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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sre_uk Offline
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Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 8th 2009, 08:21 PM

Hi all, I once posted this message here but it got wiped when the website went down.


I'm doing some market research for a book that I've drafted. Have you ever wondered why some people are considered cool or cool to be around? Or what the heck defines 'cool'? Everyone has a natural desire to be liked and appreciated by others, particularly within their social network of friends.

The essence of the book is to highlight that there are universal social rules of engagement that all social groups adhere to and by focusing on real-life scenarios and anecdotes from pop culture, the book will humorously and insightfully demonstrate how people can live a happier life by being aware of the rules and no longer having to be considered a fringe member of the groups they desire to be part of.


I'm interested to see whether you think people would find this book of interest? And if not why not?


(I must stress, I'm not trying to suggest that it's the fault of the people who are being bullied or considered 'uncool'. I genuinely think I can offer some social skill secrets that ALL people from ALL walks of life and ALL ages can benefit from).

I look forward to your feedback.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 8th 2009, 09:19 PM

I wouldn't be interested, as I don't have a problem with that type of thing, but I think there are a lot of people who would be interested.

But the only 'not' is because it might be a bit embarrassing to have somebody find out you bought it.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 8th 2009, 11:56 PM

'Cool' is a word used by people to describe themselves, when they think that they are all that, basically. I suppose a book like this might help some people out, but I don't know for sure if I agree with helping people get into groups that are not accepting them. I think a lot of people might take it a step to far and completely change themselves around in order to be accepted by people around them. But that's just my personal opinion. May not even be the truth. I'd say write your book, if you feel that it could be beneficial. I'm sure to some people, it could be.





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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 9th 2009, 01:43 AM

You've drafed, what precisely does that mean?

It's a great idea for a book, plenty of people could find it useful.

For self help books the thing you have to look for is a author who knows what he's talking about. It annoys me to find people in their twenties claiming to have the answers to life.

You need to look at the author, and ask yourself. Has he/she been able to use these techniques? What type of experience does this person have that would give them knowledge in this area?

I wouldn't read a book on how to be cool by a social reject, it would have to be written by a person who is extremely cool.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 9th 2009, 08:58 AM

Nope, no interest in this book whatsoever.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 9th 2009, 01:02 PM

Thanks for the feedback guys.

If there's anyone on the forum that thinks that they'd like to be a beta test reader then let me know. But only if you think it will benefit you. I'm not interested in people who are merely curious. Thanks.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 10th 2009, 04:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YourNightmare View Post
Nope, no interest in this book whatsoever.
Stop lying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sre_uk View Post
Thanks for the feedback guys.

If there's anyone on the forum that thinks that they'd like to be a beta test reader then let me know. But only if you think it will benefit you. I'm not interested in people who are merely curious. Thanks.
Can you respond to my post, thank-you.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 10th 2009, 09:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
Stop lying.
Excuse me? I do not need some book written by some random person to tell me how to be accepted by others. I do what I want, how I want, to whoever I want, when I want and why I want.

Do you think that every single person is immediately going to jump at some book and hope they'll be "better"? That may be you, however, if you believe everyone is this way, I suggest you back up, take a look, think for a little bit then realize that's a pile of horseshit.

Oh, but guess what I found:

Quote:
I wouldn't read a book on how to be cool by a social reject
If you seriously think that reading a book is going to help you, then no matter what book you read, it won't help. There's no recipe for being "cool" or accepted. The sooner you realize that, the better you'll be.

Or maybe, it's because you may be a social reject and therefore, by some god awful logic, everyone else must be? Once again, if you need a book to learn how to be "cool" then there's not much hope for you.

If you want to discuss this further, PM me. Until then, don't go around on your high horse telling people that they're lying.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 11th 2009, 03:28 AM

Don't see an interest in this book.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 11th 2009, 03:55 AM

hmmm...not really. I bet some people would though.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 11th 2009, 07:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by YourNightmare View Post
Excuse me? I do not need some book written by some random person to tell me how to be accepted by others. I do what I want, how I want, to whoever I want, when I want and why I want.

Do you think that every single person is immediately going to jump at some book and hope they'll be "better"? That may be you, however, if you believe everyone is this way, I suggest you back up, take a look, think for a little bit then realize that's a pile of horseshit.

Oh, but guess what I found:



If you seriously think that reading a book is going to help you, then no matter what book you read, it won't help. There's no recipe for being "cool" or accepted. The sooner you realize that, the better you'll be.

Or maybe, it's because you may be a social reject and therefore, by some god awful logic, everyone else must be? Once again, if you need a book to learn how to be "cool" then there's not much hope for you.

If you want to discuss this further, PM me. Until then, don't go around on your high horse telling people that they're lying.
Damn a two word post, replied with a well researched five paragraph post.

You have some bad experience with self-help books when you were a child or something. Anyway I apologize for saying your opinion was wrong.

How can you say no self-help book can help? Look at some of Dale Carnegie's.

There are multiple recipes for being cool and accepted.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 11th 2009, 07:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
Damn a two word post, replied with a well researched five paragraph post.

