Tomorrow makes 2 years

[PutYourHeartsUp]

It doesn't feel like it's already been two years. I'm still not sure how I feel about the accident, because the last night I saw him was the night before I met the boy I'm pretty much in love with. No matter WHAT I did, I couldn't help but like him, but our friendship was really rocky and most of the time it was hardly a friendship at all...but I still liked him. And the day after I last saw him, I met another guy that I feel even stronger for, that almost makes me feel guilty. I don't feel as bad about wishing him dead two weeks before he died, because it wasn't my fault. He chose to speed down a bad road. Two years, and I still try my absolute hardest to keep from being how I was. I don't get mad anymore, or I try not to. The past few weeks have been the easiest to avoid anger, and I think it has to do with the date tomorrow. I also learned things I didn't know a couple weeks ago in an article. He wanted to be a teacher, just like me. And I found out what happened that day, at the hospital. It was never clear whether he was DOA or not, now I think he might have been. Even if his heart had been beating when they brought him in, I think his head was already gone.

I'm not heartbroken anymore. The fact that tomorrow makes 2 years isn't affecting me like it did that first day, or last year. I feel guilty for moving on, even if we weren't close. I don't really need advice, I was more just getting it out, but I didn't do a blog because I wouldn't turn advice down.

[dipka]

Firstly I think it's great that you WANT to get it all out, and arn't botherd by reciving or not recivig advice (that's the best way to be I think) so, here it is! I hope it's all relevent, Ill do my best

I don't think you should feel guilty about moving on from it especially since it has now been two years wich is plenty of time for circumstances to change. You should try to think about it as he wouldent have wawnted you to allways be sad, allways missing him (although he will apriciate you missing him) instead wouldent he have much rather preferd for you to have moved on, found someone elce, and be back enjoying your life?.. Im allmost certain he would, as allmost anyone would.

It sounds like you had some pritty strong feelings around the time he died wich you now obvsly cannot change. These memmories will allways be there, but I think it would help if you dident think about them all the time, perhapse only at significant times (yes such as it being 2 years ago) but I think as I said above, he would have wanted you to move on, therfore that is what you should do.

Hope it helps, even if it's just to know that you are not the only one who has ever lost anyone. Im allways here just ask.
dipka x

[Euphoria]

I'm sorry that you lost someone you cared about. I'm sure it wasn't easy at the time, and even now. But you seem to be doing really well now and more accepting of what happened. That is great progress! I'm always here if you need anything<3

Ps. What is DOA?