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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ryan1019 Offline
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I was harassed, i insulted back, then this happens. - January 24th 2010, 07:29 PM

ok so here's the story, this girl posted a status on fb about how she hasnt been drinking in awhile and is upset and doesnt know how to feel and i said "less of a scumbag" she deleted me off her friends list..then blocked me..i messaged her "loll wtf?" then she blocks me...then i get a bunch of friends i/ming me asking about her status...turns out..she posted a status about me, about a paragraph long saying i should die, and talking about my suicide problems saying i have no friends and calling me the C*** word, which is weird because i'm a male. however out of anger i messaged her saying if i hear of another message about me i'll..and i'll leave this part out because its mean, well i think she called the cops on me for that because a state trooper pulled into my driveway today. she had threatened to call the cops saying that she can say w.e but i cant cause her uncle is part of the local state trooper dept or w.e..

i dont know how to prove that what i said was in retaliation to all the harassment she had done to me over something that wasnt even an insult.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I was harassed, i insulted back, then this happens. - January 25th 2010, 06:00 AM

Well one thing I learnt in all of my studies, is never to insult a bully, this is why, it gives them an excuse to react. (and i'm really not sure why you have a bully as a friend on facebook that part confused me a little)

Ok if the police are now involved for cyber bullying. Tell them the truth, nothing good will come of lying. and don't worry about her dad (A policeman is unlikely to be in a case where his own family is involved. Its too personal)

If the police are not involved, you can start by apologising. (your left with no choice right now) addmitting your mistakes my get her to addmit her own. I probably caught her off guard, she was feeling bad and you sent her a little insult message. She overeacted alot, and probably feels a little guilty. who knows she could be going through tough times.

Oh to talk to her just make a fake account. then addmit your mistakes. hopefully she'll except it.

hope it works out

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Re: I was harassed, i insulted back, then this happens. - January 27th 2010, 06:14 AM

Legally you are not allowed to threaten people. What you CAN (does not mean should do) is make a more vague insult or a wish. For example

"I will beat you up" - Illegal
"I hope someone shoots you and rids the world of such a ****ing loser" - Legal

Now I do not advocate saying that, but I am just trying to show that you are in the legal wrong by example. What you did, if it was a threat, is illegal. In your favor you can sue her for Libel (Making up information about you and writing it so others could see). There is a good deal of money to be involved if you win, if you do have a suicide problem you can't sue her though. Don't worry about a harassment lawsuit as she harassed you at the same level, making the suit void.
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Re: I was harassed, i insulted back, then this happens. - January 27th 2010, 12:11 PM

Well... she might've taken what you said in the wrong way to begin with. She probably thought you were calling her a "scumbag" or somehow putting her down when (to me, at least) it's obvious you were just saying that now that she doesn't drink she should feel less bad. If I were you I would message her apologizing maturely, explaining what you meant by that to begin with, and saying you don't understand why she reacted the way she did. Apologize for insulting her after because, to be honest, once you insult back you start losing points yourself. Tell her you were having a rough day and overreacted.
Then just politely ignore any douchebaggery your friend might pull. Whether she ignores you or insults you again, simply ignore it. Don't insult or threaten her again.
Because saying "I will do something" if that something is violent or insulting it's definitely counted legally as threatening, and that girl might have called the cops on that charge or informally asked them to keep an eye on you. Like someone said, it doesn't seem likely that her uncle would be one of the cops in the investigation, maybe they were just there to scare you or for some unrelated reason.
Let's play the devil's advocate here for a second. Imagine you say you're off drinking and someone makes that coment, which you misinterpret, and think it's an insult. You're feeling crappy (most bullies have low self-esteem, just remember that) and so you post to your f-list complaining. Then you receive a message threatening you and including information that was, supposedly, confidential (if it was friends-only). I think the girl overreacted, sure, but if she's dealing with problems she likely felt threatened.
So my advice is definitely to apologize as said above and further ignore her comments and insults. Try getting evidence of her insults. For example, ask a friend to screen capture the page where she insulted you, and save any messages she sends you. That way, if you need to defend yourself further (though threats are pretty serious, but if you apologize and tell her you didn't mean it it might just be put down to a kid's fight and not a huge threatening fight), or if you need to report her to someone (principal, parents, police) you'll have some data and won't seem like you're just making it up about your friend.
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Re: I was harassed, i insulted back, then this happens. - January 29th 2010, 10:34 PM

In addition to what the others have said, all i can say is that before you put up those status things on facebook, think about how that other person will take it. She took it in a very different way. But retaliation is not the way to do stuff.
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Re: I was harassed, i insulted back, then this happens. - January 29th 2010, 10:46 PM

I think she over reacted, alot. How can she justify sayin she hopes you die over what you said? Thats messed up. I dont think youve done nothing wrong by retaliating.
If she is a proper friend, she wouldnt have said that, and if she means enough to you, swallow ur pride and apologise. You dont have to mean it, but whats she to know if you dont mean it? lol But I think maybe there should be apologies on both sides here.

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