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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
caleb1998 Offline
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Name: Caleb
Age: 20
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Time - September 8th 2014, 05:38 AM

Well, its really awkward to me to talk about it but let start:

Summer 2007 my family moved from Honduras to Dominican Republic because of work reasons, my father thought it was the best of it and because we would be in a new country we could go up in class and try to make friends with upper-class people.
Well the result was pretty much different from what he thought. We got here and I was just joining 4th grade, as a kid you know you are almost happy about anything. Well its a new school filled with a bunch of rich kids and even the ex-president's daughter studies there. For most of that year nothing interesting happened besides me not making that much friends and only friends with the awkward ones from the class.
5th grade(2008):
still in the awkward ones, and make some which at the time believe were friends.

6th grade(2009):
here the stuff started becoming bad for me, i had a bad posture which got me the nickname of "Hunchback of Santo Domingo" (Santo Domingo = capital of Dom. Rep.) pretty much is a really bad name and i felt really bad, for some reason i never talked about it to my parents, and got really rejected to the point of only having about 2 friends, the one person who was really gopd with me was the director(a woman, idk if im writing it correctly), when i felt bad about something i could talk with her, and when people bullied me calling me names i didnt like or hitting me she would talk with them. The worse problem i had this year is that for some amazing reason i got a girlfriend a year younger than me, she was cousing with one of my friends and when she broke up with me like 2 weeks later, she said that i raped her and her sister, so people would start calling me pedofile and rapist and stuff like that.

(the reason of the bullying if i haven't stated it already is that i don't have the same money as them and don't live in the same houses and zones they do)

7th grade(2010):
this year i could actually make some friends but still some bullied me, there was a new principal(another woman) this year too. all went well up until one day this guy (which reappears later in the story, this story is all true btw) and girl started making rumours about me and how i masturbated in school and with my phone, now people wouldn't get near me and called me disgusting. i got really mad at this guy and told the principal(the new one) she said it was my fault because i called him fat at start of year and she didn't do anything and told me to suck it up. so at the end of that day i filled my wheeled backpack with the big books and hit him in the back then got the math book and hit him in the head, he punched me in the stomach and we both got called to the principal's office, she starts telling me that there is no possible reason for me to do that and starts talking it down, she tells us if we want to be friends still and he says yes but i say no and she threatens to call my parents if i don't i end up saying yes but that i didn't really would be friends with him, she called my parents and had to be sent to a psychologist.
another day almost the end of the year people would keep bothering me and i really didn't do much while all of them got invited to their birthdays and everything and i didn't, well it felt lonely, going back to the story this other guy started calling me racist names against my country(idk if thats racist tho) so once i got really really pissed and stabbed his back with a pen, and got called to the principals office and i told her because he said that stuff but she said that that wasn't true and that i wasn't thinking okay (indirectly calling me a crazy person) and telling me that no one in school did anything to me that it was all my imagination. got sent to another psychologist and i get a breakdown and being such a young person i manage to break the psychologist's door and a large ceramic pot. its about 1 month to finish classes and i fall in love with a girl we become a couple but she quickly gets rid of me because one day i was sitting on her chair and she told me to stand up i did but i didn't notice her pencil case was in the floor and broke it, her mother got pissed and told the principal that i was stalking her and that i lifted her skirt and broke her pencil case, and the girl added to it that i grabbed her(non existent at the time) boobs and pushed her of the stairs. Well i finnaly crack and talk to my parents about everything and the finally notice what was happening actually. Also we had this works online and we had to write what we wanted to do in the future and wrote president, but someone changed it, after we left(i left it open) and put that i love how big the ass of one girl is and how i would love to fuck her, the next day the teaher called me out and told me i got a detention and told me that he knew it was me, but didn't told me what i did even if i asked him, i found out through my parents, i got really mad cause no one believed me. The school expelled me at the end.

8th grade (2011):
I got this school that accepted me, but something felt off.
(i am considered much bigger and older for my age)
Well at first , not even the first week passed and parents started talking to the principal about how i am to old to be with their children and the principal explains them that im even younger than most of them.
same with the other school i got bullied because of the money and because im ugly.
in class i got the mind-outs (like blackouts but just my mind disconnects) and stared at the floor, but girls started complaining thinking i was looking at their butts. i fell in love with this girl and well she started telling me how horrible i was and that im a stalker and told the principal stuff like that and i got blamed for everything but one day she sent me text telling me really mean stuff and i answered telling her how i wanted to kill her (got really pissed), i don't really remember and suppose that i got into a depression and started to erase memories, but i cutted and remember because if the marks i still have, well started with cutting a little bit, but ended up using a sweater to hide the marks of my arms, and the pants hid the ones on my legs.
for some reason all my homeworks and classes started lowering in grades even if my mom checked i did my homework and everything, but some way my parents found out that the old school had a meeting with this new school and told them to ruin my grades and not to let me pass to a new grade and if possible get me expelled, so my dad has a reunion with the director, the principal and the psychologists, and my personal psychologist, my dad and my psychologists tell them that if they continue doing that, that he will sue them with them not letting me study (in my country there is a law that protects children from not getting accepted into a school, and the old school wanted me to get expelled from this one so it was more difficult for me to get into one,in my country school don't like to accept expelled kids) the director says she never knew about that and that she would carry out the punishments for the principal(she got fired), but that she couldnt change the fact that the principal expelled me because it was already written.

