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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
AweenaCandy01 Offline
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I need a little bit of help.... - July 12th 2015, 11:16 PM

I used to be bullied at my last school, because I didn't have a phone
I know that I will be bullied at my new school, and I don't know what I should do about it....
I could care less about the phone, but the bullies, not so much
So, yea.... Any help?
   
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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 12th 2015, 11:56 PM

I don't know how much help this will be, but try to ignore them. If they want to spend their time and energy bullying you over something you don't even care about then it's their problem. If you let them get to you, then you're giving them what they want.


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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 13th 2015, 09:26 AM

Hey I was frequently bullied for my skinny appearance last year, and since then I have changed schools and things are going much better. I think an important thing to realize is that the people bullying you are probably using this as a way to take out their anger about their own problems, so your bullies probably have quite a lot of issues themselves. That and a combination of them being dumb and immature.
I think something that will help is 1- as Katie has said, ignore them, or 2- go beyond that and tell your bullies "you know what, I actually don't care that I don't have a phone". Show them you are above them and their maturity level. Essencially the excuse they are using to bully you is that you have no phone; they want you to feel bad about not having one. So if you tell them that you don't mind not having a phone, they will back off eventually. I know that if I had thought to do this when I was being bullied, the bullying would not have dragged on for as long as it had.
Another thing that works quite well is confusing the bullies. Instead of trying to hide from them and showing them you feel uncomfortable when they bully you, walk past them with your head held high, and if you are in a situation where you are face to face with them, give them a big smile and even a wave. When they are bullying you, they obviously want your response to be emotionally hurt, so if you show them happiness and make the feel like your exchanges are giving you pleasure and you even look forwards to seeing them, they will back off. They will be SO confused.

To recap:
Whenever you see your bullies, greet them with a smile, and tell them confidently that you don't mind not having a phone. And end your conversations with "have a nice day".

Hope this helps!


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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 13th 2015, 02:43 PM

In my experience, you need to act as if it doesn't bother you: but don't let people walk all over you. Show you don't care, but also show you hold the bullies in the lowest regard. Maybe even think of cool, icy comebacks for things they are probably likely to say.
Never take bullying withoyt a fight. You deserve better. x
   
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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 13th 2015, 05:57 PM

I would also like to add that just cause the kids at your last school were bullying you just because of you not having your phone doesn't mean it'll happen again - I had a super nasty middle school class but once I got to high school, it wasn't so bad cause I was around people who weren't so nasty all the time, so i wouldn't sweat it.

Unlike Elvishqueen, I found that ignoring people didn't really help. Dishing it back didn't really help. Telling your parents or teachers didn't really help. These things can help a lot depending on circumstace but it is like you need a nice middle ground and I don't want to pretend any one of these things will be deter a bully right away -- just like people at another school will be different, the things that stop each bully will be different. It's why it is sometimes so hard to get people to stop when you report the bullying because sometimes you just run into an extremely nasty kid. However, overall I do think that if you find a nice middle ground, such as by not faking deafness when the bullies are present, cause they know you're trying to ignore them and standing up for yourself without showing to much anger really helps. It shows that they aren't getting to you because you're just going about your life and making it clear that they have no affect on that.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 14th 2015, 03:37 PM

Bullies are most likely going to be anywhere you go, and even if you satisfy one of their targets, such as the phone, they will find something else.

You could start by trying to make it seem that they aren't bothering you and see if that works. If not, my personal experience shows that it shows a bit of improvement if you are able to beat them in a word game. So if one was to say something insulting, come back with a quick one-liner to show that you aren't going to just let it happen. If that doesn't work, you could always tell a teacher, the principal or even your parents, better yet, the bullies' parents and they can handle the situation.

Hope at least part of this helps! Message me if you need anything.
   
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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 22nd 2015, 10:44 PM

Hi there.

Being bullied isn't an easy thing to go through so I am glad you have come to us for some help on this situation. I am however, sorry you are having to go through this right now.

I don't have anything wonderful to say which is going to stop all of this but I wanted to give you my support. I've been bullied a few times several years back and I know how tough it can be and how horrible it can make you feel.

I think it's important that if this bullying continues, that you talk to your school about it. A lot of schools now have anti-bullying procedures in place which can be really helpful and they can take care of bullying in the right way. So most importantly, don't go through this alone. Also, act to them as if it doesn't bother you. Thats what I did and soon they laid of me. Because they wanted to get to me so when they didn't, it sucked for them. Its hard but you can do it but I really really want to urge you to not be alone while you're going through this, okay? People have no right to bully you in any way at all.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to shoot me a PM and I'll try my best to be there for you. Keep your head high and keep reminding yourself of all the reasons you don't deserve it and all the good thing about you.

You can do this.
Jessie


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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 24th 2015, 08:40 PM

OMG. People bully for the stupidest reasons. Seriously bullying you for not having a phone that is just so stupid. Why would people even care if you have a phone or not. Yeah you don't have a phone not a big deal. I didn't have a phone before but when I got a phone people were making such a big deal about it. If people are bullying for not having a phone they are just stupid.
   
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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 25th 2015, 09:08 AM

Hey there, Kyra!

I'm really sorry you were bullied in the first place, but over something such as not having a phone? That's very immature of them.

Why do you feel as you know you will be bullied at your new school just because you were bullied at your last school? I'm sorry you feel like that, to expect it. I really hope you don't get bullied at your new school, but if unfortunately you are, then I suggest taking the advice of the posters above about acting like it doesn't bother you. Because most of the time, a reaction and knowing they're upsetting you is what they want. And showing them you don't care might prevent further bullying. Although it depends on the individuals bullying you. Regardless, I recommend telling an adult if you are bullied again. Specifically the school principle or a teacher. Telling your parents and also talking to the school counselor could also be a great idea as you'd have some support and people to talk to so you don't have to face it all alone.

When you go to your new school, how about joining a group or participating in another school activity such as sports for example? Doing so could help you meet others with common interests to make friends. Having true friends to say hello to each time you go to school and also a friend to stick up for you could make it a much better experience.

Hope things go great at your new school. You deserve to enjoy school instead of worrying about bullies. You have our support and you're welcome to continue reaching out. Try not to let what bullies say get to you. I know that's easier said than done, but who you are is worth a lot more than insignificant things they pick on. Take care, Kyra.
   
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Re: I need a little bit of help.... - July 28th 2015, 05:27 PM

Hi Kyra

I got bullied because of not having a phone too. If they bullied you for not having a phone it means they are very dependant on it, in my case I just proved them that I'm not enslaved by those gadgets like they are. Personally I just ignored their remarks and fought back and showed them I can find my way without a phone alright. If the bullying continues, I agree with the others that you should tell someone.

That they are willing to go to such extent just because you don't have a phone doesn't change the fact that they are immature and stupid.

Anyway this is how I fought the bullies in my school. I'm sorry if my story doesn't help, but I hope it does. I hope your new school will be better though.

Abigail.
   
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