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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
moonlightxrose Offline
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It never ends - August 30th 2009, 03:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I think kindergarden was the first time anyone ever made fun of me. And it continued all the way through middle school. I've had people tell my I was ugly and say other things about my appearance I couldn't do anything about, make fun of my name, push me, and stick gum in my pants. And I thought in high school I was free of that. I thought everyone had finally left me alone.
I just began my senior year. And I found out they're still there. But this time they're doing it behind my back and telling everyone all about it. Its still all the same things and more. That I'm ugly and I'm a loser. And my parents only throw me parties so I don't feel like a loser. And its not just at my school, but other schools. Years of trying to get over it and let go have been for nothing. I could change everything about me and the world will still hate me for existing. I always tried to be nice to people and this is what I get. Who am I suppose to trust? Some of my friends might be saying stuff about me. How am I ever going to go through my life like this? How will I ever love anyone?
   
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Re: It never ends - August 31st 2009, 02:17 AM

These people are a complete waste of space; all bullying comes from some form of spite, and spite either comes from jealousy or insecurity. Your peers aren't happy with themselves and can see you as an easy target, as they've been targetting you all their lives. You are NOT the problem, they are. Never ever change who you are, keep being nice to people and if things get worse, please please tell an adult. If things really can't get better, consider moving schools because you sound like a lovely person that bad people have victimised. PM me any time
   
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Re: It never ends - August 31st 2009, 07:29 PM

Hi there. I'm sorry to hear that you're being treated this way at school. Bullying isn't an easy thing to deal with, and you definitely don't deserve to be treated this way.

Have you ever discussed what's been going on with anyone? Maybe you should think about talking to the school counselor or a teacher. If you're being treated this way, there may be someone in the school who can at least try their best to put the bullying to a stop. Talking to someone who can help you out might not be a bad idea.

As for your friends, have you talked to them about this? If your friends are truly good friends, I doubt they would be a part of the bullying that goes on behind your back. If you have suspicions that they might be taking part in all of this, why not talk to them about it? I'm sure they'll understand and be willing to listen to what you have to say.

I wouldn't take what people say to heart. Whatever they say to your face or behind your back is far from the truth. Try to remain confident in yourself. They don't deserve the satisfaction of hurting you, so don't let them get to you. You're stronger than that.

I've gone through bullying before, and I know it's hard to deal with, but it doesn't go on forever. What I learned through the whole thing was that no matter what, you need to remain confident in yourself, and not let others opinions of you become your opinions of yourself. These people aren't worth your time or concern.

I hope that things get better for you soon. I'm here if you ever need to talk about what you've been going through. PM me anytime.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: It never ends - September 1st 2009, 01:22 AM

oh when I was in elementary school, when the bullying was at its worse, I would try and tell teachers, counslers, and school principles. Some teachers just didn't care. One even yelled at me for interrupting her phone call when a kid was picking on me in first grade and I tried to tell her. The school principle never knew what to do. And the most a school counsler ever did was call in one kid to tell me sorry for an incident in 5th grade. Adults have never done much to help me.
I tried talking to a friend today that is going to help me figure out who is spreading all this stuff.
I can't switch schools cause I'm in a special medical program that I can't leave. And they'll only let me go to a school where the kids are talking the most about me.
   
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Re: It never ends - September 1st 2009, 09:11 AM

That's life. Up until high school people make fun of you to your face. In high school they realize the fun of doing it behind your back. By the time you're done with high school you'll finally realize that some people are just that way. It becomes MUCH less common after high school though, don't worry. You're almost out. There will still be people like that... but after high school, those people won't have any friends themselves. Then they'll usually start to wisen up a bit.

It also depends on the crowd you hang out with. Do you "have to be popular?" Because the "popular crowd" tends to be the least respectful people in the bunch. There's nothing wrong with being nerdy. You just have to be comfortable with yourself. And, from a guy's perspective... nerdy girls are WAY more attractive anyway. They don't have that aweful attitude.

The sexiest (by far) woman I know looks like a goof-ball, plays Magic: The Gathering, and plays WoW. It's all about the attitude. Look at Regina Spektor... If you just see a picture of her, she looks all kinds of goofy... But her goof-ball attitude makes her:

(btw, I was the biggest nerd in school... german club, chess club, played Dungeons and Dragons... I even larped. Now I live in Seattle and make more than anyone on the football team, I'll tell ya that much. And, far fewer social disorders.)
   
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Re: It never ends - September 1st 2009, 12:15 PM

Hey!!
belle is right! The only reason people bully is because they are conscious about themselves and are insecure. The best way to stop bullying is by just ignoring it. When people see that you are not paying attention, because when you react to it, they will do it more.
But, yes, many people don't realize that bullying is wrong. It really scars a person....
I think the above posts have said all that i have to say!

hope you feel better!!
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: It never ends - September 2nd 2009, 11:00 PM

Hey,

I'm sorry to say this but you meet people like this all through your life, even in the adult world... and it's horrible.
People like this feed off the fact they know they are getting to you.
What they are doing to you is horrible and I know it must feel humilating, I got made to feel like this up until about a year ago and it's horrible. You just to rise above it and make sure the people you do keep as good friends are who you think they are. A good friend will always stick up for you and fight your corner even if it means they get the same treatment because it means you're not in it alone and you have someone there who supports you.
Try ignoring these people and don't give them a reaction. I know it's hard to do but please don't let these people get to you because all they are doing is making you a stronger person and helping you learn that you'll meet people like this along the way and they'll soon realise how horrible it is too.
Pm me anytime.
Paige x
   
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Re: It never ends - September 4th 2009, 06:17 PM

Hey There.

I am really sorry to hear you've had to go through this. No-one deserves to be treated this way, and I'm sorry you've had to put up with this.

I think, as hard as this is going to be, you have to learn to shake it off. I really do understand upsetting it can be, but rising above it and ignoring it is the best thing to do in situations like this. If you show that you refuse to let them pull you down, it makes you a better person. Retaliation, as satisfying as it can seem sometimes won't get you any where and alot of the time simply makes the situation worse.

These people are not your friends, so don't ever feel guilty to simply ignore them. The advice Paige mentioned is really good; try and find yourself someone who can support you, a good friend who you can talk to, and who will take some of the weight off your shoulders

It doesn't go on forever though, and I think most people in the same situation as you will tell you that as people get older, and less immature, this level of abuse often, but not always lessens. I know you've had a bad reaction to this in the past, but talking to an adult/teacher again might lessen things for you. I usually think what's the worst thing that can happen- at least now people are aware of what's going on, even if they don't act on it.

You are a better, nicer and stronger person then they are, and don't ever forget that. Try, as hard as it is, to keep your head up and keep smiling. If you want to check it out, our peer pressure and bullying resources are located [here] and it's quite a handy piece of information to have around! I wish you the best of luck, and hope you're okay. Please feel free to drop me a message any time you need to; I'd be happy to help.

Jess x


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