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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jess~ Offline
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boring? - December 18th 2014, 01:02 AM

after school today, i was waiting to get picked up with one of my most favorite friends from school.
it's already pretty awkward to be alone with a friend, when usually there's at least one other person with us. (it wasn't our first time alone together, but i don't think it's ever really all that great.)

so i was trying to keep up the conversation for awhile, but i was really tired after a whole day of school. so many emotions were going through my head, and my crush was still there, so I was worrying about him too.
my friend and i had been together all day, we basically talked about everything there was to talk about.

i understood this perfectly, but after about thirty seconds of silence, she flipped out on me and exclaimed, "oH MY GOD, YOU'RE JUST... GRR.. YOU'RE SO QUIET."
she's called me "boring" before too, and i was expecting her to say something like this.

don't get me wrong, she's an amazing friend. she's probably my best friend there, and we have great times together. in fact, she usually never sincerely insults me, we always joke back and forth, but that's it.

but i just.. i don't know. it hurts to be called quiet or boring, because i don't want to be that way, and i don't really think i am? i don't think i've shut up this entire day, EXCUSE ME if i don't want to talk for two minutes.

honestly, i don't even know what's wrong. i've just been really sad lately. usually i'm pretty thick skinned, but i've been really sensitive for some reason.

i think a lot of it has to do with my crush, because i never talk to him anymore. aside from my feelings for him, we were great friends last year, and i just don't know how to talk to him anymore.
i'm going to make a SnapChat to talk to him, even though i don't think i'm allowed to.

but my life's gone to shit. it's not just this, there's other things happening too. family things, jealousy things, just random unfortunate events..

i just don't know what to do. i don't know why i even made this thread. sorry for wasting your time. i just had to get this stuff off my chest.

unfortunately, that solves absolutely nothing. but.. whatever. i should be happy, honestly. i don't know what's wrong with me. i just feel myself slowly slipping away from something??
maybe it's just how helpless i feel with what's happening to my life. so many things i can't control.
i really don't know what my problem is. i wish my friends would think i'm interesting. i wish i didn't have such a crappy voice. i wish i could talk to my crush -- my friend. i miss people and i can't do anything about it.
i hate this.


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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Re: boring? - December 18th 2014, 01:21 AM

Being called "quiet" and "boring" isn't always a bad think. haha! I'm shy till you get to know then I won't shut up! Haha! But on the other hand my husband is really quiet and I guess you can say we live boring lives. But it keeps us out of trouble.

So boring can be good!

















Last edited by ღ Army Wiife ღ; December 18th 2014 at 10:43 PM.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: boring? - December 18th 2014, 08:12 PM

Hey there,

I have been called boring too, and itís not nice. But I donít think you are boring at all! You also donít need to change for anyone either. If people think you are boring, they arenít worth youíre time.

It sounds like you are going through a lot at the moment, and itís understandable that you donít want to be talking constantly.

I think you should get back in touch with your crush. Even if nothing happens between you two, you could always stay friends with him. You also donít have to be happy when things arenít going great in your life- itís ok to say that the other things such as family and unfortunate events are bothering you. You may feel that you have to stay strong, but it can be good to let others know how you feel too. Perhaps you could let your friends know about what youíre going through?

You didnít waste my time! Itís always good to get things off your chest!

Take care


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Re: boring? - December 19th 2014, 02:53 AM

You didn't waste our time.

I'm a very reserved person off-site and a lot of people I know are the opposite. These people I know like to talk a lot and they don't seem to realize that constant conversation isn't needed. Sometimes it's just nice to be in the presence of those you enjoy being around, you know?

If the situation was different and you hadn't known this friend for a while I would say that they might not be someone you need in your life. However, since you said you've had some great times and she's one of your best friends I think it's worth talking things through with her. Perhaps you can tell her that you don't feel the need to talk all of the time, and that you don't like to be called boring or quiet.

Like Holly said, I think it would be a good idea for you to start talking to your crush again. If talking to him in the past brightened your mood than maybe it will do that again. You could make a SnapChat if you're allowed to. You could also text him or do something as simple as give him a smile or wave if you see him in the hallway.

If you're struggling with other things in your life right now consider talking to someone about how you're feeling. You deserve to have some additional support and you deserve to be heard.

Take care and feel free to send me a message if you need to.


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Re: boring? - December 19th 2014, 05:59 PM

Hey,

It sucks that you have to go through all this at the same time. I think the best thing to do about your friend would be to try and talk to her about it. If she calls you quiet or boring again, you can try something along the lines of, "Sorry, I know I can be kind of quiet. Is there something you want to talk about?" You shouldn't have to take the blame for being reserved, because it isn't a bad thing to be. Is there a different close friend or family member you could talk to about it? Maybe mention that you've been feeling down and some people have been picking on you for being quiet.

As other people have suggested, try reconnecting with your crush. Maybe just small conversations here and there, or just saying hi when you see him around. A snapchat would be good to keep in touch. Little things like that might bring you guys closer again and brighten up both of your moods.

Good luck!

