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DisneyGirl Offline
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I just want people to forget it happened - September 13th 2017, 06:18 PM

I'm uncomfortable even writing this. This is something I really don't talk about with anyone, not even the people closest to me. In middle school through my first half of high school I was just in a state of mind if not caring. I didn't care about anything at all not even my appearance. I literally stopped brushing my hair, I just didn't care which now that I think of it was crazy. It got to the point where everyone could tell it was just a huge knot at the back of my head. It was so embarrassing and it went on like that for like 3 years. It was completely my fault and I know that. I tried everything to fix it but it was past the point of being able to. Anyways, at school I was constantly made fun of as expected. I was so ashamed of myself I just wanted to crawl into a corner and die, I eventually just stopped going to school in 8th grade. I hated myself. Well, during the time I wasn't at school one of my "friends" made up the rumor that I tried to kill myself which wasn't true. Eventually I was forced to go back just to have everyone staring at me even more. I went into high school, dealt with all of that. One day one of my teachers made a comment about it and I got sent home that day crying hysterically. That was about my breaking point. Again, I refused to go to school this time for months. I was sent to a behavioral school, kids there were horrible so I eventually went back to my home school. And then in my summer going into junior year I got hired at a job. The next day my to be- boss texted me telling me that she didn't know if I could work there with my hair like that. I was humiliated and told her I would take care of it. The next day I took a pair of scissors and just cut and cut and cut until it was really short but as fixed as what it could be. I even bought a wig which I wore most of my junior year and then finally at the end of the school year I had enough confidence to wear my hair normally as it has grown to my shoulders by now and I love the way it looks now. The thing is is that I want to move past it and forget it ever happened... I'm a senior now and people will still comment on it. Last year a girl called me out for wearing a wig which embarrassed me. I met some new people last year and obviously they have no idea I was ever like that including my best friend. Today at our table in history this girl looked at me and laughed. "Dude! You're that girl who had the weird huge dread in her hair!" I felt my face get super red and I just looked at her and shook my head, shrugging desperately trying to change the subject. My best friend looked at me with her mouth open. I continued to deny it, wanting to crawl back into that corner and she continued on, swearing up and down that it was me. Then she finally just kept saying "who was that girl then? I swear you look just like her." That continued on all class period and basically ruined my day. I had no clue why this girl was... that just shows how many people talked about me. I know to you guys it won't seem like a big deal, but it's just such a painful part of my past... I hate the fact that it still follows me. My boss who ended up hiring me even told one of my coworkers how messed up my hair was ( that's how she worded it ) and my coworker looked st me and begged to see a picture. The whole time I just stood there looking at my feet. I'm proud of the change I've done to myself, looking st me now you would never know such a thing but it still keeps following me. I just hate I let it control my life for so long and I feel like that girl in my history isn't gonna stop anytime soon
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Re: I just want people to forget it happened - September 13th 2017, 11:30 PM

Even though you felt uncomfortable writing hopefully sharing it with us helped a little bit. It is awesome that you changed your hair and are proud of the change you made about yourself but I am sorry to hear that people still make comments about it. That must be hard for you to cope with.

When people make comments about it, would you feel comfortable asking them to stop talking about it? You could say that it makes you uncomfortable, that you're a changed person now, or that your hair from the past is irrelevant to today. If people don't respect that, you could walk away if possible.

It may be hard to see it now but this will definitely not follow you all of the time. It is a part of your life, yes, but eventually, it won't be as frequent anymore. This may be especially true when you leave high school and enter college or start with other parts of your life.

In the meantime, remember that you are much more than your hair; it doesn't define you. Keep taking care of yourself.

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forget, happened, people

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