TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
better-than-ecstasy's Avatar
 
Name: Rachell
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: With God on the corner of First and Amistad

Posts: 2,688
Join Date: July 22nd 2011

Too much! - November 1st 2012, 10:00 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay, I honestly never paid attention to bullying for most of my life. At least not until like sixth grade. High School hasn't been much help. And I'm bullied for the dumbest reasons. Yeah I get that what I'm bullied for isn't a big deal, but its the things the majority of the people at my school say. And each time I'm bullied, I'm told to kill myself. And here are the things I'm bullied for:

1. My Hair Color -My hair is all natural and its red. Everybody just hates "gingers" these days. So everybody that I'm not really friends with at school tells me to kill myself. Either that or they write fan fictions about red heads dying.

2. I Listen To Country Music -Everybody hates country music at my school. It is like against the law to bring up anything about country music. So they all tell me to kill myself because country music is "gay." or whatever terms they say. They say country music makes people stupid and we already have enough people like that. So whoever listens to country music should kill themselvesso there are less idiots on the planet.

3. Of course my sexuality. I'm just told to kill myself 'cause God doesn't like lesbians and its wrong and so on..... And I would get help for this one, but I can't. Because even the teachers are like against homosexuality. And in Michigan it is legal to bully others if you have a religious or moral excuse. So everybody uses the bible against me, or their religious beliefs. And the thing is though, I'm not even a lesbian. I'm bisexual.

4. My weight- People just tell me to kill myself because I'm "anorexic." which I'm not, I'm just extremely skinny. And again so on....


These things happen every single day and I'm just exaggerating on that. I really do get told to commit suicide every single day at school. Like even in band the other day I was told to kill myself because I was playing "Come Wake Me Up" by Rascal Flatts on the xylo. Not that they knew it was country music, but they were like "you're not playing it right. all you are doing is playing the same notes over and over again. Go kill yourself Rachel."

I just can't take it anymore being told to kill myself. Then they tell me to do it because I won't give them the answers to our homework just because I get straight A's. I can't deal with this anymore.

Any ideas of what I could do?


~I was always scared of everything, even the carousel.~

~Don't worry about me. I'm sort of feeling fine, but by tomorrow, I'll be back on my feet again.~

-Goodnight Tonight
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Everglow.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hollie
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 4,753
Blog Entries: 718
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: Too much! - November 2nd 2012, 11:35 AM

Hey Rachel,

I think the problem is a lot of people don't understand the effects words like 'go kill yourself' can have on a person. I've seen and heard people say it to others as a joke, or as a way of saying something like 'go away' or 'stop talking'. The thing is, the two are completely different and the meanings are nothing like each other, and so people like you have to deal with being told it every day when they probably wouldn't want you to do that at all. The words are very much underrated and they probably don't even realise that, and that's the sad part.

So, I'll go through each point and try to get as much as I can for you to help you. Having been through years of bullying myself, I know how much it hurts and I'd hate for you to have to continue to go through this just because of a few people who think they're all that.

1) Your hair colour

Personally, I love ginger hair. I think it's a really beautiful colour, and, to my knowledge at least, one of the rarest. I think it's about trying to find confidence in yourself to over come what they say about your hair. So many people these days have dyed hair anyway, so I think it's pretty great that you don't, especially when the hate (which I don't understand in the slightest) exists towards ginger hair. I can't remember where I heard this, but I heard from somwhere that in the past, ginger hair was considered very attractive. Quite a bit of art (I think, don't quote me on this) features ginger women as a result of this.

What I'm trying to say is, it's hair. Different opinions exist, but it's just hair and if people are telling you to kill yourself, or writing such things JUST because of your hair, then they can't see any further than that, and that's sad. You're a lot more than your hair, and if I were you I'd take pride in the fact that it's still natural and rare, meaning that you're pretty unique!

2) You listen to country music

Now, I'm not a country music fan. It's not hugely popular in England anyway, but I've heard bits and pieces. I know there are a lot of country fans here, though, so if you want to talk to anyone about music, why not come into the chat room sometime? I know it wont necessarily help you AT school, but it might give you some new friends who can help compensate for that. In addition, this might boost your confidence in your music taste a bit too.

On the other hand, why not ask people to check it out before they judge? Perhaps some of them will find they actually like it a bit, or even a lot. You could check out the music they like too, so that you have something to discuss. More people than you think might actually enjoy listening to the same sort of music as you! Remember though, even if people don't like it, what facts do they have to back up the idea that it makes people stupid? It's just music, it doesn't matter what they think. You listen to what you want to listen to, okay? Don't let them tell you to kill yourself over something so completely stupid. I mean, think about it this way. You're not the one telling people to commit suicide like it means nothing are you? Who's really the stupid one?