Estelle
   
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Re: boring? - December 30th 2014, 05:48 AM

Thank you all for replying! o: usually i don't get much feedback on my threads, so this is really awesome. c':

okay, well things with my one friend are back to normal and great... i guess that was just an off day, maybe?

but now, the main problem is my crush.
see, on Friday before Christmas break, i learned that EVERYONE...meaning his whole group of friends...knew that i liked him.
someone said i made it "obvious", but all i did was glance over at him like...pssh, every five minutes??

but yeah, since he already knows i like him...i'm just not sure about talking to him. should i still do it, and try to salvage the friendship?? how would i go about doing that??!

what should i even say to him?? i'm not allowed to have a Snap Chat, but I'm gonna do it anyway...just to talk to him, that's it. it's fine, right?
because there's NO other way..
i just don't know what to do anymore. :c

what's your opinion on me making a Snap Chat to talk to him, even though he already knows i like him?
Should I lie and say I don't like him?
What exactly should I say??


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Re: boring? - December 31st 2014, 02:28 AM

I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for you and your friend! You're right, it could have been an off day. Everyone has an off day sometimes.

Do you know how they found out that you like your crush? Unless you actually confirm that to them, then you could look at it as a rumor if you're uninterested in telling anyone that you actually do like him. Perhaps his friends will stop talking about it when someone or something new takes the spotlight. I think you should definitely talk to him! It's always worth a try, right?

You could make a Snap Chat if you'd like to, or you can communicate in other ways (text, email, etc) so you won't get into any trouble with your parents for creating a Snap Chat. I don't think you should lie to him about your feelings for him, but you don't have to bring up the topic either if you're not comfortable with that. However, if he brings it up, I think you should be honest with him so he hears it from you. As for what you should say, I think you should be casual. You could ask what's up or how the holiday's went for him to start a conversation.


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Re: boring? - December 31st 2014, 10:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassiopeia. View Post
Do you know how they found out that you like your crush? Unless you actually confirm that to them, then you could look at it as a rumor if you're uninterested in telling anyone that you actually do like him. Perhaps his friends will stop talking about it when someone or something new takes the spotlight. I think you should definitely talk to him! It's always worth a try, right?

You could make a Snap Chat if you'd like to, or you can communicate in other ways (text, email, etc) so you won't get into any trouble with your parents for creating a Snap Chat. I don't think you should lie to him about your feelings for him, but you don't have to bring up the topic either if you're not comfortable with that. However, if he brings it up, I think you should be honest with him so he hears it from you. As for what you should say, I think you should be casual. You could ask what's up or how the holiday's went for him to start a conversation.
That's really reassuring, thank you so much! o:
I was thinking the same thing.. and I was also thinking that I could play it off as a rumor, if anyone asked me about it. Like "oh, is that what people are saying about me??" and then laugh it off or something.

Well, last night I created a Snap Chat account. I seriously dislike the app, I think it's stupid, and I hate the idea of sending pictures back and forth. xD
But yeah, it's literally the only way to communicate with him, since things would be too awkward face-to-face, and I don't have his email or number. :/

It's a tricky situation, for me, starting to talk to him.. because at first, I was going to blame it on one of my friends, who gave me his account name. I was just gonna say, "hey, *friend* told me to talk to you so.....??"
and then just play it off like i don't really care or anything. but my friend said she didn't want me to do that...honestly, i don't see the harm in it??

part of me just wants to forget i ever liked him, and just focus on our friendship, but the other part knows that he's shown possible signs of liking me back.. especially last year, when we were good friends.
so i don't know which way i should go on that.

it'll just be awkward to talk to him... he's not one of those people that you can just...have a conversation with. i wouldn't say he's closed off, necessarily, but our friendship was mostly all jokes at first. then, as we warmed up to each other, we began asking about our families and stuff like that. but it was all just basic stuff, mostly. and then we started joking about each other and making fun of each other, and i think i accidentally offended him, which might've but a strain on our friendship. (i jokingly called him a dumbass, and name-calling is something i do when i really like people. xD stupid, i know.)

so, i just...really don't know how to explain this, but i'm not sure that casual talking would be all that casual for us?? he'd want to know why i was even talking to him...

i'm sorry for bothering you with all this information. i have a hard time with stuff like this, because in the past, i screwed up so many friendships and lost so many people.. i just can't mess up again. :/


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Re: boring? - January 2nd 2015, 04:43 AM

You're not bothering me!

But, I think you can definitely play it off as a rumor if you'd like to, because it sort of already is a rumor unless you confirm it as you're the source.

I don't see what the harm is in saying that you got his username from a friend but if she doesn't want you to do that, than maybe you can think of something else? Although you don't have to tell him how you got his username, either. You're not obligated to explain everything, you know?

Since the two of you used to joke a lot, maybe you can start the conversation with a joke he likes or a new one that you think he'll like?


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Re: boring? - January 2nd 2015, 09:04 PM

I'm an extremely shy person and I'm always told, when I was in elementary and high school, that I was really quiet. There really isn't anything wrong with being quiet. Some people just prefer to be quiet.

Since you and this other person like to joke around a lot, maybe try starting a conversation with this person. I know it can be difficult, but I believe you can do it!




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