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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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bjm_caa Offline
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Name: Bonnie
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Will it ever stop? - March 25th 2009, 04:53 AM

I am 18 years old and have been to at least 10 funerals in the past 3 years. I have been close to almost every person, and I don't know if I can handle someone else dying. I know there will be a lot more people because my life is just starting, but funerals seem like they are becoming my life. The three hardest funerals I have been to are my grandpa in April of 2006, my brother in May of 2006, and my grandma in October of 2007. My brother's funeral was the hardest. He committed suicide, and I was the one who found him. The last picture I have of him is after he shot himself in the face with my dad's shotgun. It is getting a little easier, but i'm tired of everyone I get close to dying.
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MadPoet Offline
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Re: Will it ever stop? - March 25th 2009, 12:06 PM

Aw, I'm really sorry Bonnie, I know that must be hard, and extremely rough on you, and I can imagine that you would be scared of losing someone else, who wouldn't be? I'm honestly not completely sure what to say, but I am confident that things will get better. It's hard to lose people, especially when you're close to them and you've lost a lot of people in your life, but the good news is that it's pain that becomes easier to deal with. Try to be grateful for the time you did had with the people who have died in your life, though that's hard to do it has helped me many times, and maybe it will help you out a bit to. And at the same time, enjoy the time you have left with everyone else who is close to you. You never know when you're going to lose someone in your life, the important thing is that you keep them close and hold on to the time you do have left with them while you still have it. Try not to worry about what's in the future, live right now. I can guarantee that if you do, it will still hurt when people pass away, but it will be a lot easier. I promise things will get better. If you ever need to chat, feel free to PM me anytime. Take care and hang in there. x





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: Will it ever stop? - March 25th 2009, 03:44 PM

Bonnie,

I don't think my words will ever be able to convey how deeply I ache for you, right now. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are going through--I don't want to, it just seems so unfair.

I think every death we witness, every loved one we lose, changes a piece of us forever. Sometimes it breaks off a piece of our innocence. Sometimes we feel cheated out of time with someone, we feel lost and unsure of how to cope. We're reminded of our mortality--we are forced to admit that no one lives forever.

It might be especially difficult to cope with, and make sense of, a loved one's suicide. We wonder why they didn't want to stay, what could we have done, and so many other things. It's always important to remember, though, that they cannot suffer anymore.

I wish I knew the words to magically make everything better for you, but I don't and I'm sorry. I can offer to be here, though, if you ever need anything. And please feel free to take me up on that at any time.

Remember that you don't have to go it alone, Bonnie. Reach out to your loved ones for comfort. Hold on to your memories of your lost family and friends--you cannot make new memories with them, but those you have are yours to keep, forever.

I'm always around.



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I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
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Re: Will it ever stop? - March 29th 2009, 01:35 PM

i kno how you feel though hun it's all good though, i have been to 13 funerels for friends alone and i'm only 15, it's hard, but they all go to a better place where everyone is excepted and they can live the good life

r.i.p. 2 all
   
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