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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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SecretxTears Offline
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Close friend's dad - March 24th 2009, 09:07 PM

Last night, one of my (and ForeverAutumn.'s) close friend's dad passed away. I just found out today. I guess I was just shocked and sad, and I just started crying right in front of everyone in school. I couldn't even bring myself to write anything happy for a while even if it was for a worksheet. I knew her dad and remember him very well. He was just one of the best people.

She didn't come to school Friday, yesterday or today and we all thought it was because she was sick. I had previously found out before that her dad had cancer, but she told me that it wasn't life threatening so I never brought it up as it seemed like she didn't want to talk about it with anyone.

This morning, the principal brought me aside in the morning while I was heading toward my locker. She asked me if I knew about my friend's dad's illness..I obviously said yes and asumed that the principal was talking about my friend's dad having cancer. Then she told me to help my friend and if there was a point where I couldn't help my friend, to tell her. That's when I began to worry. I thought maybe he was really sick and that maybe I would email my friend when I got home. I was in English when the teacher told us.

The past few weeks when she was in school, I would notice something and ask her if she was okay. She would just say that she had a headache or was tired, and now I realize that she wasn't okay.

Me and my other friends want to help her, but we feel like it's maybe too soon since he just died last night. We want to give her some space and some time to get over it, but we also want to let her know that we're here for her. Any advice on what we can do? We just really want to help her get through ths right now and she's truly a really good and close friend.
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ForeverAutumn* Offline
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Re: Close friend's dad - March 24th 2009, 09:24 PM

To add to what Kris said...I think it was quite a shock for most of us who knew her father. Only a few of her closest friends were aware her father was ill [I didn't even find out until this afternoon]. This all just happened rather suddenly.

We have a rather close group of friends and we'd all like to help her in some way, but we aren't sure how to do this. One of our friends mentioned going to visit her later this week but I'm not sure if that would be the best thing to do, whether she'd want her space right now or her close friends around her. I can't even imagine what she must be going through right now.

To make things worse, I know at least two or three of her teachers faked being sympathetic or were remorseful for a few moments when they heard, before brushing it off like nothing happened. And while that may be a reaction some have, to pretend nothing happened - that's definitely not why those teachers responded that way. I'm afraid when she's back at school, it'll make things harder for her.

But yeah. We're really at a loss right now. Her dad was quite young and from what I learned, has been sick for a while, at least a year. I just...we don't know what to do to help her. We want to make this as easy as possible for her right now because she'll hide how she's feeling to keep the mask up and be the 'strong' one.

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