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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jess~ Offline
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I should really learn to keep my mouth shut... - September 5th 2014, 05:31 AM

It's a long story; but long story short...

-I had a guy friend last school year
-I ended up liking him
-I no longer like him at ALL anymore (at least, that's what I tell people)
-and...today this happened...

So I was in my last class of the day, when I noticed that my old guy friend wasn't in class, so I asked one of his friends (a girl) if he went home early, and why. She said she didn't know why, but then she turned to my friend, I'll call her Em, and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" And they got all girly for a second. They passed a few notes and whispered/gestured some things that I couldn't quite catch.
After the other girl walked away, I asked Em what the heck that was all about, and she kept it from me for a few minutes before telling me that, obviously, the other girl thought that I had a crush on this guy, whom I'll call Chase.

So I told Em to tell the other girl that I did not like Chase, because I knew that she would freaking tell him if I did.
So after class, those two were talking, and Em told her. But then the other girl turned to me and said, "Yes you do, I can see it." She then explained how she's an "expert" in knowing things like that, and that she knows if people like someone before they even know they like that person.

Now, when I have a crush on somebody, I almost never tell anybody. Unless I totally, 100% trust them to not tell anyone else about it. But even then, it's extremely hard for them to get it out of me.
But it's hard to keep all your secrets in, without telling anyone. It's human nature to tell at least someone, and that's why I keep a journal and consult the internet a lot. Because it's like I'm telling someone, without the risk of anyone finding out.

So eventually, I cracked. Actually, I wouldn't say I really cracked, because I was doing an awesome job of lying through my teeth in a calm voice and saying that there was no way in hell I had ever liked that guy. I guess I chose to tell her, just a little bit, because I guess I had just kept the secret inside for too long.
I rolled my eyes and said, "Fine, okay, well...the thing is, I used to like him, but I dON'T anymore..."
I freaking made that girl promise to NEVER tell Chase.
And she swore, she wouldn't.

Well guess what?
Not more than a minute later, I saw her talking to a girl who's friends with both her and Chase. I did a quick walk-by to try and hear what they were talking about, and I heard my name multiple times.
After that, I backed away and watched my life basically end, as the girl that Loudmouth was talking to made faces at me and just gawked at me.
Her expressions looked somewhere in between "shocked", "pissed", "horrified", and somewhat "jealousy".
This girl has already had a tough time with guys, (haven't we all?) like having other girls "steal" them from her. So I'm just wondering if maybe there was an off chance that she liked Chase too. And if that's the case, and if that's why she was giving me the death stare, then whatever. Only the slightest bit of me still likes him...it's called "killing a crush", there's always gonna be just the tiniest part that still exists. All I want from him now is to get our friendship back, which I don't know how to do. (i made another thread on that...)

So I don't care if this girl... or really, either of these girls, likes Chase. I know that anyone would say that, but I really don't care. I'm over it, all I want is his friendship back.
But what I'm really freaking worried about is if either of these girls tells Chase that I liked him. Things are already extremely awkward and bad between us, and I am certain that this would end our relationship once and for all.


So I guess I just need advice on what to do now... I wish desperately that I could change the past, because I always fall for retarded stuff like this.

How do I deal with the possible rumors and drama that may come of this?

Should I say anything to either of those girls or Chase? I could have my friend carry a message for me..?

How do I fix this?
I'm really scared right now, honestly.
Please, wish me luck, and keep me in hopes/prayers.

Thanks for reading~


EDIT: Also, from what I posted above (which is my observation of the situation -- could be exactly what it looks like or not at all like that), does it sound like the girl was gossiping about me? I mean, I could've just imagined I heard my name...right? Maybe?? And maybe the girl was just looking at me because I was looking at her?? Ugh, this is all so confusing. :'c


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Last edited by Jess~; September 6th 2014 at 04:12 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I should really learn to keep my mouth shut... - September 5th 2014, 07:48 AM

I'm really sorry that's happened! It sucks so much when people tell others things that they've promised not to tell. You could try waiting it out and seeing what happens, like maybe no one will tell Chase or anybody else. Or maybe you could try talking it out with Chase? Or maybe talking to that other girl? I'm not sure honestly, I'm sorry.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I should really learn to keep my mouth shut... - September 5th 2014, 01:18 PM

Hmm. Well if i was in a situation like that, and if things got like it (i think i was in a situation like that few years ago), I'd do whats best. Ignore it. Those are just some rumours tbh. People like to gossip. Its a flaw, but it destinguishes the good people from the bad people. Obviosuly, youre surrounded with people who are really nosy. So dont be surrounded by jerks. Find normal friends, or dont have them at all, because friends like Em and whatever is the name of that bitch, will only influence badly on you.
And if it gets to Chase, it gets to Chase. It will probably get to him, but then you have a choice. You wanna mend the tides and get things right by talking to him or do you want to suffer because someone was too nosy and hurt your feelings because they are an asshole? Your choice.

