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How do I get through this? - October 17th 2009, 05:55 AM

Recently, my fiancé broke up with me. That hurt but I was working on being okay. Well, a few days later I found out that he has been telling people that I was cheating on him (I wasn't). Since then, all my friends have stopped talking to me, and his friends have started to randomly text or facebook a bunch of mean messages to me. I'm in my college's band so they've taken to
calling me the band whore. I am so alone and hurt so bad. I have no one in my life to help me through this except my mom, but I feel like she just wants to keep telling me that she knew he was scum and that I should never have gone out with him.

I just don't know what do now. I guess I just wanted to rant and get all of this off my chest.

Last edited by LoveLifeMeaningOver; October 17th 2009 at 06:01 AM.
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Re: How do I get through this? - October 20th 2009, 06:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveLifeMeaningOver View Post
Recently, my fiancé broke up with me. That hurt but I was working on being okay. Well, a few days later I found out that he has been telling people that I was cheating on him (I wasn't).
It's good that you could move on. On the other hand, this guy wants to remain looking good so he makes an excuse. It's just to save face. He is simply a low guy and you should be glad you are no longer with such a drag.


Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveLifeMeaningOver View Post
Since then, all my friends have stopped talking to me, and his friends have started to randomly text or facebook a bunch of mean messages to me.
Ignore his friends. They aren't yours, so their opinions are valuable or worth anything to you. I know that's hard, but there is nothing more you can do. Just be super good in something and show them whose boss. As well, block them on Facebook. If that doesn't work and Faceboook drags you down, ditch it. Don't be a slave to it, it's a slave to you.

As for your friends, try to tell them the truth. True friends have trust. Those who don't trust you, ditch them too. My entire point here is to get rid of what isn't useful for you - things that make you feel bad about yourself. If your friends decide to join the wagon and turn against you, let them be. There's nothing you can do about disgusting people with horrible morals.


Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveLifeMeaningOver View Post
I am so alone and hurt so bad. I have no one in my life to help me through this except my mom, but I feel like she just wants to keep telling me that she knew he was scum and that I should never have gone out with him.
Don't worry too much about what your mom scolds. It's her way of showing she cares. Some moms don't even say anything to their children - no praise or scold. That may be even scarier - to not know if your mom cares about you.

As for feeling alone, deal with it. I had to. I get a sense of fulfillment in life by helping and posting here at TeenHelp. I contribute back to society by helping people here, and I am calm by knowing there are others like me, who live near too many jerks. You might want to try that. Exercise helps too; you might want to try jogging. Exercise stimulate hormones that make you happy. Also try getting out if you haven't. Join clubs or volunteer, or get a job. You will meet new people who know nothing about you, and you get to start clean. These new guys may be nice ones.


Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveLifeMeaningOver View Post
I just don't know what do now. I guess I just wanted to rant and get all of this off my chest.
Relieving stress is good for the soul, just don't do it violently. Good luck. I wish you well.
   
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Re: How do I get through this? - October 20th 2009, 10:41 AM

[quote=I am so alone and hurt so bad. I have no one in my life to help me through this[/quote]
well you have us and i really do sympathies
[quote=I just don't know what do now. I guess I just wanted to rant and get all of this off my chest.[/quote]
as for just telling someone i always find that really helps so you did the right thing all you need to do now is get a pet to pour out your daily emotions to they really seem to listen lol well the quates didnt work
   
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Re: How do I get through this? - October 20th 2009, 12:18 PM

Don't let it get to you, you are the bigger person in this situation by not stooping to his level of telling lies when you split up, instead you moved on and got over it. Don't let his friends get you down either, maybe report the messages and block them as well if it's over Facebook so they can't send you anymore. As for your friends, try and talk to them, let them know the truth and the ones who are your true friends will listen to you, believe you and come back if they don't then they clearly aren't worth your time if they want to believe lies over the truth.

Just don't let it get to you as I said and don't let them see that it is. Carry on as you would normally as if it wasn't happening and when they see that you don't care about it they'll give up and stop because they know they aren't getting a reaction out of you anymore. It'll die down and you won't have to deal with it anymore. And as for what your mum says, she's right with what she says if he is being like this but talk to her, let her know that you need her to be there more then just saying and I'm sure she will be.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to x
   
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Re: How do I get through this? - October 23rd 2009, 11:40 PM

hun your better off without him. If this is the way he acts then you don't need him or the friends that turned on you. True friends don't do that as for feeling alone you got all of us here and try making some new friends you might find a true friend and who knows they could be better then the old ones. As for your mom all moms do that as someone said above its their way of showing they care. Don't let what anyone says get to all that matters is you know the truth :] My ex kinda did the same to me and I promise you things do get better! After me and him broke up I lost a lot of my friends but then I got back on my feet and made new ones and they are better then the old ones in some ways so keep your head up and PM if you wanna talk -hugs-


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