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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bubbles09 Offline
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Right or wrong decision? - December 17th 2009, 08:42 PM

Hey people,

Ok, to cut a longish story short...

I overheard 2 people (a couple) at college saying nasty, uncalled for, totally out of order things about my girlfriend. Obviously they said these things when they thought they were out of earshot but i happened to be working in a small room which they walked past while they were saying these things.

On hearing this i was very upset and angry but i made sure i could be a 100% certain that they were talking about my girlfriend, i found out what happened prior to the outburst to find out what triggered it.

Rather than confronting it right away i took an early lunch to calm down and not do anything rash.

When i returned back to college i came face to face with the girl who was saying the horrible things and decided to confront her about it, saying that if she has problems with something I have done then to raise the issue with me rather than being nasty about my girlfriend, in reaction to this she totally denied it, lying right to my face. Now i have had dealings with these 2 before and know that they have a habbit of not being about to own up to things they have done. After being blantently lied to i lost my rag and it ended with 'f**k you', her boyfriend who had turned up sometime during the confrontation told me i was out of order, which resulted in him getting a short but hard shove.

I spoke to my tutor after what happened to confess what i did and she told me not to worry about it and that i had made the right decision confronting things but not to tell my girlfriend about it so not to hurt her with the things they had been saying, which i wouldn't have done anyway.

My girlfriend knows that i had a confrontation with them but not the real reason, and subsequently isn't very pleased with what i've done. This does get to me a little because i did what i did to defend her but obviously she doesnt know and i'll never tell her but part of me just wants to be proud of me.

I know i was wrong to react violently but i think i said what i had to say in a reasonable way and could have resorted to being nasty myself easily.

So what do you guys think, right or wrong decision? And any tips to stop my stupid ego from hurting a little?

Sorry its such a long post, thanks.
   
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Re: Right or wrong decision? - December 18th 2009, 03:24 PM

First, I greatly admire you sticking up for yuor girl. As you can probably see, a lot of girls on this site don't get that kind of treatment from bfs. So kudos!
Second, though I'm opposed to violence, and I'm proud of you for defending her, it done't matter what they say doe sit? Is it true? Of course not! Then don't bother about what a bunch of jerks say. They're not even worth a second of your time. You did great helping your girl, my advice though, tell her what happened. It'd be worse if she was mad at you cause you didnt tell her, rather than her being disgusted with ppl who deserve it for teasing her. Calm down, and rmemeber, you and your girl are better than them (haha ego boosting here), so dont evne give them a second thought.
   
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Re: Right or wrong decision? - December 28th 2009, 07:25 AM

I don't know if what you did was the right or wrong decision, but I would have done the exact same thing in your position. I probably would have been as calm so props for that.
   
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Re: Right or wrong decision? - December 29th 2009, 10:05 PM

I think you made the right decision. Acting violently isnt really great, but sometimes it is neccessary (as far as I'm concerned at least)

You protected the person that matters and I applaud you in that.

As for your ego, your girlfriend might be annoyed at you for having the confrontation, but you saved her from being hurt and upset.



Ticklish Tattoo!



   
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Re: Right or wrong decision? - January 1st 2010, 03:53 PM

Hey there.

It's always hard when you here people being cruel about somebody you love. Alot of us have just a natural instinct to protect people we care about. I think you did really well here to be honest. You took yourself out the situation, calmed yourself down, and thought things through. I guess it was kind of unlucky you bumped into the girl afterwards. You were obviously still quite angry, and maybe it was quite inevitable a confrontation was going to occur.

Try not to beat yourself up about it. It happened, you made a mistake when you were rightfully angry, and things do happen. As hard it may be for your ego, what about apologising? Explain you thought his girlfriends comments were out of order, but you were also for shoving him?

Either that, or simply move on. You and your girlfriend seem pretty solid, but you know where we are if things don't work out because of this. Don't let one incident ruin things for you!

If you need me, just drop a message my way. Best of luck
Jess x


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That's where you'll find me
   
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losing touch. Offline
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Re: Right or wrong decision? - January 1st 2010, 05:04 PM

yes you made the right decision. if my boyfriend overheard people being horrible about me i'd expect him to stick up for me!. sometimes people need to be put in their place, good on you!


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



   
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Re: Right or wrong decision? - January 1st 2010, 09:20 PM

Yah I think you did the right thing by confronting her however pushing the boyfriend wasn’t necessary. Anyways I still think your in the right.
   
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