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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 12th 2009, 11:17 PM

Ok, so there is this one guy in my school, Brad.
Everyone hates him, including me.
But the guy is actualy retarted. Like today, we got our grades in science and he actualy got in my face and he was THIS CLOSE to my face and said I GOT A HIGHER GRADE THEN YOU. I mean, has anyone heard of personal space?
And every time he has to stand out and be stupid trying to act cool.
Even teachers hate him. The dude has no friends.
We are in 9th grade and he started crying because of a bad grade on a test...
EVERYONE HATES HIM! EVERYONE!
And I feel guilty. He dosn't actualy physicly bother anyone... He always makes stupid coments on everything and tries to act cool.

And I feel guilty for hating him so much...
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 12th 2009, 11:38 PM

If he actually is mentally retarted and you aren't just saying that then he actually can't help a lot of the things he does. He's missing a piece in his brain that tells him the things he is doing is wrong.

It's hard dealing with special ed kids sometime my sister is special ed and she annoys the shit out of me constantly she does stuff that she shouldn't but because she's missing that piece in her brain she doesn't know its wrong. But then most other special ed kids don't bother me at all I help out with special olypics and everything I guess it's just because she is my sister.


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Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 13th 2009, 02:27 AM

Edit: Nevermind- everyone else pretty much summed up what I wanted to say- "even the smallest animals have feelings," and everyone matures at a different age. And, if what you said is true(and not exaggerated), he may have a mental problem...aspergers maybe? It's a mental illness that makes kids say or do different, or 'wierd' things that a regular person wouldn't say or do.

But if you're just calling him 'retarded' as an insult...well, that's awful.

You said in a few posts that you were bullied a long time ago. I think you, of all people, should know how it feels to be in his position...I know what it's like, too. I had a kid like you described in 8th grade that nobody else liked, but the things he said to me were downright awful and I didn't feel guilty for hating him.

I'm not saying you should go out of your way to make friends with him, but why not be polite at all times around him?

Last edited by Hey Nikki!; November 13th 2009 at 09:27 PM.
   
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 13th 2009, 02:40 AM

i think if you feel guilty why not try to help the guy? i mean even thought he is mentally retarded he has feelings too. if you turn your back on him too what will it make him? according to you he seems like he doesnt really have friends. maybe the things he do is just how he express about him self. you shouldnt judge a book by its cover. maybe its not him wanting to act cool but actually want to make friends? i think you should give him a fair chance and get to kow him better before you hate him. if your still not interested in helping him why not just slip him a note to join yellow ribbon? im sure we have a lot of members here are willing to help him out. even the smallest animals have feelings.
   
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 13th 2009, 02:50 AM

Ok, two factors heavily affect what he's doing, the fact that he's retarded and the fact that he has no friends. Don't think badly of him (you say yourself that you feel guilty in doing so, so restrain yourself from it). Yes, the things he does may be annoying or obnoxous, but he only does them because, seeing as no one is social towards him, he has yet to learn that these things are wrong. He's ignorant of the rights and wrongs of being social.

Be a friend to him. As you've said in your other posts, you know what it's like to feel as if no one cares about you. Imagine what it's like for this kid, to know that everyone hates you and that no one will even give you a chance to be a friend.


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"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 17th 2009, 12:31 AM

You did't understand... he is PERFECTLY FINE!!! He just enjoys annoying people. i dek why
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 17th 2009, 01:24 AM

As I said before, he may very well just, as you said, have no friends and therefor doesn't know how to act around other people. There's this one kid in my grade who can come off as perverted, annoying, and obnoxous at times but it's just because he literally has no friends and people used to make fun of him a lot. While I'm sure a lot of people just think "Oh he doesn't have friends because he acts that way" I'm positive that he acts this way because he doesn't know how to act because he never got the chance to learn around other people.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
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"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 17th 2009, 01:32 AM

Wait a minute! You just said he was "actualy retarted." What are you trying to say?
   
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 19th 2009, 03:34 AM

Aww poor Chad (my name too). I'd be his friend. There's a kid in our school that had no friends at all, and annoyed a lot of people. I started talking to him made him feel welcomed at our lunch table. Now he talks to many people, and feels much more secure.
   
