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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Himitsu Offline
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How do I get her out of my head??!? - August 6th 2013, 09:10 PM

I've posted part of this story in another forum, but I need some different advice. Back in middle school, this girl I was friends with convinced me to self harm (she literally handed me a knife and shoved me into the bathroom stall). After I did it a few times she used the marks to manipulate me into doing certain things for her or she'd report me. I got addicted to the SH though and kept with her even though I didn't like it. She'd hit me too if I pissed her off. My friends eventually found out about the problem and got me away from her. But she still goes to my school and I see her in classes, even have to work with her. I've survived a year of it, but I can't say even a word to her.
Just today in the car my mom mentioned running into this girl at school and talking to her and her dad briefly. (My mom knows what happened, so I don't know why she would even bring this up) The second she said this girl's name I honestly felt like I had been punched in the gut, figurative language aside. I tried to respond normally but I felt physically sick.
I really need some way to forget her and move on since I'll have to see her for years. I feel like if I even talk to her I'll get sick. Not to mention she's always shooting me looks and smirking. help.
   
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Re: How do I get her out of my head??!? - August 7th 2013, 05:16 PM

Hi Yuki!

I've been in kind of a similar situation, and I think it's best that you stay away from her. I'm really glad that your mom knows about this, and that your friends protected you from her. However, is she still doing that to you? If she is, I think you should report it to the school, maybe try emailing your school counselor or whoever is in charge of action and discipline at your school and tell her about this if the girl is manipulating you too much at school. About forgetting her - honestly, that's going to take a lot of time. Forgetting hurtful situations like that is pretty difficult, but often times, its easier to come out and talk about it with someone. You could try keeping yourself busy by other activities such as sports or hobbies. The more you try to not think about it, the better you will be in "forgetting" her. If you want to talk to me more about this, feel free to VM/PM me anytime! I hope this helps, I'm really sorry to hear you've been through something like that. You don't deserve it at all!

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Re: How do I get her out of my head??!? - August 8th 2013, 05:47 PM

Hey Yuki.
I absolutely agree with Rishy.
But I'm gonna add something: Try to forgive that girl. Choose to forgive her. If you let all the bitterness go, it will be much easier to forget what she did. I don't think you'll completely forget, but if you forgive, you should be able to look back and shrug it off. If you harbor hatred for this girl, she will never leave your mind. Kinda like how revenge can drive people utterly insane. I'm not saying you're revenge-crazed or anything, but forgiving her will help a bunch.
God bless you.
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Re: How do I get her out of my head??!? - August 15th 2013, 02:35 AM

Wow that's horrible. Only I real messed person would feel pleasure in doing that to a so called "friend" but that's what manipulators are. I applaud you're other friends for being good friends for getting you away from her. I also applaud you for keeping your cool around her cause for some other people they would be bashing her head in by now. Besides doing what you're already doing I can only think of still not acknowledging her or maybe getting some type of closure. Maybe forgiving her will give you the closure you need (if you wanna give a bigger person approach) or doing something to mortify her to give her a taste of her own medicine. It's up to you. Which ever one you choose I sincerely hope it helps you move through that traumatic point in your life.
<33
   
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Re: How do I get her out of my head??!? - August 15th 2013, 02:36 AM

Btw my phone just made all types of hideous grammar typos , so sorry for that.
*facepalm*
   
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Re: How do I get her out of my head??!? - August 28th 2013, 07:25 PM

Hi Yuki,

You really went through a tough time with her. It must have been very unpleasant and I'm glad you have at least some distance from her.

I noticed from your post that you said you couldn't speak to her and that similarly, you didn't mention to your mum that you don't want to hear about the girl. How would you feel about telling your mum how you feel, and more than this - telling her that you'd like to introduce a boundary: for her not to talk to you about this girl or her family (if you also don't want to hear about the family. The extent if this boundary is up to you).

I just wonder how it would feel for you if you defined to her that there is something specific you don't want to happen.

Last edited by Satine; August 28th 2013 at 07:28 PM. Reason: Added final sentence
   
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Re: How do I get her out of my head??!? - August 28th 2013, 09:10 PM

yuki,
wow thats really horrible, i dont understand how someone could do that to someone and live with themselves well done for staying so strong, if it was me i probably woudnt've been able to cope! your friends who got u out of them must be so so nice, you said that you kind of got hooked? does that mean you still selfharm? if you do i suggest talking to someone, ill always be here to help... because sh on top of all that with this girl would probably make it worse. As for forgetting about her, you wont be able just to forget, as you'll see her for four years, but like others have suggested forgiving might be an idea, or you could talk to teachers and get them to keep an eye on this girl
hope it all works out well for you <3
daniela xxx
   
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Re: How do I get her out of my head??!? - September 8th 2013, 07:21 PM

I believe you should report her. Tell the teachers she made you self harm. It's not right what she did. She's a bully, and it's wrong. She needs to be taught a lesson. Report her and stop it before it's too late




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