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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
thestorysofar- Offline
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Name: Ally
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Unhappy So it's high school.... - July 25th 2013, 06:53 AM

Okay, well I'm going into high school next month. I've been waiting a long time for this, but now it's actually here, I'm terrified. I'm scared because I know for a fact I'm going to be around people who have had sex and have smoked. I know this because when I moved to the area I'm in right now, a lot of people told me who the junkies were, who the smokers were. Everything. I'm scared that I'm going to get sucked into the madness of peer pressure. I've told myself I'm not going to and to be true to myself, but I don't know what'll happen in the future. And I don't want to lose my virginity either. The thought of getting peer pressured into that scares me a lot. Any advice as to not giving into all of that stuff? Thanks..
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So it's high school.... - July 25th 2013, 10:28 AM

Hey there Ally,

Yup, high school can have a lot of impact on us. We can choose not to let it affect us. If you're determined not to be influenced by it, then you don't have to let it affect you. The word "No" never stops being a choice. You can say no. Don't you worry about what anyone else says. They can try to force you, but put your foot down if you feel like you're being pressured into something, alright?

You'll learn that not all people want to drink or smoke or whatever it is. The "cool" people may try and pressure you into it, but if that's what it means to be cool, I'm sure you'll be okay with not being part of their group?

Just know that you can always say no, and your friends will respect you for that. If they push off just because you say no, then maybe the friendship was just skin-deep. You'll be alright.

Best of luck with school!
Take care x


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So it's high school.... - July 25th 2013, 04:35 PM

Hey Ally!

I agree, that high school is a scary place. I don't mean to scare you or anything, but the way to survive is just to focus on yourself, your goals, and your future. Believe it or not, it's basically four important years of your life that will determine your future. If you get into a situation of drugs, sex, alcohol, etc., just as Kaveri said, say "no" or if you are a good excuse maker, you can make up an excuse and walk away. Anyways, peer pressure is sometimes a hard thing to stay out of especially when you are seeing it everywhere. My personal favorite way to avoid it is just tell yourself that you're a lot better person that those people who literally can't make up their mind, so they follow what someone else thinks it right. Another thing that might come up a lot is other people trying to make your decisions-don't let them do that to you. You are smart enough to know yourself well and do what's right! Well I hope this helps, and good luck to you at school

~Rishy


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madness is genius;
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So it's high school.... - July 27th 2013, 03:13 PM

Hey there, Ally!

I agree with Rishy and Kaveri. I will acknowledge that the transition to high school can be pretty scary. The truth is, some of your peers will do stuff you will not want to get involved in, but does that mean you have to?

If I'm honest, I commend you. Your attitude is remarkable for that of a 14-year-old heading in to high school. You know what you want, and you know you don't want to follow your peers into such undesirable activities as those you mentioned in your post. So, you shouldn't have too much trouble sticking to that.

Like RIshy said, focus on yourself and your own goals. As important as being "cool" or part of a clique may seem when you're in high school, once you leave high school, it's nothing, forgotten about. I wish you the best of luck! Judging by this post, I reckon you'll be able to get the most out of high school without getting into trouble.

~ Gareth
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So it's high school.... - July 27th 2013, 07:21 PM

Hey there,

Let me start by telling you that everyone has these fears when they start high school. It's completely natural to be worried about this stuff when you're going to be in a new environment with new people. But, the great thing about high school is that you will find lots of different types of people. From personal experience, people tend to form friendship groups with people interested in similar things to them. So the smokers may be friends with other smokers (not necessarily since smoking is a fairly common thing to do these days), and those who don't smoke may be friends with each other. To be completely honest though, I don't think you'll have too much trouble with the peer pressure. I know I didn't. I think these days, people just smoke. In TV shows and films, there is a lot of commotion over peer pressuring people into sex and smoking, but I don't think, at least I've never heard of, it being as bad as that makes out. My friends and I have never had any problems with that sort of thing. Alcohol is something that is harder to avoid the peer pressure of however, so I'll give you a few ideas as to how to avoid peer pressure generally.

First of all, saying no is not a bad thing. It doesn't make you weak, or uncool, or anything that people might try to claim it does. You do not have to do anything you don't want to. Smoking is a harmful behaviour which is not for everyone. It can and does lead to health problems, and it is addictive. Wanting to say no is okay.

Also, anyone who refuses to be your friend, or claims you are anything bad simply for saying no, was never a friend to begin with. As I said before, high school has a variety of people, not just the smokers, or people who have sex, and go to parties and all of that. There will be people who accept that you don't want to do any of that, and they will be the people you'll be comfortable around. Real friends will accept you as you are, with and without any habits you have or do not want. Don't be pulled into the trap of giving in just because people wont be your friend otherwise.

Finally, if you feel like you're going to give in, or people are giving you problems because you say no, never be afraid to tell someone. Peer pressuring someone into doing something can be stressful and upsetting, and thus can be classified as bullying if it is consistent. If this happens, tell a teacher or a parent or something. That doesn't make you weak either. You're within your rights to say no, and that's okay. What isn't okay, is people making you feel bad for it. You're your own person, and you don't need to give into their pressure, so tell someone if it gets too much.

In all honesty though, anxiety about high school is common and natural, and when you get there you'll probably find that the worry was over mostly nothing. Go there with the desire to make friends who will appreciate you for you, talk to people, get to know them, and decide who you want to have in your life. Remember, these times are supposed to be happy. You will get stressed and there may be problems, but if you have the right support (i.e. teachers who are willing to listen), you'll be just fine. Don't be afraid to say no, or to be your own person.

