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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Forgotten Offline
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He just won't stop :\ - February 3rd 2010, 06:39 PM

I'm gonna cut this short.

This guy at my school (as usual, the "cool guy") won't leave me alone. Every time he sees me he tends to call me racist names just because I'm Asian. (I'll leave the names out for obvious reasons).

I've talked to higher staff such as principal, counseller etc about this and we've tried to resolve it, but he just keeps doing it and higher staff won't seem to do anything. I've had half a mind just to throw a punch at him but I figure ~

a. It wouldn't be reasonable
b. He could probably beat the *blank* out of me.

Any advice for ignoring him but not getting angry?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 3rd 2010, 07:24 PM

Ugh, I hate bullies!!

have you tried avoiding him?

Maybe try not to respond to him... If you just ignore it, it won't be fun for him anymore, and he'll move on.

BUT ignoring it is really hard, I've honestly never been able to do it. I have a couple friends who thats what they did, and it worked wonders.

and I have a friend who got ganged up on in a bathroom, and he just started punching them enough to get out of the bathroom (not enough to cause lasting damage), and they never picked on him again. But, violence really isn't the best choice...

Sorry, this probably didn't help much at all.. Just know that you aren't alone, ok?



PM me any time, ok? I'm always here to help.



What's the second amendment for?
Just in case the government takes away the first.
   
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 3rd 2010, 08:05 PM

Hey Forgotten,
Well. I'm sorry that you are put in that situation and that no one seems to be able to help you. I understand how incredibly annoying that has to be. I think your best bet is to do as Kimvia said, ignore him. Honestly, bullies find joy in causing others pain, and if he thinks your over his name calling and that it doesn't effect you anymore, then he will most likely move on. If this doesn't work, try to go back to the principal, get your parents involved, get your teachers involved, anyone you can. Bullying isn't something that should be taken lightly and, again, I'm sorry no one is doing anything to help you. I do think ignoring him would be the best option. With getting everyone involved it might give him the attention that he is obviously craving, which might make it worse. But, if it comes down to it. I suggest doing whatever you can do stop him. Getting bullied on a daily basis isn't healthy, which, I'm sure you know.
I wish you luck, I really hope he shuts up.
Take care, PM me if you need anything.


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You gotta live it before itís too late
I canít turn that clock back around
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You better do it now, donít wait

Do something crazy and dumb, while your still young. <3

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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 3rd 2010, 11:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forgotten View Post
This guy at my school (as usual, the "cool guy") won't leave me alone. Every time he sees me he tends to call me racist names just because I'm Asian.
He's probably calling you these names to look more powerful. Because you don't attack back (you shouldn't anyway), he looks "cooler" and more dominant. This is a way to gain power and respect. Name-calling is most likely his way of venting, and he just has problems. Sort of like a punching bag.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Forgotten View Post
I've talked to higher staff such as principal, counseller etc about this and we've tried to resolve it, but he just keeps doing it and higher staff won't seem to do anything.
That makes thing worse. You can start by making an incident log from the top of your head. Those logs are admissable in court. Then, try going above "higher staff." Go to the police or superintendent, with your log in hand. It's like a bullet. If those guys ignore you, it looks bad.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Forgotten View Post
I've had half a mind just to throw a punch at him ... Any advice for ignoring him but not getting angry?
Violence doesn't solve anything. But it can help. It worked for somebody I know. He had a friend who turned against him for popularity for several years, and when he got fed up with the insults, he punched the guy. Since the two of them used to be best friends, the backstabber had a hard time explaining why he got punched in the first place to his parents. In the end, fear made him stop the insults.

However, it doesn't really get you anywhere. You could go to jail for assaulting people, so don't count this as an option when you're older. Ignoring him is the best bet, but that's hard. The best way really is to avoid him. As in, don't let him see you and don't listen to him. That way, you don't get hurt and he doesn't have a chance to see his hurtful words destroy you. He gets no satisfaction in other words.


Anyway... best of luck.
   
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 4th 2010, 12:09 AM

I love how you used the term “cool guy” let me guess he hangs out with a butch of guys at lunch and spikes his hair? You know what’s wrong with that picture.. There’s no girls and you know why… Because girls don’t like assholes.

Listen you’ve just got to understand where it’s coming from, just ignore it and honestly don’t let it get to you because he has no barring on your life. If its just names he’s calling you leave it be. However if he puts one figure on you then you have to stand up for yourself and tell your parents because bullies need to be dealt with.

When I was in elementary school I had a lazy eye. When I’d trip or do anything stupid, this one kid would always say.. “Why don’t you look where you’re going with your good eye…?!” All never forget that.

One day just as we where coming in from lunch he pushed me down the stairs and said the similar line, 2 mints later I walked right up to him in the walls and punched him square in the face he cried like a baby and I got suspended from school for 3 days. But I never had any issues after that. Keep in mind I never tried ignoring him. I’d always just get upset.

That all took place in grade 6.
   
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 4th 2010, 12:15 AM

Tell him to fuck off
If you stand up to him (not in the way wear you end up hitting him) then he wont do it.
I know it feels so difficult to do so but, maybe thats the only way to shut them up, I know it was at my school and it makes the ones who got bullied a better person and more confident. People then realise how weak and small the bully actually is.
   
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 4th 2010, 04:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by EightEleven91 View Post
Tell him to fuck off
If you stand up to him (not in the way wear you end up hitting him) then he wont do it.
I know it feels so difficult to do so but, maybe thats the only way to shut them up, I know it was at my school and it makes the ones who got bullied a better person and more confident. People then realise how weak and small the bully actually is.
EightEleven, sorry but that is a really bad idea, if i know anything about bullies... Its to never insult them. Cause then they get peer pressure from their mates and there forced to hurt, whether they want to or not.

secondly, ignoring is good, as long as they don't get physical.
thirdly, racists just don't understand that human evolution is gunna forces all the races together into one race do they?

so, heres my suggestion: So far the he's still bullying you cause he thinks your ashamed of being asian, as if its a charater flaw. (which is pretty stupid) So what you have to do is make sure he knows that your proud of your race! when insults you say things like:
I like being asian, People say asian's have really cute eyes (sorry i'm not sure if your a girl or a boy)
or simply just: are you kidding? i love the way i look.

It doesn't matter what you say, so long as you make sure he knows your proud, and that! will make him stop. If the bully thinks you love how your asian, then he won't bully you. Its like trying to whip someone who can't feel pain. he stop soon after he sees that.

But whatever you do, don't stop smile, make sure he thinks your happy. no mater what. its hard, but give it your best shot!


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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 4th 2010, 01:55 PM

Thanks for all the posts. As for the violence posts, I think i'll leave that as a last resort. This thread has helped alot.

Thanks for your concern and posts
   
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 15th 2010, 08:02 PM

Forgotten, how is it going now ? Is the guy still bullying you ?
   
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 17th 2010, 11:37 AM

Hey forgotten Sorry I've only just come across this now!
It sounds like you've got some really good advice here already. But mainly, keep you're haed held high, and believe in yourself. Don't let people drag you down; Be who you want to be!

Keep us updated! How's everything going at the moment?


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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 18th 2010, 06:14 AM

what color is he? if he calls u a rasict name just tryin to get a laugh shoot 1 back dont let it bother u guys like that r usually just tryin to be funny make it into a game


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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 18th 2010, 07:20 PM

Everything seems to be fine, he's lowered it down a little now that I've started to pay no attention to him.

Thanks so much again guys.
   
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Re: He just won't stop :\ - February 18th 2010, 07:23 PM

Once again, so very happy that it's okay! =]
Am going to close this now xx


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