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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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CanadaCraig Offline
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Two boys kill themselves because of bullying - on OPRAH - May 27th 2009, 09:58 PM

Hi Everyone!!

I hope you're having a dandy day!!!

Two boys kill themselves because of bullying - on OPRAH


[Through it all, John says he doesn't blame any person or event for Ryan's death. "In the end, I believe my son died of an illness called depression, and I believe the depression came about because of the toxic middle school environment that he was in at the time," he says. "Tragically, it went undetected and untreated, but I think there are so many kids like him out there that are at risk."]

I appreciate AND understand WHY Ryan's father has chosen not to blame any person or event for his son's death. It's how HE is able to cope with his tragic loss. But there is plenty of blame to go around. To suggest otherwise is an insult to Ryan. As if Ryan was flawed somehow and THAT is why he took his own life. But even Ryan's father understands that - given the fact that he DOES blame what he calls the 'toxic environment'.

Until bullies are held accountable for what they are doing - whether or not they truly understand the impact of their actions - many victims of their abuse will continue to be pushed into believing that the only way out is to take their own lives. People are a lot like dogs. And a dog only respects a leader - a master [Think parent/teacher] who is willing to draw a line in the sand as to what is and what is not appropriate behavior. And the 'leader/master' [parent/teacher] must refuse to move that line. The moment that line moves - is the moment one begins to realize that what was once considered 'absolute' isn't 'absolute' at all. [In other words - the 'line in the sand' CAN be 'moved'] And when that realization sinks in - all respect for those boundaries [That 'line in the sane'] disappears.

And when it comes to WHO we care for - far too often people run past the victim in a desperate attempt to comfort the abuser. This is not only an affront to the victim - but it completely confuses the abuser. Inappropriate behavior must be responded to by something that STINGS. THAT'S how people learn where the line is. People must know [And I'm talking about everyone - regardless of their age] that if they act irresponsibly - in a way that is not appropriate for a decent human being - it's going to hurt THEM. Once the boundaries are defined - THEN we can work on trying to instill compassion for others in those who have shown very little compassion. I for one am truly sick and tired of victims being all but ignored while the abusers are being catered to and cared for.

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Blackwing Offline
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Re: Two boys kill themselves because of bullying - on OPRAH - May 28th 2009, 12:31 AM

Craig, I have to agree. Bullies need to be held accountable for there own actions.

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