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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Hey Nikki! Offline
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August 20th 2009, 02:05 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm going back to school on August 24th. And with that, I'll probably be depressed again.

I hate school. I've hated it ever since I was 14. Before that, everything in my life was great. But school has pretty much ruined my life since freshman year of high school.

A few of my woes:

-I won't see any of the people from my pool anymore until next May...and they're so much nicer than the people at my school.

-I won't see any boys until May, either, because my school is all-girls...which is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, really.

-My mom's telling me to be friends with them this year, but I gave up doing that a while ago, and I can't stand any of them. It's a small class (60 kids, might be less this year), so rumors spread fast. The cliques are also harder to deal with.

-My mom also told me to tell them I have a boyfriend, just so I can fit in this year. But why should I have to lie? I want to be friends with someone who likes me for who I am, not what I have.

Everyone else I've met (from public school) seems to be fine with me for not having a bf or being rich. It's just that everyone in my school is private, expensive, and stuck-up, as cliche as that sounds.

Where am I going to make friends with people who I can actually respect, and vice versa? I want to be liked by someone, whether it be boy or girl...and I also wanted to try dating this year, since I haven't had a crush on someone in over 2 years, which is sad. But I guess I won't have that opportunity when there are no guys at my school, and the girls are, well, shallow and not worth my affections, no matter what my mom says.

I just want an intense relationship with someone, not a shallow one with a girl that causes drama.

Ugh...now my parents are getting the uniforms ready...I REALLY don't want to go to school. And I refuse to wear a uniform or act preppy like they want me to!

Last edited by Unicorn.; August 21st 2009 at 03:03 PM. Reason: merged posts
   
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Re: This isn't good... - August 20th 2009, 08:14 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry it's so hard for you to go back to school. School is supposed to be a good experience not a terrible one. Well you don't have to act preppy just to fit in. I'm sure out of the 60 girls at your school there must be one that is nice. It may seem like they are all cliquey but have you talked to each one seperately in depth? Theres got to be a couple you don't mind talking to you. Maybe try talking to your mother about how you feel about going back to school. I hope this helps.
~Alessa


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If I can make it out, you can too.
   
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Re: This isn't good... - August 21st 2009, 01:19 PM

It's no use. My mom mocks me and my dads too much of a coward to do anything. I'd rather die or run away than have to go back to school.
   
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Re: This isn't good... - August 21st 2009, 10:06 PM

Well don't give up. That's not worth anything at all. Just try talking to them. It is definately worth telling some one about how you feel that can help you. I can do my best but I don't know you well enough. If you cant talk to your parents maybe talk to a counselor at your school if they have them.


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Re: This isn't good... - August 27th 2009, 04:47 AM

Hi there. I generally agree with the last posts. Here's my opinion though:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey Nikki! View Post
I hate school. I've hated it ever since I was 14. Before that, everything in my life was great. But school has pretty much ruined my life since freshman year of high school.
How...similar to my situation. For the jerks I know, they start to turn their back on you once they have the freedom. In the elementary years, they act all good and all because there is a constant presence (the one and only class teacher) that chains them to only do good things. Once in high school though, the extended freedom lets jerks break away from this chain and do whatever horrible acts they want to do.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey Nikki! View Post
-My mom's telling me to be friends with them this year, but I gave up doing that a while ago, and I can't stand any of them...

-My mom also told me to tell them I have a boyfriend, just so I can fit in this year. But why should I have to lie? I want to be friends with someone who likes me for who I am, not what I have.
Just be yourself. If everybody ruins everybody and you don't like to be in that, then don't. There is a difference between the right thing and the easy thing. Sometimes it is lonely to stick to the justified and moral thing. That's life. In return for this though, we usually are nicer to others (though it's not really a benefit for us).


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey Nikki! View Post
Everyone else I've met (from public school) seems to be fine with me for not having a bf or being rich.
Did you try transferring into public school? That might be a solution.


I wish you the best of luck. Good people deserve to survive.
   
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Re: This isn't good... - August 27th 2009, 08:59 PM

Thank you! My parents always seem to overlook my issues at school...I'm glad there are still other teens out there who can listen to me and relate.

And I have to agree with the 'jerks in elementary school' thing. Although I made a lot of friends in middle school, only half of them still talk to me. The rest can't even recognize me- maybe they don't want to. But I guess they weren't friends after all, huh? I've had so many friends change before my eyes, and it hurts to see them go. It feels like they're 'dead' to me, and vice versa.

But one thing I learned is that the good people in middle school turn bad, and the bad ones...sometimes, they change. I'm friends with a few people who I used to hate in elementary school. Never thought I'd be best friends with them today.
   
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