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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Unhappy I just want to get through this year! (Long) - September 26th 2014, 04:58 PM

Hi,

So, I am in my second year at college studying in the hope of going to uni and becoming a nurse. Anyway last year at college there were a few incidents of bullying in our class which I wasn't involved in but it seems this year I'm in the middle of it all.

We came back from the holidays and had to do 'get to know each other' exercises in class. Anyway, me and my pretty much only friend in the class were sat with one of the other girls in the class whose boyfriend had left our group for this year so she wasn't attached to him constantly this year. So we talked and got on really well and in one of the tasks she said me and my mate were her best friends... but yesterday that was most defiantly not the case. She wouldn't talk to us, look at us or sit near us. In class I crossed my legs under the table and accidentally knocked her foot. She just turned to me and snapped "Don't do that again!" and I was shocked. I told her it was an accident and she just ignored me.

Anyway, there are two other girls in the class who last year didn't think my mate would make a good nurse as she was constantly with different guys, some of those guys did drugs. Anyway, she herself doesn't and just has a bit of bad luck when it comes to men. And this year those girls have taken to attacking our relationships not so quietly behind our backs. And I've been with my guy three years and we have lived together for two and a half years and just purchased our first house together. And they also seem to have dragged other girls in our class into it and they will give us looks and are rather rude to us.

It is getting me down a bit, and it makes collage a really unpleasant place to be. I just want to get this academic year out the way and focus on my future, but it isn't easy to ignore.
   
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Re: I just want to get through this year! (Long) - September 26th 2014, 08:01 PM

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear that these incidents have made college an unpleasant place to be!

It seems like one of the girls was getting along with you beforehand and something has changed her mind. I can understand how her reaction to you accidentally bumping into her foot would startle you, though. I know you said that she doesn't seem to want to talk to you, but perhaps you can try starting a conversation to figure out why she is acting this way. People who mistreat others often do so because they are in pain themselves. It can be seen as a negative coping mechanism that they use to deal with their overwhelming feelings. So, there is a chance that she may have just had a bad day or something related to that.

Unfortunately, people aren't always so quiet about their opinions and it must make you feel bad when they analyze your relationships like that. As long as you and your friend are happy with your relationships that is all that matters. Your friend may have had some bad luck with dating in the past, however, she knows the truth and the people that are bullying you won't ever know the full story.

Do these people act like this in a particular class, or all day? Do you think you can possibly change your seating arrangements? It may help if you consider talking to one of the school counselors about it. I know it may be hard, to ignore, but by letting this get to you, you are giving these negative people power. I think it would healthy if for you to reinforce to yourself that the opinions of your classmates do not matter; the way they act shows that they are beneath you. Try to write down some positive things about you and your friend that you can refer to.

Try to use your future as something to motivate you!

Take care.


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Re: I just want to get through this year! (Long) - September 27th 2014, 02:44 AM

Hello there,

I am sorry to hear that this is a unpleasant experience for you. College can be a difficult place. With all different types of people. Your friend suddenly started ignoring you. It could be for a number of reasons. She could be hurting inside or just does not want to talk to you. I would suggest asking her why she is ignoring you.

As for the other bullies I would suggest ignoring them. They will eventually lose interest in bullying you.

Best of luck in college
   
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