(now the problems change from money, to looks)

9th grade (freshman) (2012):
got to this new and awesome school where i really can meet and talk with people and most of my friends accept me. didn't notice until now but this teacher always separated me and told me to sit alone, never understood until now and it was because she thought i was too old to be sitting with them. i am getting out of depression at this time. i got almost expelled but it was kinda my fault here.

10th grade (sophomore) (2013) (dating year wtf?!):
this year is one of the least problematic, but i really felt oppressed by an ex-teacher the nurse, and the psychologist.
the ex-teacher starts saying that i shouldn't be with the group cause im to old, (im the third, or fourth oldest in the class) and that they should separate me from the class, this year i dated a girl from my class, nothing interesting happened no problems with school and her, then i dated a 9th grader which lasted about 3 weeks, but school told only me, that i couldn't get near any girl that was from another class but mine, kinda making it bad because my bestfriend (a girl) is in 8th grade. then i dated(and still 7 months later still dating her) a friend of my bestfriend who is also in 8th grade, we kissed once and got caught, well it pretty much rocket fired and the school wanted me to assist a psychologist because i was dating too much, the psychologist called a meeting with some moms from the school and told me to look after their kids because i was a pervert and not to let them talk to me, well the moms did that but the people didn't really listen to them and kept talking to me, so this ex-teacher started bothering me telling my friends im way too old and talking with the nurse about how i should leave this school because of how old i look, and started to try to pull me apart from my friends, and my dad told me to tell her if she did it again to stay away from me because he consulted a lawyer and he told him that it is illegal for an adult to be bothering me in this country. she pretty much backed off. Well going back to my current girlfriend, well because of the age difference most of my class except my ex-girlfriend(one of my besties) and two friends of mine, thought it was completely disgusting how she and I dated, pretty much she has a mind older than my and is more mature than me sometimes, but it really made me feel bad about the opinions of my friends.

(age difference)

11th grade (junior) (2014):
current year, up until now i haven't had any problems but really feel bad the way my friends think about my relationship so i have to keep it secret and told them i dumped her which boosted the way they talk to me and made them friendlier with me. I know its weird for me to date someone 3 years younger than me but well shes mature as me and sometimes more than me and we like each other really well and we've had our fights but are still together after 7 months. Can't write too much because i just started this year and well its been less than a month.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
luckiicloverxx Offline
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Re: Time - September 8th 2014, 06:24 AM

Hey there Caleb,

Wow. That's a lot for you to have gone through. I'm really sorry that so many people were so nasty to you, but you just need to look forwards instead of backwards People attack the ones that they're jealous of or because they're insecure, so there's usually absolutely nothing wrong with the person they're bullying.

Feel free to talk to me whenever and about anything

Kyra
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
cynefin Offline
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Re: Time - September 8th 2014, 02:40 PM

Hi there,

I'm really sorry you had to go through that. Teachers know that bullying is wrong, but some will turn a blind eye when it is happening because they either don't know what to do or don't want to get in trouble for choosing the wrong action to take. It seems like a few school staff members you were affiliated with were very unprofessional. Keep in mind that not everyone is going to be like that in your life. It is unfortunate that you got into trouble for defending yourself.

You mentioned at one point that you were bullied because of your looks, financial situation, and where you lived. I want to point out that money cannot buy happiness. You can have whatever you want in the world, but that won't necessarily make you happy. The way a house becomes a home is when you are surrounded by family and those that love you. The physical appearance of your house doesn't matter as long as you are with your family. You're so much more than how you look. You're brave, for one, for posting this thread and telling us about your experiences.

You briefly mentioned self-harm and I don't know if you still struggle with it or not, but here is an alternatives thread you may want to check out.

People who bully usually do so because they are going through something themselves. This doesn't excuse their behavior, but bullying others is their unhealthy comping mechanism, very much like self-harm or alcohol. I know what has gone on in your life bothers you, but try not to let it get the best of you because by doing that, you are letting the people who tormented you have control.

Take care!



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