Odd question.

[Here.with.you]

My grand parent on my dad side died when I was a little girl. I bearly even knew them. When I was little I didn't understand what was happening. But looking back on it know I want to know more about them. I want to go back and go to there funeral actually say good bye. I wish I was close to my cousins so they could tell me more! I feel like there death was my fult. I feel like if I wasnt born then my parent could vist more and would have seen then more. Has anyone else feel like it was your fult and wish they could just go to then and spend Christmas night with them in there laps smiling and laughing with your whole family and your family won't be so distant and bearly talk to each other. Have you ever wish you had more time.

[Reverie.]

Hey there,

First of all, I'm so sorry you lost them at such a young age and didn't get the chance to know them properly. But no it's no unusual to feel this way. I think at some point everyone will wish they'd have done something differently, or even had the chance to do so. It's not odd and it means you're not alone with this. Of course you're going to wish you'd have been close to them and of course you'll regret the fact you weren't there to bring your family together and enjoy the time your reletives had. But the thing is, it's out of your control, and you've done nothing wrong to feel bad over. You really don't. All you can do now is find out more about them from family members, maybe use it as a way to get closer to those you're not so close to.

Take care,
Hollie.

[dipka]

I have, My mum's dad died a week after my third birthday. I do have memories of him, despite what people say about me being too young, I have lots of memories of my early childhood (including some as young as me aged 1)

A bit similar to what Hollie said, you will have to live with whatever feelings you think now for the rest of your life, try however you can to ensure you are left with good feelings. Whatevever you did/didnet do as a child cannot be changed now. Weather the death was/wasent your fault it has happend, no-one can change the past now.
All you can do, is look ahed towards a better brighter future
dipka x