about 18 years on and still struggling

[Nutty Nat]

As most of you already know i lost my twin sister 3 days after birth, and about 18 years on im still strugling to cope, everytime i achieve something i feel guilty coz she didn't survive so didn't get chance to do something with her life i still don't know where she was buried. When i am unhappy i also feel guilty as shes the one that died, not me so i should be making the most of my life but i can't i feel empty.

[Anthropomorphic]

Is there someone you could ask to find out where the grave site is? If you could visit it, lay down some flowers or a personal item, or just reflect upon it, I think it would give you some peace.

Death is always hard, but it can be sadly compounded by knowing that you lost someone who would have been so close to you, and yet you never got to know. This kind of loss is unique, and it's hard for other people to understand. But don't let it hold you down so much that you forget to enjoy your life. When you enjoy something, or accomplish something, or achieve a difficult goal, do it with a sense of resolve and euphoria that you can direct as being not just for yourself, but for your sister as well. For all of the things that she would have wanted to do, you can do just as much in dedication to her memory, and make yourself feel more whole in the process.

[Nutty Nat]

I don't feel complete at all. I can't asl no one