Id just ignore it and be honest. Thats what i did. I had a crush on... Anna. Lets say Anna.
When people came to my desk during a break and asked me if i had a crush on Anna, Id say yes, but not anymore, if that was the truth. If they asked aditional questions, id ignore them. Let them gossip, its the only thing they can do in their miserable lives. It makes them feel important but at the end, they are just nosy people with nothing better to do. You will be the center of drama and gossip for a few days or weeks, but then when people see youre ignoring them, they will fuck off and leave you to your business.
That is, if you dont spill the beans again.
From time to time you gotta be strong. You gotta fix your shit alone and without help of others.
This is a perfect opportinity to see if you can be confident, independent and responsible. And act as an adult, of course.
Good luck, and dont let your emotions get the better of you in the process. Trust me, it gets even worse if they do get the better of you.

Stay strong!
   
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Re: I should really learn to keep my mouth shut... - September 5th 2014, 07:30 PM

Sorry to hear what's happening...
If I were you, I'd do it the simple way:
- Ignore Mrs big-mouth. If you keep going to her saying "No, I don't like Chase, please don't go to him! No, I don't like him! Please, DON'T GO AND TELL HIM I DO, because I don't! No, I swear I don't... etc. etc.", you're just egging her on to bitch to people about your so-called "love" for Chase. If you stop being het up about it, then she'll probably get bored and forget about the whole thing. If she persists, then just be strong and ignore her.
- Ignore the multiple-expression girl, because it's likely that if you forget about the whole thing, she will as well. If she ever comes up to you saying stuff like "You stole my crush, you bitch, I'm gonna beat you up blablabla...", then there's a very simple way to respond. Just say: "Well, it's just as well that I don't actually have a crush on Chase, isn't it? It'd be the bloody Third World War!"
- If Mrs big-mouth leaks the news to Chase that you still "love" him, and if he then comes up to you and tells you what big-mouth told him, then just explain to him that No, you don't love him, you just like him as a friend. And things should sort themselves out.

Hope this helps


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Re: I should really learn to keep my mouth shut... - September 6th 2014, 12:49 AM

I definitely understand where you're coming from about journaling and looking online for advice. It's nice to be able to get things out and tell someone indirectly without really telling them. If you ever want to get some stuff off of your chest you can always blog on here. If you're uncomfortable with people seeing your posts, you can set your blog to private; only people on your friends list and the blog Moderators can view it. You're welcome to PM me too.

You might be skeptical about confiding in people after this situation but not everyone will do what this girl did. There are people who are good at keeping things like this to themselves and I suggest confiding in someone when you feel comfortable doing so when needed.

As for what to do with Chase, I think you should act just as you normally do around him. I feel like if you suddenly change your behavior, he will know that something's up. And as for everyone else, I agree with what has already been said as far as ignoring them goes. People gossip because they don't have anything else to do and gossip is just gossip. It goes from one person to another, the phrases and words change as it gets passed around and eventually people will move onto something different.


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Jess~ Offline
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Re: I should really learn to keep my mouth shut... - September 6th 2014, 05:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillibette View Post
I'm really sorry that's happened! It sucks so much when people tell others things that they've promised not to tell. You could try waiting it out and seeing what happens, like maybe no one will tell Chase or anybody else. Or maybe you could try talking it out with Chase? Or maybe talking to that other girl? I'm not sure honestly, I'm sorry.
I'm not sure I could talk it out with him, because I'm not even sure of who really knows about it at this point. I won't go back to school until Tuesday...a lot can get around by then. Maybe by Tuesday, it'll be too late to talk to him.
I might try talking to the other girl, though. We had a back to school night the evening after this all happened, and I gave that girl a few stares. So hopefully she knows that I know what she said..?
Thanks for the advice. It really means a lot that you took the time to answer my questions. c:

Quote:
Originally Posted by 8!n4ry8unny View Post
Hmm. Well if i was in a situation like that, and if things got like it (i think i was in a situation like that few years ago), I'd do whats best. Ignore it. Those are just some rumours tbh. People like to gossip. Its a flaw, but it destinguishes the good people from the bad people. Obviosuly, youre surrounded with people who are really nosy. So dont be surrounded by jerks. Find normal friends, or dont have them at all, because friends like Em and whatever is the name of that bitch, will only influence badly on you.
And if it gets to Chase, it gets to Chase. It will probably get to him, but then you have a choice. You wanna mend the tides and get things right by talking to him or do you want to suffer because someone was too nosy and hurt your feelings because they are an asshole? Your choice.