I hope this helped a bit.
Take care, and good luck!
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: So it's high school.... - July 28th 2013, 05:39 PM

Hey Ally, high school can be intimidating and scary, but it's really not as bad as everyone makes it sound. There will be people who do things that you don't agree with or that you don't want to do, but that doesn't mean that you have to do them, or that you will even be pressured into it. I was never pressured into anything, maybe I just got lucky. What makes you think that you will cave under the pressure?

You will find friends who are similar to you who don't do any of the stuff you don't want to do, you might find each other just because you're trying to avoid the same things. It might help to come up with a go to response in case you do get offered something or pressured into something. Most of the time once you say no they'll leave it alone but, if someone is persistent and won't back off or leave it alone, then have a plan for how to leave a situation.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
thestorysofar- Offline
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Re: So it's high school.... - July 30th 2013, 11:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Concrete Angel View Post
Hey there Ally,

Yup, high school can have a lot of impact on us. We can choose not to let it affect us. If you're determined not to be influenced by it, then you don't have to let it affect you. The word "No" never stops being a choice. You can say no. Don't you worry about what anyone else says. They can try to force you, but put your foot down if you feel like you're being pressured into something, alright?

You'll learn that not all people want to drink or smoke or whatever it is. The "cool" people may try and pressure you into it, but if that's what it means to be cool, I'm sure you'll be okay with not being part of their group?

Just know that you can always say no, and your friends will respect you for that. If they push off just because you say no, then maybe the friendship was just skin-deep. You'll be alright.

Best of luck with school!
Take care x
I've never been apart of the "cool" group, and I'm more than happy not to be apart of their group. And thank you for the advice
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
thestorysofar- Offline
defend pop punk
Not a n00b
**
 
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Name: Ally
Age: 19
Gender: Female

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Join Date: July 14th 2013

Re: So it's high school.... - July 30th 2013, 11:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Excelsior View Post
Hey there,

Let me start by telling you that everyone has these fears when they start high school. It's completely natural to be worried about this stuff when you're going to be in a new environment with new people. But, the great thing about high school is that you will find lots of different types of people. From personal experience, people tend to form friendship groups with people interested in similar things to them. So the smokers may be friends with other smokers (not necessarily since smoking is a fairly common thing to do these days), and those who don't smoke may be friends with each other. To be completely honest though, I don't think you'll have too much trouble with the peer pressure. I know I didn't. I think these days, people just smoke. In TV shows and films, there is a lot of commotion over peer pressuring people into sex and smoking, but I don't think, at least I've never heard of, it being as bad as that makes out. My friends and I have never had any problems with that sort of thing. Alcohol is something that is harder to avoid the peer pressure of however, so I'll give you a few ideas as to how to avoid peer pressure generally.

First of all, saying no is not a bad thing. It doesn't make you weak, or uncool, or anything that people might try to claim it does. You do not have to do anything you don't want to. Smoking is a harmful behaviour which is not for everyone. It can and does lead to health problems, and it is addictive. Wanting to say no is okay.

Also, anyone who refuses to be your friend, or claims you are anything bad simply for saying no, was never a friend to begin with. As I said before, high school has a variety of people, not just the smokers, or people who have sex, and go to parties and all of that. There will be people who accept that you don't want to do any of that, and they will be the people you'll be comfortable around. Real friends will accept you as you are, with and without any habits you have or do not want. Don't be pulled into the trap of giving in just because people wont be your friend otherwise.

Finally, if you feel like you're going to give in, or people are giving you problems because you say no, never be afraid to tell someone. Peer pressuring someone into doing something can be stressful and upsetting, and thus can be classified as bullying if it is consistent. If this happens, tell a teacher or a parent or something. That doesn't make you weak either. You're within your rights to say no, and that's okay. What isn't okay, is people making you feel bad for it. You're your own person, and you don't need to give into their pressure, so tell someone if it gets too much.

In all honesty though, anxiety about high school is common and natural, and when you get there you'll probably find that the worry was over mostly nothing. Go there with the desire to make friends who will appreciate you for you, talk to people, get to know them, and decide who you want to have in your life. Remember, these times are supposed to be happy. You will get stressed and there may be problems, but if you have the right support (i.e. teachers who are willing to listen), you'll be just fine. Don't be afraid to say no, or to be your own person.

I hope this helped a bit.
Take care, and good luck!
Hollie.
This helped a lot. Thank you so much!!
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
thestorysofar- Offline
defend pop punk
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Re: So it's high school.... - July 30th 2013, 11:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oracle. View Post
Hey there, Ally!

I agree with Rishy and Kaveri. I will acknowledge that the transition to high school can be pretty scary. The truth is, some of your peers will do stuff you will not want to get involved in, but does that mean you have to?

If I'm honest, I commend you. Your attitude is remarkable for that of a 14-year-old heading in to high school. You know what you want, and you know you don't want to follow your peers into such undesirable activities as those you mentioned in your post. So, you shouldn't have too much trouble sticking to that.

Like RIshy said, focus on yourself and your own goals. As important as being "cool" or part of a clique may seem when you're in high school, once you leave high school, it's nothing, forgotten about. I wish you the best of luck! Judging by this post, I reckon you'll be able to get the most out of high school without getting into trouble.

~ Gareth
Thank you
   
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