3) Your sexuality

This is a pretty common one, unfortunately. A lot of people are bullied over their sexuality. Now, obviously I'm not sure on how widely accepted LGBT is where you live, but even though it's pretty much considered 'normal' in England, there are still people who bully about it. One of my friends in high school was bullied non-stop because he 'sounded gay'. Granted, he had a feminine voice and has come to the conclusion that he's gay, he never said anything to anyone about it in high school for the reason that people would bully him for it. Even now, 2 years after coming out to me, he struggles to accept himself. But he's getting there. He has people who support him for it regardless. I am there for him, I've recently come to the conclusion that I'm bisexual myself, it's not a choice. It's who you are, and if people bully you for that, it's pathetic.

I have a few friends who are very religious in their beliefs. My school is very multi-cultural and so we have a lot of muslim students there. One of them in particular is very out going with her beliefs regarding homosexuality and bisexuality. She doesn't agree with it at all. I once mentioned a family member being gay and she replied with 'eww'. Obviously, she wasn't telling someone to kill themselves for it, but I wasn't afraid to fight back and ask her what facts she had to back up the fact that it's wrong. I mean, don't certain holy books say that you shouldn't judge? Why should she? Why should anyone? IF these people don't like the fact you're not their ideas of what is right, then they should just get on with ensuring THEY are. Make sense?

I know it's easier said than done to get on with it, but at the end of the day it's not their life. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. If they say something, ask them for facts. If they argue back, come at it with a counter argument. It's okay to question things, it's how we learn and develop views. And in regards to it being 'legal to bully if you have a moral or religious excuse', I ask you this: In what way is it AT ALL moral to tell someone to kill themselves? How is it moral for someone to have to feel awful about who they are, just because they're a little different? Go to someone and tell them anyway, they can't simply leave you to deal with it alone. You have a right to feel safe and comfortable regardless of your sexuality.


4) Your weight

The word 'anorexic' is another thing which is thrown around a lot. A lot of people think that only those who are overweight get grief, but as you know, it's not entirely true. Bullying over weight, regardless of which extreme it is, is wrong. Tell someone. They can help you. If people know, they can deal with those involved. Maybe you could set something up to help deal with bullying? It's a common thing unfortunately and perhaps setting up a group, or even a presentation, can help raise awareness and reduce the bullying that happens in your school. It could also support others who have been through similar things and give you more confidence in who you are and get you some new friends.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I wanted to basically tell you that it doesn't matter what they say. You're unique, you're you, and they're not you. So their judgements are invalid. As you get older, people mature a bit. It's a shame, bullying exists even in the work place, but it's definitely less than in the school grounds. I know it's tough right now, but you can get through this and get to a place where you're able to be you more freely. Don't listen to what they say, the 'go kill yourself' comments are pathetic on their part, not yours. So keep fighting, okay? You can get through this.

Take care,
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Honey Muffin Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Honey Muffin's Avatar
 
Name: Kamrin
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 144
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: November 5th 2012

Re: Too much! - November 10th 2012, 04:48 PM

Hi Rachel, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this at school. I know how it feels. It makes me sick that people say things like this to you. First of all, I want to say that I LOVE your red hair. It's beautiful & unique! I've gotten red highlights in my hair because I love it so much. Also, country music is amazing!! it's my favorite kind of music & Rascal Flatts are my favorite band! I've seen them twice in concert & I can't get enough of them. Please don't let them get to you. You are different & that's why they're targeting you. Stay strong & even if it bothers you, don't show it. They feed off of that. Be yourself & don't change for those jerks


When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
JustACityBoy Offline
Telemachus
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
JustACityBoy's Avatar
 
Name: Carl
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Location: New York

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 113
Join Date: January 30th 2012

Re: Too much! - November 11th 2012, 07:39 AM

Hey. I've never been verbally bullied, however, I think this has less options. What I say is very situational, and it is up to you to judge the right decision.

I know this sounds like the pussy route or something but really it's to ignore them. If it was someone physically fucking with you then you really ultimately should fuck them up also. It's what I would've done, no doubt about it.

Now, the two are very intertwined. The result of my 8th grade bully left me quite unsatisfied, I have this feeling of fucking hate and I never expressed it to him properly. Which was to kick his ass. He wasn't big either, same build and height as me. If I see him actually in a dark and misty road, I'd confront him, and if he was still a douche, I'd fight him. A fair one.

Your result in this case is really alot of shit, because you can't really fight back. I mean curse the fuck out of them, but I know that doesn't work.

I say alot of stupid things, and this may be one of them, but if I was in your situation I'd just ignore them. Rumors or shit talk just dissipates into the wide air eventually.

It may be too late to suddenly change your attitude towards them to make them stop, but it's up to you.

I don't know how bullies get the vitality to be a douche all the time, but if you are the worlds most boring person to bully, then they probably wont.

Another thing I always hear is to tell the teachers. I've never done so, nor do I have any close teachers, so I cannot relate.

