Triggering: memories

[Kira-Kira]

i was talking to my gf's mom and she is still blaming me for her death and it brang all these memories i miss her soo much i just cant get over her death i wish i couldbve been there but it was impossible hence she just moved across the country i just dont see how it was my fault at all idont understand how she blames me she made us break up she moved her away she put stress on her to keep her 5.0 whenall she needed was a 4.0 we were happy together i loved and she loved me i felt comfortable and she took that all away from us she is the one that caused her suicide not me but yet i do feel its my fault these voices just keep saying its your fault how could you do this too me i miss her so much and i just dont know what to do anymore i want to just die to be with her

*feel free to move if in wrong place

[Reverie.]

Hey, Coco,

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I don't believe it was your fault at all. In fact unless someone actually led her to kill herself directly, or actually killed her themself, there is every possibility that it was no-ones fault independantly. There are many reasons why people commit suicide, and while it's hard to accept that such a tragedy has happened, it does and unfortunatly we cannot change that now.

I know it's hard to accept this. I also know that me telling you to move on now is hard to do, but you have to realise that you didn't kill her, so there is no reason for you to feel so guilty about it. Her mum has no right to blame you for her death, and although it will hit you hard to hear her blame it on you, you've got to tell yourself it's not your fault and to ignore her. I'd suggest also maybe finding someone you trust to talk to about this as it can't be easy to go through this on your own.

Feeling like you want to be with her is usual, but do not act on that. Death isn't the right way to go about this because things can get better. Talk to people, try to find someone to lean on who can support you through this. It's not going to be easy, but that's not to say you can't do it, because you really can!

PM me at anytime if you want to talk about anything at all, I'm happy to listen and help you out in any way I can. I really hope you start feeling a bit better soon, and again, I'm sorry for what you've had to go through.

Take care and keep smiling,
Hollie.