TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
WashoutThePain Offline
=]
Outside, huh?
**********
 
WashoutThePain's Avatar
 
Name: Ask Away!
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere to be found

Posts: 4,748
Blog Entries: 377
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:08 AM

So... it's not a big deal or anything... but I still have contacts in my phone for my grandmother who recently died this fall (I guess it's not so recent anymore...) But yeah. I see her name when I look for others I need to call and I guess.. I just don't know what to do with it. I mean, it's stupid to keep it there, but I can't imagine taking it away (I guess I am still pretty much in denial so taking it away would be a huge deal for me...) When should I just.. delete it? Do I have to delete it? If I do delete it, does that seem rude? If I keep it... is that pathetic?

Any comments would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading.

-Amy


   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Never Forget Hope
I can't get enough
*********
 
escape_thereal_world's Avatar
 
Name: Kelly
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Charleston, SC

Posts: 3,097
Blog Entries: 98
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:11 AM

Aww I understand what you're going through. I think it's fine if you keep it. Delete it when you feel ready okay? And if you're that afraid of deleting it, write it down somewhere and delete it. Then when you're sure you can go without it, throw the paper away.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
TheNumber42 Offline
Dolan
I can't get enough
*********
 
TheNumber42's Avatar
 
Name: Cody
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: USA

Posts: 2,145
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:14 AM

I understand how you're feeling. I have a friend that died last summer, and she is still in my address book. I feel weird still having her number, I mean by now it may even be reassigned, but it just feels wrong taking it out too. I agree that it is best not to do anything you aren't comfortable with. It's your phone, so remove it if and when you feel ready.


~Cody

Normal User
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
MadPoet Offline
You're the Original <3
Outside, huh?
**********
 
MadPoet's Avatar
 
Name: Amanda.
Age: 24
Gender: Female.
Location: Michigan.

Posts: 4,685
Blog Entries: 121
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:26 AM

Yeah, I agree.
No one's going to laugh at you or think you're being ridiculous, and I think a lot of us can really understand how you feel about it. Don't remove it until your ready and feel comfortable doing so, and don't worry about seeming pathetic if you decide to keep it - you're not pathetic at all, it's completely understandable. -Hugs- Hang in there. x





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Never Forget Hope
I can't get enough
*********
 
escape_thereal_world's Avatar
 
Name: Kelly
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Charleston, SC

Posts: 3,097
Blog Entries: 98
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:30 AM

Another thing you could do, is make a bracelet or necklace in remembrance of her. It might help you with all of your feelings and mmight allow you to let go easier. I did that with my grandma who passed in December.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
WashoutThePain Offline
=]
Outside, huh?
**********
 
WashoutThePain's Avatar
 
Name: Ask Away!
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere to be found

Posts: 4,748
Blog Entries: 377
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:30 AM

I sorta think keeping it would be really pathetic though... especially cause I am secretly hoping if I call, she'll answer... =\ Normal people are over it by now... what's wrong with me?


   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
TheNumber42 Offline
Dolan
I can't get enough
*********
 
TheNumber42's Avatar
 
Name: Cody
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: USA

Posts: 2,145
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:34 AM

No, it's not pathetic at all. I think that's entirely normal to want. There is no such thing as a 'normal' person, everyone has to do things at their own pace. Just because you take longer than other people doesn't mean you are pathetic or weak. I think it just shows how much you really cared about her.

*hugs*


~Cody

Normal User
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
BrittneyNicole Offline
live with intention.
I can't get enough
*********
 
BrittneyNicole's Avatar
 
Name: Brittney
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Maryland

Posts: 2,040
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:36 AM

Nothing is wrong with you. One of my best friend's has been dead for almost a year and I still have his number in my phone. And I have my grandfather's number, too. I can't bring myself to get rid of them. Nothing is wrong with you at all. Do what is right for you.


"You've just been B-Wildered." -Brian Wilson <3
Trumpet love; Tenderlips.

"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

  Send a message via MSN to BrittneyNicole  
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Never Forget Hope
I can't get enough
*********
 
escape_thereal_world's Avatar
 
Name: Kelly
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Charleston, SC

Posts: 3,097
Blog Entries: 98
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 01:38 AM

Again, I think making something you can keep with you at all times will help with that. You won't feel the need to call her, you'll feel like she's with you always. It sounds cliche lol...but it's what I did and now I don't feel nearly as sad.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
losing touch.'s Avatar
 
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 5,996
Blog Entries: 537
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 02:42 AM

My grandfather died about a month ago and i don't intend to delete his number. It just makes it too, well final i guess in my head and i don't know really.. i just don't want to delete it. It's definitely not pathetic to keep it, just do what you think is right.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
eunoia Offline
(n) beautiful thinking
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
eunoia's Avatar
 
Name: Jes
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 5,887
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 03:18 AM

I only recently removed a friend's number from my phone, she died almost a year ago. It was, in a way, a final goodbye. The number was, I'm sure, reassigned, and I realized it was her name in my phone, not her number, that I was attached to. I also realized I could keep her memory with me without her name there... it isn't something I'll ever forget, you know? She'll always be in my heart. That said, she's still on all of my contact lists elsewhere. I guess that is for another time, yeah?

I don't think it's pathetic to keep it or rude to delete it. Just remember that deleting is doesn't mean you're "deleting" any part of her. The memories you have of her are yours to keep forever, and nothing can take the from you. If it means something to you, symbolically, that's alright, too. Do what feels best, in your heart.

I'm always here to talk.



Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
Dance with me
I can't get enough
*********
 
Casey.'s Avatar
 
Name: Casey
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere in my mind

Posts: 2,343
Blog Entries: 337
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 04:43 AM

Amy, it's not pathetic. Everyone griefs in their own ways. My grandfather died eight years ago and I still have things of his: an old drivers license and we have a recording from an answering machine with his voice on it.My mum and I use to play that recording over and over again, for quite a few years.I still miss him, and I will always miss him. It takes a long time to move on.Just delete the number when you feel ready, and remember you can keep the number for as long as you want, it doesn't make you pathetic.

Pm me if you need someone to talk to.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


PM me

  Send a message via Yahoo to Casey.  
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
MadPoet Offline
You're the Original <3
Outside, huh?
**********
 
MadPoet's Avatar
 
Name: Amanda.
Age: 24
Gender: Female.
Location: Michigan.

Posts: 4,685
Blog Entries: 121
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 06:41 PM

You're not pathetic at all, Amy. It takes everyone different amount of time to deal with things, and it's completely okay if it's still bothering you. Sometimes when you lose someone simple things can make you feel bad and miss that person, and it's completely understandable. Everyone still hurts and misses your Grandma, trust me. It just might not show, but they do. I agree with the idea to maybe make something in remembrance of her, or carry around something she may have bought you for say a birthday, or something. But, you shouldn't feel pathetic in any way, because there's nothing wrong with the way you feel about this.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
carrotgirl Offline
Banned
Average Joe
***
 
carrotgirl's Avatar
 
Name: Phie
Gender: Female
Location: England.

Posts: 110
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: February 20th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 09:38 PM

If it was me, i would write the number down on a special piece of paper and put it into a special place and keep it forever.

But you should do what feels right,

(:
x
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
drowningangel Offline
.Surrender.
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
drowningangel's Avatar
 
Name: Kathy
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern USA

Posts: 620
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 20th 2009, 10:28 PM

If this helps you any, two of my very close friends who died over a year ago are still in my contact list. I can't bring myself to delete them yet either. It seems so final, like I'm telling them goodbye. So you're definitely not alone. (hug)


Married since 28 June 2009 to my DevilDog


-----

"Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same."
- Emily Bronte
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
Stuckinhell Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Stuckinhell's Avatar
 
Name: Sammy
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 813
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 21st 2009, 03:32 PM

Hugs. Your not alone. Sometimes its the smaller things which are harder to end, because no one notices. For 6 months after the death of my nanna, I paid for her phone to stay on, just so I could phone her and hear her voice. Gradually I learnt to turn elsewhere for help and it just faded out. For me. I couldnt stand the thought of having her name crossed out of my phone book, it would seem wrong to me. So instead, I brought a new book, and just transferred the rest of the numbers. It saved me that pain of seeing the name, but saved me crossing it out.
Sorry if that didnt really help. But the answer is in your own time, as corny as it sounds. It's not harming anyone, so grieve your way. It's not pathetic. Just adapt in your own time.
xxx


   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
carrotgirl Offline
Banned
Average Joe
***
 
carrotgirl's Avatar
 
Name: Phie
Gender: Female
Location: England.

Posts: 110
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: February 20th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 21st 2009, 04:17 PM

-hugs-

xxx
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
WashoutThePain Offline
=]
Outside, huh?
**********
 
WashoutThePain's Avatar
 
Name: Ask Away!
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Nowhere to be found

Posts: 4,748
Blog Entries: 377
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 21st 2009, 06:21 PM

I couldn't delete it.... I guess I will just keep it for now... and see what happens. I wish I didn't have to see it though.. I guess the memories make me sad. Sorry. Thank you for your help. I guess I just have to... figure it out?


   
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
Arcenciel Offline
Child and Youth Care Worker
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Arcenciel's Avatar
 
Name: Jen
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW!

Posts: 999
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: March 21st 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 21st 2009, 06:38 PM

My baba died a few months ago, and we were really close. she lived with us my whole life.

I have very similar attachments. One of my e-mail folders said "baba and grandpa" so I had to change it to just Grandpa, but that change was out of anger, and if I change it back now, it'd be pointless, but I cried lots when I did change it.

I still have many things in my life that're going to have to change, and the contacts in the phone etc are one of them. It's not bad AT ALL to want to keep them. It's good, actually. When your'e ready and if you feel it nessesary, you will change it. Hell, maybe one day you'll get a new cell phone and decide to put the information back IN it.

*hugs* you're not pathetic, you're grieving.
   
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
Double X Offline
bee boop
I've been here a while
********
 
Double X's Avatar
 
Name: Kyle
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: Boston

Posts: 1,621
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: March 11th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 22nd 2009, 07:26 PM

I call my friend's phone all the time - just to here his voice. It makes sense, but still weird, I feel like a psycho. You're not the only one.
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
lukethekid Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
lukethekid's Avatar
 
Name: Luke
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Location: Har Town

Posts: 52
Join Date: March 27th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 29th 2009, 01:38 PM

if this could help Hun you could move the number into a different folder in your phone
that way it would always be there but you wouldn't have to constantly see it and constantly remember it
   
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
Olive, always Offline
The Mighty Grape
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Olive, always's Avatar
 
Name: Liv
Age: 27
Gender: Female

Posts: 262
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Telephone numbers... - March 29th 2009, 01:40 PM

Amy - listen. You don't have to feel stupidly, it's simply your way of coping.
<3 Text me anytime. (:
Take care of yourselfff


=P
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
numbers, telephone

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.