Id just ignore it and be honest. Thats what i did. I had a crush on... Anna. Lets say Anna.
When people came to my desk during a break and asked me if i had a crush on Anna, Id say yes, but not anymore, if that was the truth. If they asked aditional questions, id ignore them. Let them gossip, its the only thing they can do in their miserable lives. It makes them feel important but at the end, they are just nosy people with nothing better to do. You will be the center of drama and gossip for a few days or weeks, but then when people see youre ignoring them, they will fuck off and leave you to your business.
That is, if you dont spill the beans again.
From time to time you gotta be strong. You gotta fix your shit alone and without help of others.
This is a perfect opportinity to see if you can be confident, independent and responsible. And act as an adult, of course.
Good luck, and dont let your emotions get the better of you in the process. Trust me, it gets even worse if they do get the better of you.

Stay strong!
Em is actually a pretty good friend, and she's one of the few people who I can trust with stuff like this. But yeah, that other chick is not my friend. The only reason I even talked to her was to ask where Chase had gone...and now I feel like a freaking idiot for that.

About talking to Chase to smooth things over...well, that's just where my dilemma starts. See, Chase and I aren't really such good friends anymore...something happened last year that even I can't explain, because I really don't know, and we stopped talking for some reason. Now, we just share awkward glances and stares from across campus. We haven't spoken at all this school year. I wouldn't even know how to go about walking up and talking to him. He has a new group of "bad" friends, and if I walk up to him while he's with them, they'll make fun of me. (they've done that in the past, as a lot of those people don't particularly like me. )
I just really don't want to lose his friendship entirely over something as stupid as gossip and drama.
So I will take your advice. If anyone asks, I'll tell them the truth.
I know that, in the future, this event won't mean a thing. It probably won't make an impact on my college life or anything beyond that.
But as for my life now, it will very much so impact it. And I just feel like this whole thing is all my fault...because it is, right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyline View Post
Sorry to hear what's happening...
If I were you, I'd do it the simple way:
- Ignore Mrs big-mouth. If you keep going to her saying "No, I don't like Chase, please don't go to him! No, I don't like him! Please, DON'T GO AND TELL HIM I DO, because I don't! No, I swear I don't... etc. etc.", you're just egging her on to bitch to people about your so-called "love" for Chase. If you stop being het up about it, then she'll probably get bored and forget about the whole thing. If she persists, then just be strong and ignore her.
- Ignore the multiple-expression girl, because it's likely that if you forget about the whole thing, she will as well. If she ever comes up to you saying stuff like "You stole my crush, you bitch, I'm gonna beat you up blablabla...", then there's a very simple way to respond. Just say: "Well, it's just as well that I don't actually have a crush on Chase, isn't it? It'd be the bloody Third World War!"
- If Mrs big-mouth leaks the news to Chase that you still "love" him, and if he then comes up to you and tells you what big-mouth told him, then just explain to him that No, you don't love him, you just like him as a friend. And things should sort themselves out.

Hope this helps
Are you sure that if I forget it, they will too? I'm just nervous that they won't just "forget about it" and move on, and that they'll keep this thing going as long as they can. This year is a lot more different than sophomore year, because a lot of people have matured and grown up from the littler kids we were when we started freshman year. But there are still a few people who are obsessed with the drama, and unfortunately that's these two girls. So I think that if they get a chance to create drama, they're going to make it last.
The worst part is, besides the fact that Chase and I don't really speak anymore, so I doubt he'd talk to me about the rumors he's heard. He'd probably instead just believe what he heard and avoid me for the rest of the year.
But the worst part might just be that I do sort of still like him... So as if all of this wasn't hard enough to deal with, the fact that the rumor may be slightly true...um...yeah...
But thank you for the awesome advice. I'll definitely keep it in mind, if these people do try to talk to me. :/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Idyllic. View Post
I definitely understand where you're coming from about journaling and looking online for advice. It's nice to be able to get things out and tell someone indirectly without really telling them. If you ever want to get some stuff off of your chest you can always blog on here. If you're uncomfortable with people seeing your posts, you can set your blog to private; only people on your friends list and the blog Moderators can view it. You're welcome to PM me too.

You might be skeptical about confiding in people after this situation but not everyone will do what this girl did. There are people who are good at keeping things like this to themselves and I suggest confiding in someone when you feel comfortable doing so when needed.

As for what to do with Chase, I think you should act just as you normally do around him. I feel like if you suddenly change your behavior, he will know that something's up. And as for everyone else, I agree with what has already been said as far as ignoring them goes. People gossip because they don't have anything else to do and gossip is just gossip. It goes from one person to another, the phrases and words change as it gets passed around and eventually people will move onto something different.
Thanks, it's always great to know that I have someone to talk to. c:

Yeah, my friend Em that I was talking about is someone that I really trust with stuff like this. She's never told anyone any of the things I've said not to tell.

So, eventually, will the rumor just die down if I don't "feed" into it? I never really cared about drama and gossip -- it was just amusing to watch how much trouble it caused -- but now that I'm the center of it, it's really nerve-wracking.


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
haunted by the ghost of you
   
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