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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Elision Offline
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I've become incredibly self-conscious - January 15th 2017, 11:55 AM

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, it seemed like the best option, but feel free to move it if you think it needs to go somewhere else.

Okay, so I recently realised that I am becoming incredibly self-conscious. I don't mean really shy or anything, just really aware of people watching me all the time, and I'm always concerned about what other people think of me. Like, I was on the train and I was so scared of someone looking at my phone that I turned the brightness super super low (I was literally just looking at the news, but I felt like someone might judge me for doing that idek). And I have just started driving lessons, and I'm always incredibly aware of what my instructor and other drivers might be thinking of me. And at school I feel like someone's always watching or judging, and I'm just constantly scared of doing stuff wrong, or making a fool out of myself. How can I do this less, I want to be able to go out and not care what people think, I used to be a bit like that but recently I have become so incredibly uptight and paranoid about other people.

Thank you for reading everyone


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Re: I've become incredibly self-conscious - January 16th 2017, 01:40 PM

I am sorry to hear you're feeling that way. It can be an incredibly uncomfortable thing to feel.

It can be hard but what other people think doesn't matter. An article I recently read suggested to value a few opinions but then discard the rest. For example, you may value the opinion of your mom or your best friend because they are close to you, but it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is what you think. How do you feel about looking at the news? Is that what you want to do? Do you think that is an okay thing to do? If so, that is all that matters. Everyone else can fade into the background.

Something that may help ease your anxiety is that people have a lot on their own mind in a typical day. For example, someone on the bus may be thinking about homework, their parents, an argument they had with their friend, and being on time for their shift at work. Many people are so preoccupied with themselves that it is unlikely for them to think negatively of you. And if they do think negatively of you, that's on them. You are likely to never see that person again.

What matters most are your own opinions and your own approval. It can be a challenge but I hope in time you no longer fear what other people think about you.


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Re: I've become incredibly self-conscious - January 16th 2017, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassado View Post
I am sorry to hear you're feeling that way. It can be an incredibly uncomfortable thing to feel.

It can be hard but what other people think doesn't matter. An article I recently read suggested to value a few opinions but then discard the rest. For example, you may value the opinion of your mom or your best friend because they are close to you, but it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is what you think. How do you feel about looking at the news? Is that what you want to do? Do you think that is an okay thing to do? If so, that is all that matters. Everyone else can fade into the background.

Something that may help ease your anxiety is that people have a lot on their own mind in a typical day. For example, someone on the bus may be thinking about homework, their parents, an argument they had with their friend, and being on time for their shift at work. Many people are so preoccupied with themselves that it is unlikely for them to think negatively of you. And if they do think negatively of you, that's on them. You are likely to never see that person again.

What matters most are your own opinions and your own approval. It can be a challenge but I hope in time you no longer fear what other people think about you.
Thank you for your help, it's much appreciated! I guess because I'm a bit awkward sometimes at school around certain people I just feel really stupid and...I don't think self conscious is the word it's more sort of self aware. Like I am constantly aware that there are people and they might or might not be watching me. I guess it doesn't really help that I spend quite a bit of time around my ex, because of lessons and extra curricular stuff and I know him well enough to know that he is watching me a fair bit of the time and I know I shouldn't care what he thinks because I don't actually like him but I just am really aware of it and it makes me really uncomfortable.

Anyway sorry for the ramblyness and thanks again for your help!


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