How do I help her?

[DinestyX]

My best friend Kayla and I are like sisters, to be perfectly honest. We spend every moment we can together and tell each other everything. That's why when I look back on it, it isn't surprising at all that I was the person she ran to when her father died. She found him, and when she called she was just destroyed. Since then it's been a few months, and though she acts better I can tell she isn't completely over it. She'll have moments where she'll randomly go off topic and start talking about him. This always upsets her so much that I try to lead her to another topic to take her mind off of it. I'm just not sure this is the right thing for me to be doing...I feel like I should be doing something else to help her, but I just don't know how, since I haven't really had to experience anything like what she's going through.

Does anyone know how I can help her?

[The Morrigan]

Hi there Destiny,

I think the best thing you can do for her at the moment is just be there for her when she needs it. Reassure her that you care about her and if there's anything she needs to talk to you about then you'll be there to listen.

Did she get any counselling to help deal with her father's death? If not, then perhaps you could suggest this to her or you could see if there are any support groups in your area and you could offer to go with her to one.

I hope this helps, take care

[purplekc95]

Just be there to listen, that's the best thing you can do. She'll appreciate it a lot. And just let her get it all out then when she starts quiting down bring up something else exciting and that ought to bring her mood back up! Loosing a parent i can imagine is especiially hard! Hope she gets better! She'll get stronger every month, just always be there for her. Thats the greatest gift you can give her <3

[DinestyX]

Originally Posted by Capt'n Cara

Hi there Destiny,

I think the best thing you can do for her at the moment is just be there for her when she needs it. Reassure her that you care about her and if there's anything she needs to talk to you about then you'll be there to listen.

Did she get any counselling to help deal with her father's death? If not, then perhaps you could suggest this to her or you could see if there are any support groups in your area and you could offer to go with her to one.

I hope this helps, take care

I'm afraid not. She got this silly thought in her head that she had to be the strong one for her mother, so I'm not sure if I could get her to go. She likes to pretend that she's alright, and her mother's so grief ridden she doesn't notice, but I do. I guess it's something that happens after you spend so much time with someone.

Thank you for the advice though.

[DinestyX]

Originally Posted by purplekc95

Just be there to listen, that's the best thing you can do. She'll appreciate it a lot. And just let her get it all out then when she starts quiting down bring up something else exciting and that ought to bring her mood back up! Loosing a parent i can imagine is especiially hard! Hope she gets better! She'll get stronger every month, just always be there for her. Thats the greatest gift you can give her <3

Thank you for the advice. I always try to be there for her, but I'm just never sure what to say to try and comfort her. I mean...I just could never imagen my dad dying, let alone being the one to find him.

[purplekc95]

Yeah, to be honest its always hard to find the right words to say to a grieving person, especially when you can't have that empathetic connection it makes it extra hard. Do sme research on grieving, and maybe have her join a grieving group with her mom. It'll help a lot (:

[Revolution]

Let her talk to you the way she has. You're being a great friend by listening. It's really hard sometimes to always know the right thing to say,but you are strong, and can do it! I would also try to distract her, take her to movies, and make sure she knows you'll always be there for her.