You have some bad experience with self-help books when you were a child or something. Anyway I apologize for saying your opinion was wrong.

How can you say no self-help book can help? Look at some of Dale Carnegie's.

There are multiple recipes for being cool and accepted.
Researched? Do you actually know what research is or to you, is it anything remotely "complex"? No, I don't have any bad experience with them as a child. You need to quit this attempt to analyze people as you seem to have absolutely no clue as to what to do. I don't use them and I think they're rather useless because the idea of what is "cool" or what makes someone socially accepted changes so often. Go ahead, read your little books and try to use them. Assuming they even work, they will become useless rather quick and there you will be, sifting through your books trying to see what you should do to be accepted instead of just going out there. Someone's idea of social acceptance or what makes someone socially acceptable involves too many biases; it's something meant to be personal, it's meant to be "am I accepted?", not "let's see if I do all of this based on some guy's book, living through what he says, will I be accepted?".

So, if you don't like reading big "research" posts, here it is in a more simple version that hopefully you can understand and quit this psychoanalysis that you're clearly butchering up to high hell: Self-Help books on social acceptance are a waste of time, effort to read and money. If you want to be bound by your books, then have a fun life doing so.
   
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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 11th 2009, 08:13 AM

I imagine it's safe to assume that without significant background information and the knowledge of how to utilise that information, it's best we refrain from saying one is this way or that and from telling someone to stop doing such and such. It's generally better to avoid, and it's a common Psych 101 mistake (by this, I mean it can be perceived as trying to look smart and as though you're trying to flaunt a knowledge you don't know how to apply, whether or not you actually do). In any case, pointing fingers never gets anyone anywhere.

Quote:
they will become useless rather quick and there you will be, sifting through your books trying to see what you should do to be accepted instead of just going out there. Someone's idea of social acceptance or what makes someone socially acceptable involves too many biases; it's something meant to be personal, it's meant to be "am I accepted?", not "let's see if I do all of this based on some guy's book, living through what he says, will I be accepted?".

I agree with this. I think if you want to write a self-help book from your own perspective, saying this is where I'm coming from, this is my experience, this is what I learnt, and so on and so forth, great, go all out, but everyone's experiences vary so differently. I tend to dislike books that say "this is how it is and this is what you need to do" because they're generally written for a broad audience, and I find that most everything designated toward the general public is rarely ever applicable or beneficial to the specific individual.

But good luck on your endeavor, wherever you decide to go with it.

xo Claire




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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 11th 2009, 10:19 PM

Just jumping in quickly here to say, keep it nice, you guys. Stating opinions and discussing them are fine, but there's no need to get into a flame war or anything over this. Stay on topic, the OP posted about his self-help book, not about whether another member's personal opinion was right and such.



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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 12th 2009, 10:40 AM

there is a book called r u cool @ school which u might wanna look at



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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 12th 2009, 12:17 PM

lol that will sound so arrogant: "I've written the BOOK on cool!"

I read how to make friends and influence people, i imagine your book would be an age appropriate one for teenagers? I think people would go for it.


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Re: Self-Help book on being socially skilled/cool - April 13th 2009, 03:47 PM

(ForverAutum: Thanks for moving this into more general category.)

Hey all - interesting opinions here. First off, I'm aware that this book will sound arrogant but it's not my intention.

What I've obserrved with all social groups (teenage, adult) there are always people who have the mickey taken out of them constantly or more than others. There's people who strive to be cool within social groups by "arse-licking" others and my book is all about highlighting why this is never a good thing in the long run. It's not meant to be an arrogant, didactic book on how you should live your life. Think less about being cool and more about how not to be "un-cool". This is a sample chapter on how I'm aiming to deal with the author issue:

"A bit about me, your author. Iíve chosen to remain Anon. Iíve led a rich and varied life but the universal truths I want to share are more important than the life history and identity of one person on this Earth. The reason I understand the <book title> isnít because Iím some sort of special being or because Iíve been lucky. Itís because Iíve grown up with an acute sense of human behaviour and analysed the nature of social groups, able to observe why some people have the Je ne sais quoi and why the majority of people donít. Look people, I know people. Iím not saying Iím the result of millions of yearís evolutionary learning on human social existence. But Iím not saying Iím not. Iím not arrogant but Iím bold enough to say that life does occasionally throw out individuals that happen to be at the top of their game Ė look at Freud. By remaining anonymous Iím essentially saying that anyone can unlock the skills of the social rules and not just a certain few. If you knew my identity then youíd naturally look to draw comparisons and even excuses for why it might not work for you. Thatís not my intention. The contents of this book are universal and can work for all, as long as you open your mind.

I decided that the best way to tackle the <book title> within social groups and situations was to split the book into chapters. Chapters that are digestible and relevant rather than some rambling attempt at psycho-babble. The chapters are real life scenarios and situations which youíll recognise, identify with and no doubt cringe at. Most are drawn from school (university or college), socialising and working life since these are the situations where we spend most of our waking lives with friends."
   
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