My school's Caretaker died :(

[samantha:)x]

Martin had worked in my school for years... like 40 years? I always saw him around school but never spoke to him... I always thought he was weird or a "freak" because he had a hunchback... I feel so bad because i feel like i could of tried to talk to him or something and not of made fun of him or rude comments behind his back... and now his gone i feel like a right bitch Some students and teachers in school are really upset because they spoke to him or knew him for ages. This is my wall post that explains it mostly...

To everyone who thinks he died from brain tumour or comer like I did he didn't... He had an operation on his eye and he went home to recover.. Then like a couple day's later he felt really Ill and his son took him to Hospital and he died from Brain haemorrhage R.I.P Martin..x

at least he died in a comer and peacefully... :L
oh yeah and is it possible that people like me that isn't that close to him grieve ?? because i feel pretty sad about it and guilty...x

[dipka]

Any death is allways hard, whoever it is that has died, even if you dident know the person but a friend/relative did. A death will allways have an affect on everything around you. This often leads many people to suffer grief all at once.

The feelings of sadnes and guilt you descrive are all normal way's that people greave.
The best way to get over greif is to focus on the positives such as:
-From what you say it sounds like martin did a job he was happy with, or he wouldent have stayed, in his mine he had a happy life
-you cannot change the past.
Whatever you may regret about the past it's happend, you cannot change it however much time you spend thinking you regret it. Therfore you should instead look to the future, wich is very easy to change if you want to.

dipka

[Reverie.]

Hey there,

I'm sorry you feel this way. Death is a shock to anyone and when we hear of it, it can get us down whether we knew the person well or not. For example, many people grieve over a celebritys death. It's not unheard of to be shocked, upset or so on when you hear of the death of someone you may never have spoken to, but had some sort of a connection with. In this case, I believe it to be perfectly fine that you feel the need to grieve over his loss as you feel guilt towards what you've done. Remember however, that you cant go back and change that now, so there isn't much point dwelling on it and making things harder. You could instead use it as a sign to stop making these comments and maybe correct people when they do, as it's hurtful to people and I think you'd know this. Remember, now all you can do is respect him in death, even if you didn't in life. Take it easy, it's hard to deal with but it will be okay!

PM me if you ever need to talk,
Hollie.