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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Need help ASAP (dropping a class?) - July 23rd 2017, 12:56 PM

My favorite class is Shop...I love learning how to use tools and create projects because I think it's an important life skill. I used to get the highest grade in the class and the teachers all seem to love me. The problem is, I get picked on pretty badly. There's six boys and three girls...obviously it has to be a small class because of limited machinery. And all of the other kids are really good friends. I tried to make friends with them so many times (I've been in the class for almost two years now) and it just never works. They always ignore me and won't talk until I leave, I swear I never did anything to them. And people just laughing at me or talking about me behind my back, I don't know how much more I can take. One of the girls is best friends with this guy who's gay...and it's like no one else is allowed to be his friend but her. And he used to be kind of nice to me, I mean he was the only one who'd sit with me, probably out of pity. But then she started telling him I was uncomfortable with his sexuality and I tried to prove I wasn't homophobic but he wants nothing to do with me now.

There are these two girls who are nice to me outside of the class but once we get there, they won't talk to me anymore and just go off with the other kids...they give me these dirty looks and I don't know what I did wrong, I never said anything. Some of the boys are just annoying too, they always give me shit for 'being a girl' and not being able to do Shop (even though I get higher grades than them) but they only do it to me and not the three girls in the class...the worst thing is always coming back to the class and someone's drawn or written on my work.

I said I'd see the class through to the end because there's only four months left until we graduate but I hardly attend anymore and I've fallen behind, I just don't want to go anymore. If I didn't have to put up with my classmates, it'd be the best class ever but maybe I should just drop it? And I know 'not everyone's going to like me' but when nobody likes me, it seems like it'd be a lot better for all of us if I just disappeared. I mean all the constant teasing and feeling on being judged has made me really not confident in my work like my hands will go shaky and I'll get a nervous stutter so people think I'm an even bigger idiot.

I've already missed out on six lessons because I was ditching class so I've probably fallen behind. I have class again tomorrow but I really want to just skip it again
   
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Re: Need help ASAP (dropping a class?) - July 24th 2017, 01:56 PM

Aside from the people in that class, the subject matter of the class seems cool. It is unfortunate that it is your favorite class and people in it treat you this way.

You've skipped a few times and you're right in that you may have fallen behind. If you decide to return to the class, do you think you could work with the instructor one on one at an off time? For instance, some instructors offer extra help during lunch or before and after school. That could be worth looking into because then you could focus on the class itself and not be surrounded by other students.

Will your attendance in this class impact your graduation? Whether or not you drop the class is up to you but this could be something to consider, You said you've been in the class for two years and you have four months left before graduation. Four months can seem like a long time but two years is a long time and this could also be something worth thinking about.

Maybe you could make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of dropping this class and you could talk to your instructor or other school staff members to get their thoughts and support on this.


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Re: Need help ASAP (dropping a class?) - July 26th 2017, 12:29 AM

Does your school only offer this one shop class? I know some schools are smaller but my school had a few different shop classes available. If your school has more classes available maybe you could just change the class that you are in and take one at a different time?

I do know that might not be an option.

I agree, that the decision is entirely up to you but four months really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things and you've made it two years with these people.

Do you think you could talk to the instructor and let them know what is going on, see if you can work through the missed classes and maybe they can do something about the bullying?

The other thing to consider is that if you need this class or the units this class is offering you might not be able to drop it and switch to a completely different class so far into the school year. I know that under extenuating circumstances the school will work with you though. If you do not need the credits/units for the class and are just taking it for fun then I don't really see an issue with dropping it.

Best of luck.


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Re: Need help ASAP (dropping a class?) - July 26th 2017, 01:18 PM

Trigger - Self Harm

Thanks for the replies...I ended up going to one lesson and now one of my friends has joined. I really don't want them to be there because it's just embarrassing and they think I suck at Shop since everyone else is so far ahead now. And I have another lesson tomorrow, I obviously don't want to go but I really have to if I want to pass this term. I think I've been crying on and off for the past hour. And I ended up cutting my wrist with a scissor blade, not anywhere vital because I'm too squeamish for that but I wanted to scare myself I guess. If I'm being honest, I might've done it partially for the attention. Not because I want people to think I'm cool but because I want people to see how much I'm hurting...so I am kind of drawing attention to myself. But obviously I wanted to hurt myself too or I don't think I would've had the motivation. I hadn't cut in almost two months but I guess it doesn't matter now.
   
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Re: Need help ASAP (dropping a class?) - July 28th 2017, 02:04 PM

It is good to hear that you went to the lesson even though it was difficult. How close are you with this friend; do you think you can trust them with how you're feeling? Perhaps you could talk to them and let them know that the reason you're behind is because the people in the class have been bullying you and making you feel uncomfortable.

You said you don't want your friend there because it looks like you're struggling in the class, but if you can clear the air with that, your friend's presence could be a valuable support. You won't have to be as alone in the class anymore and that could make it more tolerable for you.

Going two months without cutting is an accomplishment and given how you feel now it makes sense that you are struggling with self-harm. Those two months self-harm free definitely do still matter because even lapsing now can't take those months away from you.


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