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Marli Mint Offline
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I feel so. . . uncomfortable now. - August 12th 2009, 09:15 PM

So, I'm in middle school now. I've liked a guy named Zack since 2nd grade.
I was practically in love with this guy, and I don't take the word Love lightly. I obsessed over him, and changed everything about myself for him. I kissed the ground he walked on, and I only got laughed at.
I've been bullied a lot in my life. It still goes on, but he was by far the worst. It hurt being put down by the person you care about most. He is/was a true jerk. He still is, except now he's a player too. The thing is, he would laugh at me. He would push me. He made fun of me. He got big groups of people to laugh and make fun of me just because he thought it was funny. It never made me stop liking him though.
Well, In 3rd grade he saw I was in his class, and told me never to talk to him after he says," Ugh. It's you." I didn't. I couldn't bare that so I just minded my own business. Years passed, and I still only talk to him if I need to.
Now, i'm in middle school and he sits beside me in our health class, and I have several other classes with him. He flirts with almost all the girls. He makes jokes with all the guys. He talks about parties he's going to, and how he'll take a girl there with him. Things like that. I can't help but feel inadequate when he does that. I wasn't good enough for him. He called me ugly, and he made me feel useless. Like I didn't belong no matter how hard I tried, and he got everyone else to do the same thing. My self-esteem was damaged before I even had a class this year with him, and it's worse now.

Look at me
I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter

can it be
I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see
That if I were truly
To be myself
I would break my family's heart ♥

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Hey Nikki! Offline
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Re: I feel so. . . uncomfortable now. - August 12th 2009, 10:29 PM

Hmm, what grade are you in middle school?
Just think, you may never have to see Zack again once you go to high school. And I'm sure you'll find someone there you like, and who actually treats you as a friend. Hmm? That would be something to look forward to. Actually, you might not even see most of the people in your class ever again after you graduate. That's how it was with me.

I know how it feels to fall in love with an asshole, seriously.
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lacrotix Offline
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Re: I feel so. . . uncomfortable now. - August 13th 2009, 08:00 PM

Well, I don't think you should let this Zach get your spirits down. It's him who is imcompetent, not you. You dedicated your life to this guy, and that's says a lot about your character and integrity. Try to forget about him, he manipulates people for his gain.

As for you saying you're not good enough for you, I believe it's the other way around. As I said, you did everything. But he didn't. He just used you to look better in the crowds. I think this Zach was the one who wasn't good enough. He doesn't deserve somebody as pure and dedicated as you.

There are billions of people in the world. You will find somebody good if you are patient enough. Those who rush tend to trip and fall, after all.

I wish you the best of luck.
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