Those assfucks sounds like those type of bitchy girls, that always make fun of weight. 90% of female bullying cases involves weight exaggeration, and they of course aren't true. So just fuck that. You know it's fake and who gives a tiny fuck what they think about your interest. They should be a breeze to ignore... but if they aren't we'll see then. And once they are ignored, you become the person who is boring to bully, ultimately resulting as good.


What lies ahead is unknown. However, in some times, I've sighted several smooth pavements. I myself am the mender of roads, and it is with these we work on.

Last edited by JustACityBoy; November 11th 2012 at 07:53 AM.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Lavinia Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Lavinia's Avatar
 
Age: 30
Gender: Female

Posts: 9
Join Date: November 12th 2012

Re: Too much! - November 12th 2012, 04:51 PM

Ah, nobody deserves to be told such words! What is going on with some people, I myself can't really pierce through those bullies mentality other than maybe they are either too stupid (there are so many low IQs out there, you'd be amazed), or insecure, or both! Leaving this aside, I want to congratulate you for being a person with character! You know who you are, what you like and plus you get great grades!
On a more psychological note, I'd advise you to just mind your own business and do not dwell into negative thoughts. I don't know how much of a spiritual fan you are, but even though I am a christian (sort of, not that sure anymore), I love saying mantras. I have felt that their vibrations can rewire my psychological state from negative to positive in just a session. Removes my anger so well. And I just get them from Youtube.

And do not focus on such people. More you think about how bad they are, more you get trapped into such thinking. Just think that they are what they are, sorry for them to be so stupid. And move on. Key is to just quit thinking about them at all. And when you meet new people if you feel that they are possible new bullies, just smile politely, as if you are a girl of good upbringing. I mean it, my evergreen tactic is to just behave as if i've had a great/posh upbringing, treating my possible future enemies with elegant detachment and lots of polite smiles, and casual interactions (I don't overdo it, lol). I try to make them confused about what they believe I feel for them. It will make them absolutely perplexed, trust me. And they will not know how to criticize you, because you are so damn well behaved and sensible. Key is to show as little feelings of pain as possible(to such bullies) and to behave as if you don't care about them. If they happen to say something funny or do something cool, you might want to congratulate them or say "that was funny" or "well done", then cut it short and walk away, just to enforce the idea that you have no feelings attached to them. And hopefully, they will stop and you have just gained more experience this way. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart. If you manage, you are true star! Lots of love xxxxxxx

PS: there is a site 9gag.com which features many "just kill yourself/kill yourself" jokes. It is funny in a website joke/meme, but I have never thought that anybody would be so retarded to apply these jokes in real life like that. Gosh.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
JustACityBoy Offline
Telemachus
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
JustACityBoy's Avatar
 
Name: Carl
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Location: New York

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 113
Join Date: January 30th 2012

Re: Too much! - November 12th 2012, 05:44 PM

You know, another thing I'd like to add is the longer term affects.
Really the best long term affect is to stand up to them, but it's the most risky cause its a gang vs 1.

Like I stated, I feel like a pussy at times cause of that shithead. But in a way, I learned how to combat against bullying as well. I have a completely new attitude in 9th grade.
completely circumstantial, act as you please.


What lies ahead is unknown. However, in some times, I've sighted several smooth pavements. I myself am the mender of roads, and it is with these we work on.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
BDF Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
BDF's Avatar
 
Name: BDF
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: Europe

Posts: 2,523
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 28th 2009

Re: Too much! - November 13th 2012, 09:51 PM

Next time they tell you to kill yourself, tell them to fuck themselves. Unless you were brought up nicely, then you can tell them to screw themselves.

I never had people telling me to kill myself often. But when they did I'd usually throw that 1 line text at them and ignore them from then on.

Did it "improve" things... not necessarily. Although it felt good to mouth back like that once, say what I have to say and move on.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: Too much! - November 14th 2012, 08:48 AM

Hey there, I have been physically, verbally, and emotionally bullied and it isn't nice. Don't snap back at them, it'll give them more ammunition, don't punch them either (been there, lost that... I had a gang meet up with me, wasn't pretty), just walk away if you can or turn the other way.
They are probably jealous!
My best friend has red hair, nobody picks on her for it, I love red as a hair colour personally, I wish I had the guts to dye my hair red but I'm afraid it may go bright orange or blood red... Haha, but, the weight issue most definately they would be jealous. The killing yourself remarks are stupid, I have only had two males say that the world would be better off if I was dead and I screamed at them to shut the fuck up.. Didn't give me the desired reaction. So, all you can do is either when they are picking on your for anything to go to somebody and tell them, remind yourself that these people don't know what they are talking about, and to walk away if you can.

Stay strong, gorgeous,

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
BDF Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
BDF's Avatar
 
Name: BDF
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: Europe

Posts: 2,523
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 28th 2009

Re: Too much! - November 14th 2012, 05:01 PM

Btw I think ginger hair is great. It's boring to be the same as everyone else. With enough guts and self-confidence anyone can look good with ginger hair.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.