I dont know what to do

[hollyberry]

Last year, in less than a year, both my nan and grandad, my dads parents, died, and also my sort of great uncle, who I was closer to than my actual grandad.
When my nan died I was away travelling in New Zealand, which was so hard being so far away. When my grandad died I was at uni and there was no funeral because he lived abroad and donated his body to medical science. when my uncle died i went to the funeral but because I was not an officially close family member i tried to hold myself together, and also because my dad was so upset.

I just feel sad, But at the same time I feel im just holding this all inside and that i've never really dealt with it because of the situations at the time. I feel worried about my dad, because he lost both parents and the next nearest thing to a parent within a year, and I feel scared that someone else could die, and I am so close to my mums parents. i just dont know what to do because its been a while now since so I shouldnt still feel like this and I cant talk about it to my parents because I dont want to upset them, and for other reasons, i just cant.
Im sorry for babbling on ive just never said/written this to anyone before.

[Aletheia*]

For the record, it's okay to be upset. Even when others are grieving. It's always a good thing to be strong, but it's okay to cry and to grieve the losses that you've experienced. Your dad lost a lot of close people to him, and it's only natural that he'd be upset. However, wallowing around in self-pity isn't going to get anyone anywhere. Your grandad, your nan and your uncle wouldn't want you or your family to sit around being upset all the time. They'd want you to continue your life the way you would normally if they were there. This is all that is expected of you during such hard times like this.

Death is inevitable. It's going to happen to everyone, whether we like it or not. I know it can be scary, but this is a reality I think most people don't realize. We can't prevent it. When it's their time to go, and when it's our time to go, we will. Some people leave sooner than we'd like, but it's all part of a plan, at least this is what I believe.