only a little bit, and if you ever need to talk, or just vent, my PM box is always open to you!

[Beautiful_mind]

It is never easy when the people we love die, I am sorry that you lost them. It's important to remember though that you didnt cause them to die, your mum is proberly very upset i can imgaine and she is just lashing out, unfortunately your the one she is lashing out to. She is greving just as you are, maybe talk to each other about this, let her know that you understand how hard it is for her. Talk to someone close to you, like an other family member or even a doctor, they can refer you to a therapist in your area. It is very important to talk and not bottle everything inside as it will make things much worse. pm me any time you need

[Noah Zomby]

I'm extremely sorry to hear about your loss. Losing someone that close is hard for anyone. Yes, it was a tragic thing that happened, but it is NOT your fault. Something like that could not be your fault. Your mom is just going through a really hard time with this. She lost her son and her husband, that must be hard to deal with, but she's coping with it in a bad way. What you need to do is talk about it. Let your feelings out, but not through violence. Painting, drawing, writing, even just talking/venting to someone, but you can't bottle these feeling up, that will just end up badly for you. Try and get your mother to realize that while she's trying to cope, she's hurting you in the process.

Things will get better. They always do. <3