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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Name: rusher
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the troubled girl - November 5th 2012, 08:16 PM

There's this girl, Jennifer that I used to be friends with. She was manipulative, wild and a gambler. My best friend sort of had a crush on her until she decided to smash up his house. That was when he stopped liking her entirely and blanked her until we ended up leaving school. As for me, I never did really like Jennifer. She hits, mocks and bullies people and plays with her emotions just to get her own way.

Eventually, she must have pissed off the wrong person because she ended up getting suspended right before we had our trip. That was for about 30 days so Gary and I never saw her again. Plus, Jennifer's family moved to some house on the other side of town so I didn't think I would see the evil bitch again, right?

Apparently, somebody up there hates me because not only is Jennifer now at my school but she's also in most of my classes. This means for almost 7 hours a day for 5 days a week, I have to deal with her gambling, lying, bullying and manipulating. You think after the confrontation back in June that she would have learned to stop doing this stuff. But, she didn't so I'm just trying to stay as far away from her as possible.

But that doesn't seem to work. She seems to get me involved in everything that she jacks up. And then after a long week of peace where I just ignore her and pretend she doesn't exist, she decides to go and bitch to her friends about how I'm beating her up (?!) and that I conned her out of her money. Why does fate do this to me?

So what should I do? Any advice?
   
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Re: the troubled girl - November 5th 2012, 09:12 PM

Hi Rusher.

There could be any number of reasons why she behaves the way, and I'm not even going to breach that realm of possibilities with any theories; I don't know enough and I'm not at all qualified.

But this is obviously disruptive to your life, and that's what seems to be your main concern. So I'd suggest that you start out by biting the bullet and speaking with your counselor about what's happening here, not necessarily because you need them to intervene (just be clear as to what you want out of the conversation, and what you don't) but to have some sort of official record of the things she does or the lies she's involved you in. If you don't make anyone in a position of trust at your school aware of all of this, it's possible that she'll move from spreading lies about you to her friends to spreading lies about you to teachers or faculty, at which point you'll have another problem altogether.

As for the issue at hand, why not talk to her or confront her about it? (I'd do this following the counselor visit, just in case her retaliation includes more of the aforementioned lies- and tell the counselor that you plan on talking to her) Tell her that since you obviously can't be friends, she needs to leave you completely out of her activities. If she says she wants to be friends, instead of telling her no, I personally would just tell her to prove it; who knows, there's a chance that it might work out if she tries, and a chance that saying no will put her in even more of a tizzy. If she taunts or waves that away, maybe just tell her to stop stalking you. People generally don't like to appear this way.

Best of everything,

Lux
   
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