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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Dust and Ash

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Ugh I hate it - August 20th 2018, 05:13 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Many of my friends disapprove of who I am dating, and they keep telling me to break up with him and to find someone else. They are constantly nagging me about it and keep pressuring me to do what they want. They say they know what is best, but do they really? They also would rather me do drugs with them instead of hang out with my boyfriend. I just don't know how to tell them to leave me alone.


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Re: Ugh I hate it - August 21st 2018, 01:40 AM

Why would your friends think you should use drugs instead of be with him? Is this what they actually told you or are you just assuming that this is what they want?

What are the reasons they do not like him?

Was there any chance that you were previously doing drugs with them and that you stopped because of your boyfriend? If so, did he ever say something to them about how irresponsible drug use is? If so, is that why they don't like him?

If your boyfriend is kind and respectful to you and others around you, I don't think you should break up with him. But I have to wonder why all of your friends hate him so much. If he was such a lovely person and never had any sort of issue with them, why do they care? Sure, there area always weird cliquey issues in high school, like maybe he's a jock and your friends are druggies and hate the preps on principle, I don't know. Or maybe it like I said, and he's lovely but told them to fuck off on the drug issue.

But I have to wonder if your friends are just inappropriately handling an valid issue: maybe he's a jerk or something like that. There are loads of guys like that. I had one ex who was super clingy and could be super douchy, I didn't see it cause I liked the attention and he was always nice to me... but then he started abusing me (e.g. controlling, manipulation, lies, belittling me). I eventually realized why no one liked him as a result. I had another, well, friends with benefits in this case, he'd be great around me but was one of those guys who'd only be nice when there was something in it for him (aka sex) and was a total douche otherwise.

I know I am only providing anecdotal results here, but my point is, unless there is an obvious reason that your friends don't like him that is truly out of his control, it concerns me that, from what you, say he seems universally disliked by your friends. If you'd said it was just one or two, maybe three, ok, but why are all of them agreeing here? Why? Hopefully you can clarify.
   
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Re: Ugh I hate it - August 21st 2018, 02:32 AM

I used to do drugs with my friends, but stopped for personal reasons.

The reasons they don't like him are, in their words, "He uses girls for sex and that is it."
I don't really know any full story because everyone has their own opinions.

My boyfriend is bipolar too. He tends to lash out at those who have a problem with him, thus leads to him getting into fights.

But my friends say they are looking out for me, and I believe them, but I feel that they are just judging him based off of looks.

But what bothers me is although I've told my friends to stop saying things because I don't want to hear it, they keep pressuring me to do what they want.


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Re: Ugh I hate it - August 21st 2018, 03:04 AM

Perhaps they are looking out for you, but perhaps they aren't.

I think you should sit down and talk to him about this.

It's a tough situation because your friends may be just jealous OR you don't see an abusive relationship but they do. Try to see him for who he is. Does he tell you to do things that are uncomfortable? Is he super over protective? Or does he treat you like a person?

If these friends have a past of negatively peer pressuring or bullying you, consider breaking the friendship. A healthy friendship does not come from bullying.

Good Luck. I hope you can find a solution.



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