TeenHelp - My friend is being bullied

Hey there,

With bullying, there generally comes a point when it's time to involve an adult, because it's gotten too out of control or too bad to handle on your own anymore. A lot of people don't want to report bullying because they are afraid of being a "tattletale," but if your friend is going home crying, I think it's time to do something about it. It's great that you want to help! :)

Have you suggested to your friend that she talk to someone? If not, I think this is the first thing you should do. Just encourage her to get some help with this. Maybe she could talk to her parents, a teacher, the principal, or the school counselor. Keep in mind, she may initially refuse to do this, thinking that the bullying might get worse if she reports it. But keep encouraging her! If she's really worried about "getting caught," maybe she could leave an anonymous note on a teacher's desk after class, saying something like, "Hi Mr./Ms. _____, I have witnessed [bully's name] bullying [your friend's name, or just say "someone"] and I'm starting to get really worried. I was hoping you could do something about this before [friend's name or "someone"] gets hurt." That way, no one would know who reported the bullying, but the school would have enough information to confront the bully. And believe it or not, school personnel know that students want to keep these things confidential, and they won't go blabbing it around, like, "Hey, so-and-so just reported you." I'm sure they'll keep everything as confidential as they can.

If your friend seriously does not want to report this, then it's your job as her friend to do something about it. If this happens, I recommend that you tell her parents what's going on. They can then decide what they want to do about it. However, if a situation comes up and the bullying needs to stop RIGHT AWAY, don't be afraid to go ahead and report it to someone at school. Your friend might be mad for a while, but she'll thank you later.

Good luck with this! You're a great friend. :)

~Hailey