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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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nehneh Offline
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Unhappy self-pressure? - December 17th 2009, 01:26 AM

So this might just seem a bit weird or different or whatever but i go to a really academically stressful school. Everyone knows it to the point that theres even a fb group on it. Im really competitive and this would be a good atmosphere for me except whenever i do less than perfect i want to break down and cry. I did that over my sat and psat scores even though they were actually considered ok. I pressure and force myself to do well or i feel like im a failure. My parents dont help with this since they tell me they wont be proud of me if i dont get all A's. maybe they said it as a joke but that caused me to work even harder. I realize school is important but i cant stop having such high expectations for myself and then letting myself down.
   
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Re: self-pressure? - December 18th 2009, 03:27 PM

Your parents lied. Mine do too about that. But they only say that to push me to strive for the best, thats all. They just want whats best for you, thats all. It's okay to be really good, but nobody likes being perfect, its just impossible and too much of a strain. So chill and they are proud of you. Really sorny, but its true, "Nobody's perfect!"..good luck.
   
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Re: self-pressure? - December 18th 2009, 07:41 PM

I used to be exactly the same. I'm an expected A* in English Language, and when I got a B in my media coursework, I cried. When I my teacher told me I had to get A*s to go to a good uni, I broke down. A couple of years ago I was even worse. It would make me feel worthless if I didn't understand the maths work in a single lesson. And worst of all was the unreasonable shame I'd feel at not knowing. I wouldn't feel able to ask for help, not just the teacher, not even my friends.

What you have to remember is that school is not the world. School is a small portion of your life that, if you're as smart as you seem to be, won't have such a large affect on the rest of your life. Pushing yourself too hard and hating yourself when you fall, it isn't healthy. But falling is. Getting a low grade, or even simply a bit lower than you wanted, it's part of being human. Mistakes are unavoidable, and definitely necessary to learn. I'll never "fail" (in my own words) another piece of media coursework again. And by the way, I doubled my marks on the redraft. Even if I hadn't, it wouldn't have been the end.

Your parents care about you. Explain to them how much pressure there is on you - because there is pressure from your actual school as well, I'm sure - and ask them not to add to this. I know how it makes you feel if they take your good grades for granted. You just have to tell them not to.

No school grade is the end of all. Getting a B or a C won't affect your chances of getting into a good college or university.

Best wishes,
r&r xx


Have a free hug.


Why be stingy? Take another.


It's gonna be okay.

Last edited by razors_and_rosary; December 18th 2009 at 08:07 PM.
   
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