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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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...just another victim - February 9th 2010, 07:31 PM

Some of you guys might have seen my thread on Friends and Family about a homophobic guy, whom I named 'Obnoxious', that I argued with a few months back about same-sex couples and kids. I said there that I wasn't going to speak to this 'friend' of mine to try and get him to see that he really offended me, and maybe even apologise.

Well, it's been two months since then and he's basically turned on me. I haven't been friendly with him since the original argument, and his homophobia worsened. I also talked with 'Reasonable' (the friend caught in the middle, who is homophobic, but rationalised his argument) less, and now I hardly speak to him at all, and definitely never when Obnoxious is around. But it's worse than that. There's a lot of bull going around school at the moment about me and a couple of my besties, centred on me and my sexuality. I'm bi, but the general consensus is that I'm a lesbian. And Obnoxious is encouraging that. He's mentioned it to several not-too-friendly guys, and we've even received shit that he prompted. Like in maths, this ignorant **** asked my bestie if she was a lesbian, and I KNOW Obnoxious had been talking about us beforehand. He's also called "love you!" (you know, in that friendly I-support-you way) to a girl that was bitchy to us, and called us lesbian insults a couple of times -- just not to our faces.

I've tried ignoring him, telling him to 'say it to my face', he won't listen to me, accept my feelings, or stop. He's utterly immature and unable to accept other people in this world matter. I don't care for him, but I do miss Reasonable, and he is worsening school life for not just me but my friends as well -- girls that used to be friends with him too before he forced them to take sides and they rejected him.

Some teachers have noticed...ONE teacher has noticed I'm quieter and unhappier than usual, even though it's not exactly hard to see, especially in the classes where I don't have any friends except Reasonable (classes which Obnoxious are all in). Reasonable himself is a decent guy, but recently he's worsened, probably because of Obnoxious. I don't get the chance to talk to him face to face, and I know Obnoxious will be patronising and insulting me to him behind my back.

What can I do?


Have a free hug.


Why be stingy? Take another.


It's gonna be okay.
   
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Re: ...just another victim - February 9th 2010, 07:50 PM

In your situation, I'd probably try to talk to Reasonable and tell him how Obnoxious is upsetting you. It's a shame that you and Obnoxious are on bad terms, but if you can get Reasonable on your side (you deserve him more than Obnoxious!) you'll have a friend to help you cope. I'm gonna have to say ignore all the bull about your sexuality...you can't really stop Obnoxious from saying stuff, but you can stop him from getting what he wants, which sounds like he wants you to be totally friendless. Don't let him get that. If you keep your friends on your side it won't matter what other people say, your friends will be there for you. Don't forget you're a strong person and you can get through this; talk to the teachers if things get really bad, just try not to let it get to you. Bullies are wrong, you're innocent - remember that.




   
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Re: ...just another victim - February 15th 2010, 07:55 PM

Agreed with the above poster. This is what I have to add.

Make sure you don't seek trouble with these guys. I myself have recently learned that these phobias that people experience are not just simple phases but are actual fears. So this obnoxious guy, if you provoke him to a certain point he may just react off emotional anger and fear and somebody will get hurt. So, don't confront them face to face as if you are looking for a fight, but ignore them and go on with your life.

Secondly, i too encourage you to talk to that friend who is reasonable as you seem you don't want to lose him as a friend.

And after all this, forget everything and continue with your life.
   
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Re: ...just another victim - February 17th 2010, 05:16 AM

Hmm you've gotta talk with reasonable. Theres no other way to get him back as friend. (don't wait for a miracle, cause the only way that can happen is if you try)

Keep your head held high about your sexuality, stand tall and be proud of it and those bullies will die back.

These people who don't accept other sexualities, better get use to it. Their complete idiots...


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