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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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GalaxyCat 284 Offline
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Question Is this bullying? - November 8th 2017, 10:21 AM

Hello, I'm just wondering about this friend I have at school... She has very sudden mood changes and I can't tell if she's joking when she says some things, or if she's being dead serious. For example, today I was doing drama at school, and she was fine (not in a bad mood or anything) and then a few minutes later I accidentally stood on her finger and she got really angry and said "I hate you," and "go kill yourself." And then a few minutes later she was talking about my cat in a perfectly friendly way and being really nice. Half the time I have no idea what the heck is going on with her, and she occasionally gets so angry at the tiniest little things that she goes and tells a teacher and I get in trouble. She never apologises even when I tell her that what she did has upset me, and at least once a day she tells me to kill myself and that she and everyone else hates me, calls me a b*tch, etc., and I don't know when she's joking, and it just gets really annoying. What should I do? Is this bullying?
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Re: Is this bullying? - November 8th 2017, 12:09 PM

Mood swings can be difficult to deal with and can definitely affect our behaviour and the things we say. But that's no excuse for telling you to go kill yourself, or that she and everyone else hates you- that is bullying (verbal abuse). Even if she thinks she is 'joking', it's still bullying, especially if this is on a regular basis.

Maybe when she is calm you can approach her about this? Try using 'I' sentences e.g. 'I feel upset when I'm told to go kill myself/everyone hates me' as this helps to avoid blame (which could otherwise just cause an argument).

If she doesn't apologise or makes an effort to change her behaviour, then it may be best to distance yourself from her and to find other friends instead. You could also tell a teacher as well, since this is taking place in school, and school's shouldn't tolerate bullying. You deserve to feel safe at school, and to have friends that build you up, not put you down.

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Re: Is this bullying? - November 8th 2017, 12:38 PM

It sounds like your friend has other things going on with her that influence her to speak to you this way. But as it has been said that is definitely no excuse for her to tell you these things. and yes, the way she is treating you is considered bullying. It is never appropriate to tell someone to harm themselves.

Next time you approach your friend about how she makes you feel, maybe you could let her know that the behavior she’s displaying is concerning and encourage her to seek help.

You said you’ve explained how you sometimes feel hurt when she does these things and she hasn’t improved. Perhaps you can try to find other friends instead. You could join extra curricular activities or clubs to meet people with similar interests.

Remember that you are more than what she has said to you.

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