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 19th 2009, 03:58 AM

"But the guy is actualy retarted"
above is from your first post
And now you are saying he's not retarted? What the hell.....which one is it...


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 19th 2009, 10:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inventor View Post
Aww poor Chad (my name too). I'd be his friend. There's a kid in our school that had no friends at all, and annoyed a lot of people. I started talking to him made him feel welcomed at our lunch table. Now he talks to many people, and feels much more secure.
Aww, that's nice of you. Kira, why don't you try to do something similar to this? Then it will get rid of the guilt...but if you think it's too awkward, then there's not much else you can do with this guy except make small talk. Then go from there.

(But I think his name is Brad, not Chad.)
   
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 19th 2009, 10:34 PM

I think she meant retarded as in he doesn't actually have a mental problem but he acts 'stupid' or 'mental.' (It's not the kindest of word to use, as it insults people who are actually mentally retarded).

Anyway... I can understand why you might be annoyed with this kid. I had a kid that would do that to me last year (only difference was that everyone loved him because of the immature way he acted). The truth is that it is hard not to get annoyed with people like this. I could say "oh, poor kid," but I know exactly how you feel, people like that do get extremely annoying.

But, that being said... hate is a strong word. No one deserves to be treated negatively because of the way they act, no matter how annoying or rude they can be. There's nothing wrong with having moderate negative feelings about him, so long as you aren't rude to him directly. Bite your lip around him, don't say anything that could offend him - then you're stooping down to his level.

Despite what a few people have said in this thread, there's no reason you should have to force yourself to befriend someone who you dislike. Everyone has people they dislike. As long as you aren't directly rude to him, I don't think it's that big of a deal.





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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 20th 2009, 03:06 PM

I mean not mentaly retarted, but retarted as in annoying, rude and... well, just stupid...
I know it's mean but...
He Tries to act cool, starting to curs people out, and when people tell him to shut the hell up, he starts to cry and scream "EVERYONE HATES ME".
It is just so wierd. The other day he started cursing out at this one football player and the guy told him to back off, but he didn't (trying to act cool again)
so the football player shoved him and Brad starts crying and brings his mother to yell at the football player (don't know his name). I mean, we are in HIGH SCHOOL!!! Who the hell brings teir mom?

That is how stupid he is.
So the football guy tells his mom that Brad was very rude and abnoxious, but the mothe screamed like "If you ever bother my son again, you will be sorry, i will call hte juvi cops", shit like that...

AND BRAD WAS THERE WITH A HAPPY LOOK ON HIS FACE!!!

Last edited by The Kira; November 20th 2009 at 03:17 PM.
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 20th 2009, 04:11 PM

My honest oppion is wether you like it or not the kid you are describ sounds like he is mentailly retarted there for can't help the things he does. He doesn't know how to act because that piece in his braIN IS MISSING. YES I KNOW you SAY hes PERFECTLY fine......But just for what you describe no he's not he has some problems and I think a piece of his brain is missing.. with this said.

You do not need to make friends with the kid, but you aslo don't need to go and start problems either. If he comes up to you just walk away.

Also just because people are DIFFRENT from YOU and ME doesn't give you the right to automatically push them aside and not get to know them. Who the hell knows maybe if you got to know the guy he wouldn't be half bad.

I work with special ed kids every week and live with one 24/7 so I know a lot if you ever need to talk let me know.

P.S. using the word retarted when someone is retarted isn't right(yet I tend to do it myself but trying to quit) theres a lot of people who get affended by it.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
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It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 20th 2009, 04:15 PM

Well, now that you think about it, it could be....
But the problem is I do want to help him and... you know... It's hard to watch him being bullied, and the reason I feel guilty is I am just not doing anything. To be honest, I don't know how to help...
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 20th 2009, 04:20 PM

Be hes friend...Just talk to him make small conversations with him...make him feel like hes just like every one else...


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
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Re: I FEEL SO GUILTY - November 20th 2009, 10:01 PM

I think he was probably bullied a long time ago by people, and he wants to get back at the world, so to speak. He lashes out at people, but then he cries when they yell back. The only reason he cusses people out is because it makes him feel good about himself...for a while. The problem is that he's looking for self confidence in all the wrong places.

And he probably wanted to repay that football player for whatever he did to him. I don't think he just went up to him without a reason.
   
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