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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Tearxstained Offline
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Just one person.. - November 10th 2009, 03:22 AM

There is one girl in my class who I honestly cannot stand at all. Nobody really talks to her, and usually I get along with people who are kind of shy and quiet, so one day last year I asked her to sit with me in science.
We were talking and somehow I brought up my other friend, this girl, lets call her Anne, stood up and said "If you are friends with her, I can't be friends with you." and walked away.
I was pretty offended and just forgot about her to tell the truth. But now she is in a special class with me with just 23 students all semester so I can't really ignore her anymore.
She annoys me because even though she seems like she would be nice she is really judgemental and rude, and she never listens to other peoples ideas when she is in a group. She is very slow moving, which is bothersome when trying to set up a tent or cook supper quickly in the dark. And she is really clingy once somebody is nice to her once.

Nobody in the class likes her, which makes me feel bad even though I dont blame them. But I seem to dislike her more than the rest. I am usually really nice, like, its one of the only things people say about me, the other being 'your quiet'. So this whole hatred thing is really uncharacteristic and I dont know how to handle it. I try to act nice to her but everybody knows how much I dislike her and sometimes I can't help but to complain about her. I want to stop being so cruel because I know how much it hurts but I dont know what it is about her that makes me dislike her so much.

What can I do to stop making harsh comments? Other than actively try to stop, which I am doing.
Should I talk to her or something and maybe come to an understanding about why she is the way she is?
Am I a horrible person? Cause I kinda feel like one. . .


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Re: Just one person.. - November 11th 2009, 10:39 PM

You're not horrible.

I had bullys that didn't stop their harsh comments and all, even when I spoke to them. THIS is always a possibility when it comes to comments!

If it's really bothering you, bring it to the attention of a teacher, and ask to use the class to sit down and have a one on one disscussion with her. Or just find a quite place to talk where she can't run away. If she continues after that, try and let it roll off your shoulders.

I know, easier said than done, but I'm implied to state the obvious

If you ever want to chat about bullies, just PM me. I've had plenty of expereince.

Good luck to you.


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Re: Just one person.. - November 12th 2009, 07:41 PM

hey,


well, maybe start talking her about your life, if she judges you again just go along with it,
complement her on things , try to be the "better" person and once it happens it will happen ,
um, invite her to sit with you at ,lunch just start hanging with her no matter how awkward it is .
try to get inside of her like her life. and try to be that person to give advice to ,
just be there for her and then she will return the favor.
its going to be hard but honestly. life is the most hardest thing.
there's going to be people out there you not going to like but you might never see her again in your life ,



hope i helped,
bully isnt a funny matter,
words hurt,.

pm me anytime (: .
jessie.
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: Just one person.. - November 13th 2009, 07:39 PM

Be friends with her. Talk to her about how she acts towards other people. Ask her why she does some of the things she does( like for example not being your friend because you're friends with the other person ). Then just be there for her, you "sound" like a good person so just try to be friends with her although you have such feelings. And by the way, its not uncharacteristic for you to have such feelings. Do you know the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde ? Find it in your library or somewhere. The idea is : just as you are good, you also have a bad side. On one side you have you being good but on the other side you have you being equally bad to balance yourself out. The choice is whether to be bad or good. Hope this helps and try to read that short story.
   
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