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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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wilsos Offline
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Name: Sophie
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Thumbs down I really miss a freind - March 28th 2009, 04:19 PM

My friend died a year ago and I really miss him. He had helped me through evething when my dad got ill and he wasn't just a mate he acted like my boy freind and I don't know how he died some people think he killed himself or there was something wrong with the car. When I last time saw he was drunk and started kissing me in bed I got sacred because I don't know if he did because he was drunk or he did it because he did really fancey me. So I selpt on the floor. The next thing I know he died and I can't get over it. I really did fancyed him but I never told him. People say to me its still my fault is it?

Last edited by wilsos; March 28th 2009 at 09:50 PM.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
nycbound449 Offline
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Re: I really miss a freind - March 28th 2009, 07:55 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I feel like people don't realize they should tell how they feel about a person. They wait too long and sometimes its too late.

"The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive."
-- Orlando A. Battista

I hope you'll find someone new. Remember to tell everyone you love how much they mean to you before its too late.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
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Re: I really miss a freind - March 30th 2009, 03:19 PM

Hey Sophie,
I am really sorry that you lost your friend. Losing anyone close can be so difficult to deal with. But Sophie think about what your friend would want for you. He would want you to be happy and enjoying life. It is understandable that you miss him. You will always miss him because he was a special person in your life. You will never forget him, but hopefully in time it will get a bit easier to deal with.

It definitely wasn't your fault what happened. You can't be to blame in any way so please don't blame yourself. I am here if you need anything. Stay strong :-)
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MadPoet Offline
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Re: I really miss a freind - March 30th 2009, 07:40 PM

Hey Sophie.
What you're going through is not an easy thing, and it always hurts to lose someone. But I completely agree with Jen - your friend would want you to try and move on and be happy with your life, even if he is gone. Try to find someone who makes you just as happy as your friend did. You're always going to miss him occasionally, sure, but it will become easier to deal with the pain that comes when you think of him. Also, whoever has told you that this is your fault are definitely wrong. This was something that was out of your control, and should not be blamed on you, not at all.

If you ever need to chat, I'm always here. Hang in there.

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

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Just Duckie Offline
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Re: I really miss a freind - March 30th 2009, 09:21 PM

It's NEVER your fault.
Losing people close to you really make you realize to tell the people you love,that you love them when you have the chance. I've been there wishing i would have said something that i didn't and now i'll never get the chance.

Life gets that much harder, but it makes you that much stronger.Some pages turned,some bridges burned but their were lessons learned.

Everyone's life is like a song, but in the end we all sing different lyrics.
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eunoia Offline
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Re: I really miss a freind - April 1st 2009, 09:58 PM

Hey there, Sophie.

I cannot think of even one reason that someone would say this is your fault. Of course it isn't, Sophie. Our loved ones die and it is devastating, it is easy to blame ourselves or others, especially when they were so young. But nothing in this world makes you responsible for his loss. Nothing.

When we love, or even like, someone who has passed as more than a friend, I think it's different than when we lose another. Because they're gone your feelings for them may not go, with them.

Please remember that you are never alone. Reach out to people, ask them for support. This wasn't your fault, Sophie. Not at all.

I'm always here for you. Take care.

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Naomi. Offline
I've been here a while
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Re: I really miss a freind - April 11th 2009, 10:37 AM

sophie, it isnt your fault, people turn to blame someone when they are upset, it is a natural human reaction.
if he did do it to himself, you did not make him do it
tc xoxox

Dream ♥

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soul Offline
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Re: I really miss a freind - April 11th 2009, 09:45 PM

Because repetition is the father of learning I am going to repeat what everyone else has already told you; it is NOT your fault. I find it completely ridiculous that anyone would even for a second think that. Whoever told you it was your fault is obviously mistaken and I wouldn't listen to a word that comes out of their mouth. Its clear to me that all they have to say is nonsense so don't waste your time with them. It simply isn't possible for this to be your fault. It seems that people always die before we want to let them go. They leave us with unfinished business and that can be heartbreaking. You just have to believe in your heart that he knew how much you cared about him. I am sure you were a great friend and thats all that matters. You will love again just give yourself some time to heal. I am so sorry for your loss. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you. I know what its like to lose someone special. Don't hesitate to PM me I am never to busy to listen. Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi

As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
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